Hi everyone,

I haven't been here in a long time but wanted to reconnect with you guys :scared2: I'm getting ready to finish my journey.

I'm getting cosmetic surgery in 5 weeks. I can't wrap my head around it. I've wanted this for so long, but yet, having the band for 5 years, I seem to be doing everything in my power to sabotage myself from being lean. My band is leaking - we think it's the port - and there have been a lot of bumps along the way that has stalled, reversed, and slowed down my weight loss.

I'm not mad about it; my journey has been unique. I can't even begin to describe the things I have learned about myself. It all unfolded the way it should have, I suppose.

But, just when the surgery was most out of reach - I'd gotten laid off - miracles happened and now I'm not only having my leaking port/tube fixed, I'm getting everything done, by one of the top cosmetic surgeons for post bariatric weight loss, two weeks before my 34th birthday. What an amazing turn of events.

I'm scheduled for a body lift, breast lift, brachioplasty (arms) and flankplasty. The only thing he's not doing is my thighs because they don't need it. Yet. lol. They're also replacing my port to a low profile one. Dr. Joseph Capella in Hackensack Medical is my guy. I researched tons of surgeons - this dude is mine.

All this, and I am still clinically overweight. I am shaking my head at the irony of it all.

Yet, why not? My leaking lap band is getting costly for twice-a-month fills. I have no local support group and live alone, so solitary eating is the biggest culprit. Getting the lap band fixed will help me in January shed the last 30 lbs of fat, and work on my lean muscle building.

I suspect that having the surgery will drastically change my relationship with food -- by having beautiful, reliable restriction that helped me lose 100lbs a few years ago (and mercifully helped me totally forget about food) and will give me a shot to my self esteem that has been sabotaging me.

I know it's purely psychological, but I would work SO HARD, and work out, and track my food...especially over the summer...and start losing..10 lbs, 15 lbs...but I would look in the mirror at the "frownie moustache" of my stretched belly, suck it in, ALMOST see a normal shape...and then become depressed knowing that nothing I did would ever fix 30 years of being obese. Then, I would stop trying.

I have loved watching my fellow bandsters go through the surgeries and can think of nobody better to share it with.

Dec 7th is the date. Oh my gosh :thumbup:

Kate

So awesome to hear Kate! The meds thing, just to let you know, I had to go off of them, I went through like 65 percocets in 4 days. I knew I would be overusing them. I have a very addictive personality, I used to smoke and smoked 2-3 packs a day, I had a serious over eating problem and now I am smoke free but still struggle with my eating issues. So I made myself go off of them early. I don't think going off of them early is a great idea but for me I had too. So please don't feel like you are on them longer than most. I am just a nut case lol.

I am glad your drains weren't to bad coming out! Hey we are not that far from one another. We should try to meet at some point. Maybe this summer we can meet in NY. We are huge Yankees fan's and go to alot of the games. OK really my hubby is a huge Yankee fan and I am a huge hubby fan so I go.

I hope you don't try to go home to early.. I still need help with things like unloading the bottom of the dishwasher, transfering clothes from washer to dryer.. doc says no picking up anything heavier than 2 pounds. Really you know how many things weigh more than 2 pounds! But my left boob is proof you can do to much to soon. You don't want a black and green boob! So enjoy this time as you recover.. I try and think of it as my me time.. IM REALLY SICK OF ME TIME lol.. xoxo

Kate, I am delighted you are doing so well and 2 of the drains are gone!!! Keep healing...I like the idea of you taking the train better than driving!!!!.

Allie, it sounds like you are doing great, too.

You are both very inspirational!!!!

Mimi

Kate,

Glad you had some relief with the constipation. That is the worse feeling. The train does sound like a good idea. Christmas traffic will be tough. I'm so happy you are recovering well. You did have more work done than me too, so stay on your meds as long as you need them and stay with mom to help as long as you can. You don't want to over due it.

Happy Birthday Kate!!! What a great gift a new you!!!!

Happy Birthday, indeed, and many more with your hot new bod!!!!

Mimi

Hi ladies, here's an update

I'm driving and home and independent again, much to the surprise of my docs. They told me most people who get what I got done are down and out for 2-3 weeks, apparently I am progressing fast. I was thinking if you didn't expect me to be mobile then why only 5 days of percocets?! Hmpf. Would have been NICE to know I could have taken it easier...I pushed myself.

