I have no idea what it’s like to be “normal” size, and I’m getting kinda scared about it. I don’t know why, and it seems really dumb to me, but now that I’m so close to my surgery date and losing like crazy on this liquid pre-op diet, the possibility of being “normal” sized is becoming more real to me. I can already see a change in my face and my body, and it’s kind of freaking me out.

I have never been anywhere close to ideal weight. Even in my preschool photos, I was very chubby. I remember even in elementary school having to shop in the plus section. I’m guessing my most “normal” weight was in 9th grade I was about 200lbs, but still, that was very overweight, I wore size 18/20.

So, anyone else in my boat, never been at a healthy weight? Anyone else nervous? Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited about being able to do things I haven’t been able to in a long time, like ride things at the amusement park, and things I’ve never been able to do like go on a plane without the extender, or buy clothes without having to go to Lane Bryant or Fashion Bug. Hell, for a while I couldn’t even shop at those places because I was too big, nearly 400lbs and had to shop at Catherines or buy clothes online! I should be down right excited, and I am, but, at the same time something about the whole thing has got me nervous.

I had a small period in my life when I was thin-ish, from like age 27-30 and can't wait to have that 'freedom' again!

But I just wanted to tell you that when I read your post I just become so excited for you and truely pray the best for you and your journey!

Thank you soooo much! That means a lot. I am so glad I found this forum...it's nice to know that I am not alone in this and all the weird feelings I have! I have support from my family, but it just helps to "talk" to people who are or have gone through this as well.

Same here. The last time I was "tiny," I was in the second grade. I've always been chubby because of big hips, thighs, and breasts, so I expect the closest I'll get to "normal" for me is about a size 14 or 16.

I'm more scared that I won't lose any weight at all.

Same here. I just seemed to have skipped passed the single digit sizes:tongue2: I, too, get nervous at times (and my husband really nervous as he is plus sized) wondering how a smaller me is going to change things. As with any change, their is a grief period--your mourn what you are losing. You will get pass this feeling as you begin to Celebrate more of what your gaining by losing. This website is great--it helps everyone to hang in there. You are doing the right thing. (I just pep-talked myself lol)

Edited December 15, 200916 yr by shadst8

I am nervous too...I have always been overweight and it feels normal to me...I hope to adjust the new "me" O.K. My surgery is in 10 days and I am most nervous about missing foods...not being able to eat normally. Most of what I read talks about what it is like post op but not what LIFE is going to be like afterwards...my extended family is trying to talk me out of it and have me cancel my date but I don't know...HELP!

OMG... you sound so much like myself! the smallest I have ever been is 150 lbs and amazingly a size 10/12. THAT was as a Sr in high school after I dropped almost 85 lbs just to "look good" in a prom dress! UGH then I almost didn't even go to the prom! Now, 28 years later I am at the heaviest I have ever been and 28 days away from surgery. I am so scared I am going to fail. I mean, face it, I love to eat. I'm already trying to plan what I will be able to have in the mushy stage. and for lunch today I had mashed potatoes and gravy! LOL! Well the 150 lb mark is my ultimate goal after banding... Here's hoping I don't chicken out/fail!

i have lost weight and gone down to normal size and it was the so uncomfortable for me that i sabotaged myself until i gained it all back and then some. its one of the many challenges we as people who have been overweight most of their lives face. i'm hoping that this time i will get it right and give myself the time to adjust to my new body best of luck to you. fyi i am in the early stages of the process.

oh boy you took the words right out of my mouth. I swear I was born plus size! LOL I just went striaght to a size 20 and then after I had my son I just kept getting a little bigger then in the last 3 years I gain like 75 lbs. Ugh.

But I agree, I'm afraid of who this new person will be. I've known some people who once they lost a huge amount of weight, they changed completely. They weren't the same people. Their taste in clothing changed dramaticly! I know this will happen to me. I tell my spouse all the time, "the only way I dress school marmish is because that's all I can fit into". I really like quirky/vintage clothing and I can not wait to fit into that stuff. I told myself that I'll just transpose my addiction of food to clothes! =)

Don't worry liz.rochelle you'll be just fine. Don't ignore your fears, process them! Chew on those feelings. You can't stuff them anymore so you have to spend sometime thinking about it. That way you don't find another habit/addiction to stuff your feelings.

You're going to do just great!

I can see it...I can totally see it now! I think I found my new addiction....music (well that's always been an addiction) and my treadmill! :thumbup:

Been working out like crazy the past few days and I can actually see muscles! And last night I totally envisioned me on my treadmill joggin in some fitted workout gear..nice and curvy and toned! Maybe a far stretch, but dagnabit I saw me! I don't want to just be skinny, I want to be healthy and fit! I'm not scared anymore....I'm excited, elated...whew!!!

