Hi everyone,

I haven't been here in a long time but wanted to reconnect with you guys :scared2: I'm getting ready to finish my journey.

I'm getting cosmetic surgery in 5 weeks. I can't wrap my head around it. I've wanted this for so long, but yet, having the band for 5 years, I seem to be doing everything in my power to sabotage myself from being lean. My band is leaking - we think it's the port - and there have been a lot of bumps along the way that has stalled, reversed, and slowed down my weight loss.

I'm not mad about it; my journey has been unique. I can't even begin to describe the things I have learned about myself. It all unfolded the way it should have, I suppose.

But, just when the surgery was most out of reach - I'd gotten laid off - miracles happened and now I'm not only having my leaking port/tube fixed, I'm getting everything done, by one of the top cosmetic surgeons for post bariatric weight loss, two weeks before my 34th birthday. What an amazing turn of events.

I'm scheduled for a body lift, breast lift, brachioplasty (arms) and flankplasty. The only thing he's not doing is my thighs because they don't need it. Yet. lol. They're also replacing my port to a low profile one. Dr. Joseph Capella in Hackensack Medical is my guy. I researched tons of surgeons - this dude is mine.

All this, and I am still clinically overweight. I am shaking my head at the irony of it all.

Yet, why not? My leaking lap band is getting costly for twice-a-month fills. I have no local support group and live alone, so solitary eating is the biggest culprit. Getting the lap band fixed will help me in January shed the last 30 lbs of fat, and work on my lean muscle building.

I suspect that having the surgery will drastically change my relationship with food -- by having beautiful, reliable restriction that helped me lose 100lbs a few years ago (and mercifully helped me totally forget about food) and will give me a shot to my self esteem that has been sabotaging me.

I know it's purely psychological, but I would work SO HARD, and work out, and track my food...especially over the summer...and start losing..10 lbs, 15 lbs...but I would look in the mirror at the "frownie moustache" of my stretched belly, suck it in, ALMOST see a normal shape...and then become depressed knowing that nothing I did would ever fix 30 years of being obese. Then, I would stop trying.

I have loved watching my fellow bandsters go through the surgeries and can think of nobody better to share it with.

Dec 7th is the date. Oh my gosh :thumbup:

Kate

Happy New Year, Kate. My wish for your NY is that the swelling leaves quickly.

Mimi

Thank you Mimi! You too :biggrin:

Fanny, I have to thank you for the recommendation of Magnesium. I haven't gotten any yet but as a proud Nerd I started reading up on Magnesium. I found some sites that discuss other symptoms of Magnesium deficiency and I definitely show multiple symptoms!

For example:

- Restlessness

- Muscle cramp (had a foot cramp last night!)

- Jolts and stings (been having those a lot since surgery, thought it was my nerves waking back up or reconnecting but they are startlingly painful)

- Itchy skin

- Light sensitivity (oncoming headlights at night really bother me)

- Loud noises!!! I have had this weird problem all my life...Figured it was just a sensitivity...a quiet room and a sudden sharp noise causes physical pain and gets me irrationally angry. But if I'm at a concert or something it's not a problem

And to a lesser degree:

- Heart palpitations (had these all my life, not tied to caffeine per se, usually shows up with morphine)

- Heart arrhythmia (been measured, they said it wasn't a big deal but keep an eye on it)

I am soooo excited to get some supplements today. I'm going to take an epsom salt bath tonight and see if it improves my sleeping. Also I can see my diet has not been supporting my Magnesium intake. I have suspicions that this might be the cause my my inability to sleep and tortously itchy recovery.

In other news, I did sleep marginally better last night...still woke up with a foot cramp and 2 incidents of itchy restlessness.

There is also a Magnesium spray on oil which people swear by. It also acts as a light anti-perspirant/deodorant which might be perfect for me, as I don't really sweat anymore but there IS a light odor. Not sure if it's the wounds still closing or if I'm just not used to my natural armpits LOL. I don't think it's bad, it just has a....body scent. Weird eh?

Now I'm totally excited to check this out. Will keep you all posted.

Happy 2010 everyone!

Happy New Year Kate!

The scar pics look very good. They are healing nicely. HOpe the magnesium helps you. Foot cramps are the worse. I stay cold all the time too. I don't get leg cramps as often as I used to, but they seem to come on during that time of month.

Have a wonderful day!

everyone raves about your pics, i dont see them

Free Spirit,

Here pics are on Make me heal website. Page 6 of this thread has the link and password.

i am a member there too. freespirit63

i posted a comment on MMH. Great results!!!!

I really hope the Magnesium helps. I have suffered from night cramps in my legs and feet and restless legs for years and years and only discovered Magnesium a couple of years back. It has really helped! I don't take them every night (although I probably should) but whenever I wake up with that horrible urge to lie on the bed and do "bicycle pumps" with my legs till they hurt, I take one and the feeling goes within about 20 mins. I found that was hitting me a LOT more during this recovery time and I have been taking the tablets most nights since the op and it has really helped.

freespirit - thank you! I can't wait to take week 4 pics. A lot of my scars are flattening out on my arms and such.