I tried to take some pics but I am so swollen still, it's just kind of depressing now. lol. My right side is healing faster than the left, my right breast and arm stitches are healthy and pink and flattening out...the left side is like 4 days behind. It's crazy.

I am still draining significantly from my first two drain holes. The doc says I may have some seromas, or clogged drains. possibly both. But I can't get up to see them til Christmas Eve, so, four more days of these horrid drains I can't wait to get out!!

I have had a little separation in my armpits...docs say it's incredibly common and always heals. Just creepy to see a hole there...but I'm not in pain. The tightness in my arms has lessened and I'm not restricted...I can carry groceries, drive, dress myself, walk the dog. I'm not sure if I'm doing more than I should, but I can so I do. lol.

The one thing I'm bummed about is that the docs are leaning on me to NOT lose more weight. They said no more than 10 lbs in the next 3 months. And then maybe no more than another 10 total...I'm sure its cause it will affect my results, maybe my bewbs will get a little droopier again but it will never be what it was pre-surgery. I just don't like the prospect of staying 180 lbs. That wasn't the plan when I got my band fixed...I want to get fit and help other people, be athletic...but I'm going to just relax over it and see how things pan out. maybe I'll be happy, maybe I won't...but I am definitely happy with what I have now. the biggest thing I like is watching my biceps, triceps and delts move when I do something silly like pick up my purse or pet the cat. It's the way it's supposed to be, it makes me feel more connected to my body, you know? To be able to see normal stuff like my muscles moving. Heh. I would love to see what happens to my flat belly when I lose more weight and develop my abs...will I get a waist?? These things I want to know.

Sure hope Aunt Flo holds off til I can get the drains out...Not wearing underwear is not conducive to Girl Time. LOL.

OK that's all I got...gonna try to sleep, I went down in a 2.5 hour nap today out of nowhere.

Kate, thank you for the update. I feel like we are along for the ride. You sound both upbeat and a trifle depressed. Thanks for the warning about the armpit, that is encouraging. What are you doing about deoderant? Shaving?

I hope your monthly waits, too!!!!! Just what you don't need.

Sorry about the warning to not lose much more wt and none soon.

Best possible wishes,

Mimi

Hey there Kate!

Girl you are amazing! Don't overdo it! I have the same thing one boob is healing faster than the other. I had some internal stitches pop on one which caused it but it is frustrating. The swelling will go down, it just takes time. I hear you on the drains.. I hated them! I hated not being able to wear panties, I really hope your . waits to come. I can't believe you are doing so much by yourself! There is nooo way I could. I am a month out and still have trouble with certain things. I think since I did damage to boob already I am overly cautious about following docs orders. I was told not to even lift a gallon of milk. Not to do laundry, not to pick up things off of the floor, not to put my hands over my head for 10 weeks. gahh! I originally thought it was 6 weeks but when i went and got my stitches out he said no 10 weeks!!! I wish you much luck on getting your drains out! I feel the same about pics, i love how i look but am not ready to show it all yet .. when i was all drugged up i didn't care.. now i do lol. xoxo

I wonder why things are so different for me. I had my drains out on the 2nd day and my doc has said "take it easy for the next couple of weeks" but none of those strict restrictions.

Kate,

Sorry about the separation. I'm sure it will heal fine. Take it easy. Even though you feel well enough to do stuff, you are healing. I had same issues with right side healing slower. I think because I'm right handed and was using it more so stayed swollen longer. You will be surprised how with time, things will start looking different. For me each day is different. I still feel a lot of stretching feeling. Dont be discouraged. Your results will be fabulous. You had a lot of work done and really just need to concentrate on healing properly. I have 10 weeks restriction and haven't even thought about walking and doing more than dusting. I'm sure I can but know I shouldn't.

I'm sure the PS doesn't want you loosing more weight because it will change the results, like you said. I think you should do what you need, to be comfortable with yourself. I wasn't at goal. I'm happy with decision, but knew I needed to have realistic expectations. I don't have the curvy waist yet or see a six pack (or even a 2pack) but hope if I loose down then I will see more. I'm super excited to be flat and not have that lower gut bulge in my pants. Like me, you went in knowing you wanted to loose more and that things would change if you lost more. If you can be happy with that than so be it.

The drains can be a pain but they do serve a purpose. Better to be in longer than build up Fluid. I hope you don't have a seroma. Hopefully aunt flo wont come until you get em out. As far as pics, we'd love to see but totally understand you need to be comfortable. I took pics more for me because I wanted to see my progress. If they helped someone then I'm glad they did. Everybody is different and will heal differently.

