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Infidelity (long)

12 posts in this topic

Never Say Never.... I created this topic in August of 2016.  Today is Feb 2017 and as I read back over this I think I knew all along it could happen.   Lets just say I did travel back down that road.   I've lost close to 85 lbs and with all my newfound interests... I  never stopped thinking about "him". 

Soooooo one day I was out with friends and I got the impulsive urge to reach out to him  So I did by requesting him as  a friend on FB.  He responded the following day on fb messenger and seemed very happy to hear from me.   He text me his phone number and explained how much he missed me and was so happy to hear from me.  So we went back and forth and although we didn't have a lot of time he was eager to meet up with me if only for a hug and quick hello.  I was super excited to reveal my new self to him and he seemed already excited to see me the way he knew me.  We met up briefly and the smile on his face was worth it all.  We hugged and agreed to keep in touch and link up real soon.  When I walked away he grabbed me again, hugged me and said damn baby you look soooo good I miss everything about you.   I was satisfied with having just seen him.   I figured he wouldn't follow through with further contact.

Well we remained in contact.  We did meet up all the old feelings never left and I was once again in love but very cautious.   What was I doing? The man I'm married to has gone through enough already. BUT I couldn't stop myself I was already in too deep.  This time it was different.  I was getting what I needed from him.  He was highly responsive to my texts, He initiated.  almost like he had a 2nd chance to make a 1st impressionHe even said I thought I would never see you again.  I never forgot you and don't think I haven't tried to find you.  COme to find out when we started texting through FB messenger I saw 4 previous attempts over the last 2 years where he attempted to reach out to me.  The most recent attempt prior to my December contact to him was May 2016. For some reason I never got them.  It looks like he sent them and I just never responded.

Anyways Everything was awesome I was having my cake and eating it too.  I know it wasn't fair to my husband but I really needed to obtain closure from this situation.  I needed validation, affirmation and I was getting a little more than that.   Well a little more than a month since we reunited, my husband found out that I had been back in contact with him and he was of course devastated, heartbroken you name it.  He did reach out to the young man and he was very apologetic to my husband.  He did continue to contact me and even though I shouldn't have I welcomed his contact and we continued to make plans to spend time together.  Several days after my husband found out... I received a text message from the guys phone.   I guess his girlfriend was notifying me that he had one.

She then left a vm on my phone screaming at the young man and demanding he tell her he has a GF and a baby on the way.  I was hurt because he lied to me.  I asked him several times if he had someone and he adamantly told me no.  He knew my marital status therefore he had no reason to lie.   He later told me that he thought if he admitted to having a GF he would lose me.   I told him that we both need to go fix our lives accept that we are not meant to be in each others lives and I wished him the best.

I did not feel bad about the GF because if he had been honest she may not have ever found out.  (twisted thinking)  Because I thought he was single, I contacted him when it was convienient for me.  If id known about his GF I would have been more considerate.  I do feel bad for my hubby although he understands how this guy affected me and that I needed closure I hate stepping on his heart to get it.   Well I got it.   It never had anything to do with the way I looked-- he just wished things were different because he developed feelings for me.  The best way to get over what he could not have was to move on.  He did think I looked amazing but did not comment on the weight loss.

My husband and I have patched things up and you would think that he was the one that messed up because I've been getting flowers and candy and edible arrangements, trips to the jewelry store etc.  My husband says he feels relieved and believes he finally has me back totally as he knows how I had been previously tormented.

In the end I know it was wrong, it was very selfish of me to have an affair in the first place it was dead wrong for me to reach out to him recently.  it all worked out though and I do not regret it.  A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders-- I don't really think about him anymore.  Really now-- I could care less.


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Boy, I sure do feel sorry for your husband, he deserves better...

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