Hello, I'm getting a surgery date on Nov. 2nd & I've decided not to tell anyone, except my husband, that I am getting the band. I came to this decision because of the negative people I have in my life. I needed a babysitter when I went for my psych. eval & then again when I met with the nutritionist. I told my friends/family that I was seeing a nutritionist to help me with weight loss. Had I known that this would cause negative responses I would have just shut my mouth. I heard things like "You were thin when you were younger, you already know how to lose weight"., "All you need to do is eat less & exercise"., "How many times are you going to try losing weight? You're hurting yourself by yo-yo dieting". and so on and so on.

(You have to exercise and eat less to lose weight? I had no idea! )

On top of this.. My husband & I had a bon fire at our house with a few close friends & family. Someone brought up the issue of weight loss & how a girl at work had the bypass done. They were saying how she took the easy way out & that it isn't fair to the people who need to lose 20 pounds and have to work it off.... How someone can just say cut me open and make me skinny. And our insurance goes up because these people want to be skinny.. and so on.

Well.. I couldn't believe what these sweet, kind hearted & caring people said about this poor lady. I was shocked that they could be so ignorant. That this lady wants to be healthy and the insurance could be paying for a hell of a lot more if she didn't have the surgery done. Thank GOD I didn't tell them that I was thinking of getting the lapband.

I am 5'5 and weight about 235. I have had surgery on my back 3 times with a spinal fusion, a bone graft on my hip and a intrathecal pump implanted in my tummy that goes to my back. It's very hard for me to exercise, so I have a harder time losing weight. This is one of my main reasons for wanting the lapband. I want to use the tool to help me, since I can't exercise that much.

In the end of this long winded message (I'm sorry)..

My questions to you are:

Do you regret keeping yourself in the closet?

How did you explain yourself when you couldn't eat a lot or certain foods? What about BP'ing in public?

The liquid phase? or any other related issues.

What type of questions or remarks did people make about your new eating habits?

Last but not least, is there some people who told others and wish they did not.

Thanks you, in advance, for any replies. I'm very curious to see if there are others who feel the way I do about keeping this secret.

*Don't get me wrong, I'm not a shallow person nor am I ashamed of getting the band. I just don't want to be judged or treated differently because I made a decision that will help my health. I don't want to be in a wheel chair so young in life. I'm 34 years old and my doctor told me I have a skeleton of a 60 year old.

I have to admit there have been times when I WISHED that I had just kept my mouth shut. All of my friends are wonderful. In fact most of them have had lapband themselves. It's my husbands family that I wish I hadn't told. They always ask me how much I've lost, etc. and it bothers me. Why, I don't know. It just does. I suppose I feel as though they are just waiting for me to screw this up. But I won't.

For me...I tell everyone! I'm very PROUD of losing 80 pounds. I'm proud that I took a final stand for myself as obesity tends to be a condition that causes so many of us to let people say what they want and treat us however they want. I think there is a small part of me that's just waiting for the day that someone makes nasty little remarks like those you've described, to me. Because I WILL rip them a new one. I'm always amazed at how people can make such remarks when it comes to the obese population. They would NEVER say a thing like that regarding a heart patient, liver transplant patient or cancer patient. Not ever. Not even if the transplant patient was getting a new liver due to extensive drinking, not even if the cancer patient had cancer due to smoking, and not even if the heart patient had the problems due to the fatty foods they eat. They also would never remark to a person who takes maternity leave to have a baby....yet when one does that, the workload falls back on those who must pick up the slack. How fair is that to men or the women who decide not to have kids? If I tried hard enough I could find unfairness in just about everything in life..... But because it's a person who's obese....it's open season on their feelings. Amazing isn't it.

I'de have LOVED to of been at your gathering when all the know it all's chimmed in on this subject.

We all have to decide who or if we will tell people. If your surrounded with negative MEAN, UNCARING, and/or UNEDUCATED people then I wouldn't bother telling them until you can stand up proudly and give them facts as well as food for thought regarding their own shortcomings.

Take care of you and I wish you all the best.

Kay

AKA: Miss Losin' Lot's...80 pounds as of today! I'm thrilled.

My story. I came here, saw the thread, thought about it and decided that i DID NOT WANT anyone knowing about the band, aside from my mother. Well a week passed, two since consultation and i'm on the board more and more and my friend starts making these comments, about weight and people at her work contemplating surgery, and then she's telling me i'm beautiful (she is very sweet) and i come here and make a post "SOMETHING IS WRONG"...more time passes, and more and eventually after asking her boyfriend (my friend) what was the matter she tells me she knows i'm going to have it done. She found out because her boyfriend was doing internet research for his dad and his b/f wife had it done. It is insane how people can still find out. Needless to say my friend said she wished i would reconsider but she would support me either way in my decision and she really has. She even offered to take off of work to take care of me, and come visit me, she went shopping with me while I was on my liquid diet. I LOVE HER SO MUCH, it's so incredible how she can back me up on this even though she doesn't really like it. I say if it is a TRUE FRIEND it might be helpful to tell them, however i didn't tell mine and i just got VERY lucky that she found out, it will make this so much easier.

P.S. I do not intend on telling anyone else.