Valentine’s Day Question: Has Weight Loss Surgery Improved Your Relationship?

[Alex Brecher 10,484]

Hey, BariatricPal Members,

I have a question for you. I’d like to feature a story in the Valentine’s Day newsletter about weight loss surgery and relationships. If you’d like me to consider including yours, please post on this thread!

Is there anyone out there who has found that their relationship with their SO has gotten better after Weight Loss Surgery? Maybe your relationship got stronger after going through some of the hardships, or you’re closer because of your new body and confidence?

Thanks for sharing! I can’t wait to read the great stories.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

i really wish i could say that it got better.... but no, if anything it got worse.

So i was pretty vague with my post.... so let me explain better. We have been married 24 years. And in those years he has seen my weight go from 100lb to my highest at 230. He never said anything about me getting fat, but our "relationship" was strained to say the least. He never wanted me to have surgery, but i did it for me... No one else. When the weight started coming off i have to say it got better. He was "interested" in me again. Went from twice a year... to twice or more a week.... I was in heaven. I loved all the attention. But then other men started noticing me and he saw that... and didn't like it one bit. He has even said that me losing weight was the worse thing ever. We are back to once every three months or so... which is terrible because i woke up one morning with the drive of an 18 year old boy... lol.

But i hang in there.... for how long, im really not sure anymore.

I think it must be wonderful to have a spouse that supports you and encourages you.... so too all of you that have that.. i envy you..... I know that Envy if the Thief of happiness.... but i do.

Edited January 26, 2015 by bayougirlmrsc

[Healthy_life2 8,319]

Wow,

My husband and I have always had a solid relationship. After weight loss surgery I have found myself again. Besides the regained confidence I have become a genuinely happy person and I have found things that I am passionate about in life.

Passion with my husband has definitely increased. We chase each other around like teenagers and have started dating again.

My husband is my biggest cheerleader. Throughout the Bariatric process he has always believed in me. We are both beyond happy about the physical changes with WLS. The changes in my personality have blown him away. I have a positive drive for living life. I don't plan on wasting this amazing gift I have received from this process.

My husband has made reservations for dinner on Valentines day. I have bought a hot little red dress for him. I am so fortunate to actually be in love with the man that has been in my life for 20 years.

[Alex Brecher 10,484]

I know Weight Loss Surgery has Improved **MANY** Relationships. We'd really really appreciate if you can share your success story.

[ProjectMe 909]

I began the process of getting WLS surgery back in June. I would share all the information I was learning with my husband. He totally embraced our new lifestyle and began working out with me and making better food choices. He has lost over 40 pounds and I am at 80 pounds down. More important that the weight loss, was the fact that we began spending more time together. Through our many walks, we had conversations like we were getting to know each other again. It is so nice to be able to feel like a couple again and not just like "mom" & "dad". I'd have to say that our level of intimacy has increased greatly through this process. And not just physically but mentally and emotionally. My husband is definitely my best friend and this WLS experience truly solidified our bond.

[Stevehud 1,790]

Im only 5 weeks in, but Being able to open up, or maybe it is being forced to open up to my wife about how I feel about myself. About all the things that we keep to ourselves about being obese, has definitely brought us closer. I feel like I can share anything, no matter how embarrassing, or how personal, without fear. Since this is a journey for both of us, me in finding myself and for her in seeing the changes in me and learning to cope with everything I do to cope with my journey, has made is into a singular entity focused on me getting healthy and thinner.

My wife's name is hope and she lives up to that in every way for me.

P.S. It is easier to get close to someone when there is not a lot of fat in the way.

Edited January 23, 2015 by Stevehud

[chanst67 3]

It has been 2 years since having RNY and let me tell you, my relationship with my husband has improved like I never would have imagined!!! We have always had a great relationship, but since having surgery he cannot get enough of me!!! He always reaches out to touch or hug me. I am so much happier now. I have so much self confidence and energy and it shows in all aspects of my life. I am now able to get on the back of his motorcycle and we go on dates all the time. We even have a special Valentine's motorcycle date planned. Having surgery was the best decision I ever made. My husband is my number one supporter. We are inseparable!!!

[Vanessa G 22]

My got worse before it got better. Maybe a bit of jealousy or not knowing how to approach the new me. The MGB made me want it more but the more I wanted it the less I got it. After a talk with hubby, things got better. Skin starting to sag from weight loss but I have more energy and confidence than ever.

[Alex Brecher 10,484]

We received an entry via our Facebook page from Larisa Smith

As the wife of the now thinner man...life is Fabulous! And this is why-- I am so grateful that he put his health as a priority which made us, his family feel like a priority. It is so nice knowing that we were worth this drastic measure so that he will be around so much longer while healthier and happier.Justin is the most wonderful husband/father/friend regardless of size but yay for those of us who get to keep him around for many more years to come now."

[Vermardou 1]

My weight loss surgery has improved my relationship with myself, I feel better in such makes me better in life.

[kat77 63]

For me, it has strained my marriage, but ultimately improved it. I have had a lot of complications and many hospital stays. Twisted bowels, blackouts, fainting etc... My husband has been having to do so much more. I'm underweight now. 5'9 and in a size 0 tall...I like that he can pick me up in his arms, but health wise I am afraid I'm very frail and weak. I think though if I could just get stronger, we will be at a really great place in our marriage. I think God has used all our struggles to help him be a stronger leader and help me to trust him to take care of me. Happy Valentine's Day to you all.