Fanny - I took 400 mg of Magnesium last night, soaked in an epsom salt bath, still had a HORRIBLE night of sleep. I'm having more phantom itching now than ever. I will take 400 at lunch and another 400 at dinner and see if that helps. I also have a magnesium oil spray coming ...I hear it's good for your underarms, which will be great for me since I barely have any glands left and have too much scarring to put deodorant on effectively, lol.

I guess I'm now in Harcore Healing Phase. My left breast, which is healing slower than the right, has been itching SO effing much I thought I was gonna scream. I moisturize every night and the underside skin is still dehydrated. The nipple apparently has a little hole in the areola which is healing from the inside out. Hope it doesn't leave a big scar, but whatever :blushing: That sucker has been torturing me.

The other healing drama is the LBL scar. These phantom itches are no joke. Right now, sitting here, I feel both hips itching like MAD, and when I put my hand on the scar, I feel nothing. The itch isn't satisfied, still itches, and I can't feel anything yet. Although some of the nerve endings are coming back, it is truly frustrating. Last night I was up every 15 minutes walking around, so exhausted yet my body would NOT relax and sleep. Eventually I took off all my clothes at 5 am and slept til 8:30. I don't know what to do. I'm so tired all day, getting grumpy, weepy...I have not slept more than 3 hours at a time since surgery a month ago.

Hopefully the magnesium needs time to kick in.

In other news, sneezing and coughing are almost pain free, just a little sore now but totally tolerable. My armpits are 95% healed and I have 95% stretching. It's great to flip over in bed and have no pain or stretching feeling. The arm scars have been itching, too, but not terribly.

If Magnesium doesn't work tonight I will try Benadryl tomorrow. I take 2 - 3 hot baths a day which does help the feeling.

So close to the end...gotta hang in there...it will end...

OH some good news, cause I can't complain without giving some good news. I can see some Fluid draining from my rib area. Today in the mirror I saw the first tiniest evidence of a waist on the left side. Right side still tubey, but I sleep on that side. Also my belly doesn't feel as rigid, and I could suck in my belly a little bit and see the skin hanging onto the muscles, you know? Trying to suck in my abs the first three weeks post op had zero effect...I guess they're growing together now!

Finally, a midline has appeared. by that I mean, if you were to have a solid 6 pack of abs, you'd have a line from your breastbone to your belly button...the natural cleft in your abs. I have one now :thumbup: Everything's slowly starting to tighten up, it's looking more natural. And I still have 2 months to go!

That's it for now...gonna go look at my bed and wonder when we will be happy again. LOL.

kate

Hey Kate - Sorry you are having such trouble with itching. I just had a tummy tuck and breast lift on 12/17, and I am also having a lot of itching. My doctor suggest an antihistamine, so I have been taking benadryl, it seams to help. Hope you get some relief soon!

I hope the Magnesium helps soon, you sound like you're in a bad way. I've been having some incredibly frustrating itching going on too. Where the LBL incision goes over my hip bones, I get a horrible itching deep inside, like ants crawling over the bone and no amount of rubbing or pressing on the outsides seems to get to the itch.

My boobs are also driving me mad with itching! I've tried lots of different creams, including several that I swore by in the past (e.g. pawpaw cream) but the only one that has given me any relief has been a steroid cream - Dermaid 1% hydrocortisone. It doesn't fix the problem entirely but does dull it down more than anything else I've used.

With the restless sleep, that's my normal pattern anyway. I rarely sleep for more than 3 hours at a time normally, so not much has changed since the op. I usually get up every 2-3 hours throughout the night, go to the loo, play on the computer for half an hour and then go back to bed.

Still, as my mother (and Hans Christian Andersen) would say: We must suffer to be beautiful! LOL!

Fanny, you're amazing. I can't survive without a solid 7 hours :smile2: How do you do it??

We have a winner. Benadryl helped me sleep a good 5 hours last night, then I was up again around 5 am. I have a hair appointment at 9 so I didn't take another dose. BUt I assure you, as soon as I'm back in my house by lunch I am taking another dose and sleeping again.

I was starting to lose my mind there. LOL. And Fanny thanks for the hydrocortisone tip...I'm going to put some on my under-bewb stitches, which are itchy, and see if it helps.

Wow ohh Kate I am sorry you are sooo itchy. I thankfully haven't had that issue. It must drive you crazy being itchy but unable to satisfy it. I would be punching people lol. I am glad the benadryl is helping!

LOL! My partner, Chris, says he's never known anyone who can survive on as little sleep as I do. I work away on the mines and am always up by 4:45am when at work, so if I make 5:30am at home, that's a real sleep in. I'm usually in bed by 10pm but will be up again between 12 and 1 for a half hour and then again at around 3am. I never used to be a morning person but my whole body clock changed when I started mine work and I am now bouncing off the walls with energy between 5 and 9am (and usually ready for a nap again at 9:30, LOL!). My energy levels have tripled also, since I lost the weight - in fact, that's probably been the best NSV of them all.

Kate,

Glad the benedryl helped. I'm grateful I didn't suffer with itching. I'm right with you. I need my beauty sleep 8hrs.