Hang in there doll. The swelling will go down. For me it was week 4 when I could fit in my normal clothes better. Still have swelling and some tenderness and this will be wk6. My Dr. said it will last up to 8 mos for the last residual. I thought that was crazy but he's the expert.

You are an incredible lady. Take it one day at a time.

Hi ladies...yeah wow, it all came crushing down on me today. I'm having trouble keeping up with my life ... I'm not sleeping well (up every 3 hours to pee, uncomfortable, etc as I have no meds) and the simple act of showering, dressing myself, grooming, feeding and walking the dog only long enough for her to pee is draining me by 10 am.

Aunt Flo arrived today and I am dealing with mega cramps, which feel funny because my abdomen is numb, so I can't tell, literally, what the pain is from...could be constipation, ab muscle, a signal to pee....??? LOL. I keep going to the bathroom and am surprised at whatever it is my body needs. It's a guessing game. I try to make it fun.

I managed to get some loose boy shorts on to handle Aunt Flo and some pads...had some misery where it was pulling on my drain's suture...but today I just lost my shit. I lost it. I have been bawling all day, by myself, enjoying my misery and feeling like I'm on the edge. letting it all out...I'm sure it's partly my period, partly the aftereffects of surgery, partly the need to drain more Fluid, and a lot o it is just being freaking fed up with EVERY move and breath I take being accompanied by pain and struggle. It's not terrible, it's not debilitating, but every simple thing I try to do is just a fight. I feel like I've been fighting since I woke up from surgery and push-push-pushing. So, I had a number of ridiculous big crying episodes today and was glad nobody was around to witness it. On top of all this stress, my dad, who I work for, has not paid me in 2 weeks and it caused a money jam. He was not open to talking about paying me (his company's in trouble) and now I'm starting to wonder how the hell I'm going to survive. Just feels like it all clobbered me at once, today.

It got a little funny tonight after dinner when I thought I was recovered and I realized I was watching Marley&Me and was bawling my EYES out at the death scene of the dog...I was howling "WHY AM I WATCHING THIS TODDAAAAYYYYY"...kind of funny :tongue:

But let's look at the positives. First, it truly is easier to walk around every day, my pain and tightness has lessened. My arms don't feel quiiiite as creepy, or tingly-sore-weird to the touch, my bewbs of course are rocking the hotness, things ARE healing every day.

I'm also finally done with the Lovenox injections. They were making me considerably nauseous and eating was just out of the question this week.

I went into the hospital at 216, this morning I weighed 200. Even with my swelling I'm still dropping weight, I'm sure I'm technically already in the 190s. My face is looking thinner, and I still am in love with the proportions of my shoulders, the slope of my bewbs, the thinner-ness of my arms. I have pranced carefully once or twice topless in the bathroom mirror. I am sooo looking forward to going clothes shopping, even for an interim outfit. If I get home soon enough on Xmas eve I will brave some stores and try on clothes. Why not? I need an outfit for Christmas, maybe it's the spirit lift I need.

Fanny, I'm not sure why it's different. I got a full belt lipectomy...they took off a significant amount of skin (13 lbs) and I definitely skated the line trying to recover from the loss of blood volume, praps that is delaying my recovery? Plus you were (smart) in the hospital for a week, I bet they kept your blood volume up with the liquids. How has your swelling been?

Skinnyjeans - Yeah I'm doing everything. Tomorrow I really need to vacuum, dust, do some web design, change the sheets on my bed...and I'm probably going to get some coffee and sit down at my computer and see if I can afford to have a maid service come in to clean my place.

Another great thing is that I did have the foresight to hire a service to come in and run the dog. Today a marathon runner showed up to kick my dog's ass. It was her first run...and she did reallly well. She came back in smiling like I've never seen her smile, so I have them lined up for a few days this week to help keep the dog tired so I don't have to walk her as much.

Allie, I wonder if your lifting restrictions are cause of your implants? I don't have implants to the bewb healing has been uneventful. With the exception of a stray stitch poking out of my nipple, they're fine. they don't hurt in the least and the swelling has gone down. I definitely have not gotten any policies about lifting stuff, they just want me to take it easy on the pulling of the stitches. It's not hard...I can tell the difference when a certain motion uses my muscles, or if it uses my skin, you know?