Let's do it!!!! :ohmy:

Congratulations!!! That is amazing.

My 60 year old Grandma had gastric bypass surgery done over a year ago...in talking with her this past weekend (with my surgery only 3 days away) she said, "You won't even know what to do with this new body you'll have." In the background? My Grandpa says, "Maybe not, but your boyfriend will!" That's the giggle in life worth waiting for...and all the motivation I need to stick to this pre-op diet!

I think that Sue is right. Why not focus on the non-appearance related things about your weight loss that you will enjoy...feeling better, buying clothes in a normal store (not important the exact size or how you look in them, just that you CAN!), not worrying every morning when you wake up how you are going to manage your portions of food for the day...

My surgery is on the 15th, and it occured to me yesterday morning that I will someday soon never wake up again and worry about how I was going to lose all of my weight. I am no longer doomed to being fat with a miserable weight loss battle ahead of me for the rest of my life. THAT was the best feeling in the world--I will now have a tool that will help me be satisfied with the right choices and the right portions. I am thrilled.

I think I have the opposite problem--though I've been obese for many, many years, I don't really see myself realistically. As a young adult, my weight was in the 115-pound range, and though I know I'm not there any more, I seem to "think" I'm somewhere between that weight and where I really am.

I remember so well how great it felt to be thin. I can't wait to get back to that feeling of freedom.

On the other hand, I also know that there is something that caused me to don this cloak of insulation/invisibility that comes with fat--and shedding it really is, in a way, quite scary. (I know what caused it---and I do think I'm ready to do it....but I have a therapist on standby just in case!)

I recently shared with one of my clients that I had WLS. She told me she did too 25 years ago. She had her stomach stapled. She has always seemed pretty round to me but not huge. She went on to tell me that she lost down to 120 lbs with in a year after her surgery but was not comfortable there at all. She said she scared herself everytime she looked in the mirror. She has still kept off over 100lbs for that 25 years, but she did not like being thin. She does not know why either. I thought her story was very interesting. Those of you who find yourself there, may want to see about some counselling to see if you can work it out. I am hoping to just enjoy myself at my goal weight, but you know, if I find myself not liking it, I will beat it to the counselors office. I don't want to waste my money!! I was self pay and it will take me a few years to get it paid for.

I haven't read all of the other responses, so I may be re-stating thing that have already been said....BUT it is scary....like you, I was always big, chubby, husky, thick, fat, whatever you want to call it....it was 'normal' for me.

I've gone from a size 20 to a size 8 (sometimes 6) in a little under two years. It's been a lot of work and so the change is something that I really feel like I've EARNED.

There are things about it that are still surreal to me....I catch myself in a reflection of a store window and it doesn't seem like me.....BUT, I feel so much better physically.

Emotionally, it has given me a different kind of confidence. I have always been a very self-assured person, but it's different now, I feel like my outside comes closer to matching my inside. When someone tells me I look good, I believe them instead of thinking they're just saying it to be nice.....

I'm babbling, but the bottom line is that it's a gift you give yourself.....a gift of health, a gift of confidence, a gift of a different kind of beauty, just the feeling of getting out of bed in the morning is better....my feet don't hurt, my knees don't hurt, my hips don't hurt....

Life is good, go get it!

Oh this is SO my story! I just had to meet with my therapist on Monday about this. With my surgery looming so close (I get banded this coming Monday the 11th) a thought ran through my mind....what if it REALLY works..ALL THE WAY THIS TIME. I like everyone else has lost some weight over a dozen times. But to take it all the way and get to a healthy "normal" weight...NO WAY. I don't know why this is scarey but it is. Since I was 16 I've been over 200 pounds. I don't have an obvious reason why I've kept the weight sheild on like some have said so I don't know why...but I am terrified. On the other hand being a newer mom to 2 adopted children I am also terrified that it won't work. So I am quite the mess over here.

But I thank you for posting this and for all the thoughtful compassionate replies that you have received. I am going into this with my eyes wide open and will deal with those feelings if and when they come. No sense in worrying about it now!

Good luck to ALL and God Bless!

I've always been heavy and NEVER been able to just walk into a store, any store and buy what I want...I'm going to have to really really watch myself or I'm going to go crazy and spend a fortune on clothes when I get down to the "normal" sizes...I thank God for Lane Bryant but can't wait to NEVER GO THERE AGAIN!!!!!

If you would have asked me a month ago I would have said surgery I would like to have tomorrow. After a few days of internet research I am getting nervous. I think because my consultation is next week. I want the success but if I fail it will be me and my own downfalls not the food. i too am very nervous about seeing the me without the excuses. I am excited to think of clothes that fit and not hang over my body. This is the first time in as long as I can remember that I am putting myself first. I need to do this for me. Hopefully the insurance will cover it.