separation

[hoot temple 25]

she wants out, done no wrong, tried to fix it. she s taking half for her and her addicted son. did I make a mistake doing this. anyone else lose a spouse over this. she says its because of the new me.

[MBP 128]

she wants out, done no wrong, tried to fix it. she s taking half for her and her addicted son. did I make a mistake doing this. anyone else lose a spouse over this. she says its because of the new me.

What are the issues? What's wrong with the new you? Please be objective bc others might soon to through this as well. I'm fact it's one of the Cons

[Cervidae 2,389]

If what she means by "the new you" is that you are getting healthy and changing appearances and striving toward good habits, then it's HER that is doing something wrong. A person who truly loves you and is good for you and your life would be happy and proud of your accomplishments, not bitter and insecure. I'm sorry this is happening to you but (without any further information) it seems she's just as toxic as the food that was making us sick and the fat that was killing us if the new healthy you is something she doesn't like or want.

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

It's very common for couples to break up or get divorced after one member has the surgery. There are a variety of reasons why, but mostly due to insecurity on the spouse who did not have surgery.

[JamieLogical 8,684]

WLS can be very taxing on relationships. If the two people are just at totally different point in their lives and moving in different directions, WLS can definitely exacerbate the issues.

[2goldengirl 2,076]

If you were only sleeved in March, and she's leaving barely two months later, these were issues brewing long before you had your surgery.

Nevertheless, I'm sorry this is happening to you.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am so sorry. You are only a few months post op, it is such an emotional time. I hope you can find a way to take care of yourself through this. Perhaps she would be open to counseling?

[KristenLe 5,979]

This is a major transition and unfortunately often causes a strain on relationships. If there were existing issues - it's even worse. You did not make a mistake - your health and life is more important. Get a lawyer and a counselor! Take care of yourself!

[Valentina 2,642]

I know.

I wish to God every day that I didn't, but I know.

My S.O. committed suicide the morning of my surgery. He was adamant about me not have WLS.

I strongly believe that now is the time that you make NO major, life changing decisions .

Let your relationship rest. If it's meant to be, it will work out.

Give both of you time to adjust. .

Your surgery is done. It can not be reversed. I believe that for now you have to work on "you".

​

Try to get into counseling---for you, for her, then for the two of you.

I wouldn't wish what you're feeling on man nor beast. It's stuff that nightmares are of.

I know...

Many prayers from many people sending prayers up for you, my friend.

[Andrew0929 1,101]

I say let her and her addicted son go, if she feels that strongly about disliking the new you.

I suppose counseling could help get to the root issues, but have a good lawyer ready.

I've been down this road, including a nasty custody battle (which I won), and don't wish it on anyone.

Good luck...

[mngreeneyes 674]

So sorry to hear about your wife's choices, but they are hers. I hope you choose to take care of you. That is why you had the surgery in the first place, right? To take care of you. There are relationships of all kinds that change, sometimes drastically because of one of the people in the relationship having the surgery. Friends, family members, etc. But the thing is that we change and sometimes other people can't tolerate that change. Its hard to watch any relationship die, but believe there are better things for you on the other side, including health and self-confidence.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you,

Take care of yourself,

pam