OK ladies. I hope I'm all cried out and wake up feeling awesome tomorrow. Tomorrow is the last day of having these drains in...then Thursday I'm driving for FREEDOM.

Thanks for listening to all the whining. The good, the bad, the ugly...this is reality I guess :biggrin: I am soooo SOOOOOSOOOSOSOSOSOSOSOOOOO glad the majority of the pain is over. There were a few days there where I could hear a tiny voice going "what the HELL HAVE WE DONE?" But I'm glad I did it all at once, I'm glad I had no concept of how uncomfortable I was going to be, cause, yeah I prolly would not have done it unless I had someone living with me to care for me. I'm a little miffed at the doctors for not adequately preparing me for this, especially when I asked them on multiple occasions what my concerns were.

So I have about 2 - 4 more weeks til the stitches in my arms and bewbs start popping and losing their strength. Can't wait to ogle my bewbs. Another 6 weeks til the belly stitches are gone and it starts to flatten. OH! Did I mention I like my belly button? It doesn't look all perfectly circular and fake, looks pretty good.

OK I think I have exhausted myself out. Will try to sleep now.

Kate

Kate, thank you for the update. I feel like we are along for the ride. You sound both upbeat and a trifle depressed. Thanks for the warning about the armpit, that is encouraging. What are you doing about deoderant? Shaving?

I hope your monthly waits, too!!!!! Just what you don't need.

Sorry about the warning to not lose much more wt and none soon.

Best possible wishes,

Mimi

Hi mimi - lol I have NO IDEA how I'm supposed to deal with the armpit hair right now. They actually made my armpit smaller. They took out a bunch of sweat glands and told me I prolly won't need anti-perspirant anymore. Or need to shave. But I have a very, very thin line of hair growing next to my scar. I'm not touching it right now, just gonna let it go all Tina Turner if it has to. Maybe I can look into a medspa to remove that hair permanently. I can't imagine shaving the scar area and feeling remotely good about it!

Docs said if anything, I might want to use deodorant, but I won't be sweating from mah pits anymore. Total bonus.

So right now I'm totally granola. No makeup, no deodorant, no shaving, no bra, no underwear. I am as trampy as ever. lol. I did my hair once and I was pooped for two hours afterwards...so I let it air dry curly and hideous. Oh well :tongue: I'm healing. who cares.

Hey Kate, well just to let you know you are not alone.. I have had quite a few "crying" episodes. Just feeling overwhelmed. I think going through everything is just soooo much physically and emotionally. Plus you are doing it on your own. You are a very brave lady. As you said every day is and will be better. I can tell you once the drains are out you will feel sooo much better. They are such a hinderance. They made me feel so blecky. Just having them down there really was a pain in the @ss. I hope you wake up tomorrow to a much better day. My thoughts and prayers are with you girl xoox

Kate,

You have been through a lot. A good cry is allright. I hope you get some much needed rest. I had a few moments too when I thought what have I done. It will improve. OMG, if you don't have to vacuum and change sheets wait. That is a lot to do. I wish I could be there to help you..

I pray tomorrow is a painfree day for you and a day to celebrate the drains removed.

Take Care

Kate,

I haven't been on LBT for months. I've been reading about your surgery. On January 8th, I'm having a some lipo and a small revision of my LBL and BL from last year. Reading all the posts does bring back memories! I went back to work after 2 weeks. I was extremely tired that first week. I also seemed to be in more pain and had more swelling that week.

Being emotion at this point in your recovery is not unusual. If you are out of pain meds, you might want to ask for another Rx to have on hand when you go back to work. Hopefully you won't need it. My doc had no problem writing another. I only needed a few more and didn't use the rest. Just a thought since you are about to see your doctor.

Also if you do find time to shop after your appointment, I suggest only one or two outfits and as inexpensive as possible. In a week or 2, they will be too big. I loved that, but hated that I had waisted money on things I couldn't wear more than a couple weeks. I would have waited had I known, but I didn't know how much swelling was still there. It's just hard to get a concept when things are already so much improved.

I had to have my lapband replaced earlier this year. I've been struggling to get back to good restriction since. I was in bed sick the last 2 days and missed a fill appointment that I really needed. Now I have to wait until February for another appointment. I thought about postponing the lipo and revision longer, but my plastic surgeon thinks I am at a good place for this and I really need to see some change.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I promise you won't remember the pain for long. You will be moving about and enjoying life like never before. You'll have a new bounce in each step!

Wishing you a speedy recovery,

Kelly