Hello, I'm getting a surgery date on Nov. 2nd & I've decided not to tell anyone, except my husband, that I am getting the band. I came to this decision because of the negative people I have in my life. I needed a babysitter when I went for my psych. eval & then again when I met with the nutritionist. I told my friends/family that I was seeing a nutritionist to help me with weight loss. Had I known that this would cause negative responses I would have just shut my mouth. I heard things like "You were thin when you were younger, you already know how to lose weight"., "All you need to do is eat less & exercise"., "How many times are you going to try losing weight? You're hurting yourself by yo-yo dieting". and so on and so on.

(You have to exercise and eat less to lose weight? I had no idea! )

On top of this.. My husband & I had a bon fire at our house with a few close friends & family. Someone brought up the issue of weight loss & how a girl at work had the bypass done. They were saying how she took the easy way out & that it isn't fair to the people who need to lose 20 pounds and have to work it off.... How someone can just say cut me open and make me skinny. And our insurance goes up because these people want to be skinny.. and so on.

Well.. I couldn't believe what these sweet, kind hearted & caring people said about this poor lady. I was shocked that they could be so ignorant. That this lady wants to be healthy and the insurance could be paying for a hell of a lot more if she didn't have the surgery done. Thank GOD I didn't tell them that I was thinking of getting the lapband.

I am 5'5 and weight about 235. I have had surgery on my back 3 times with a spinal fusion, a bone graft on my hip and a intrathecal pump implanted in my tummy that goes to my back. It's very hard for me to exercise, so I have a harder time losing weight. This is one of my main reasons for wanting the lapband. I want to use the tool to help me, since I can't exercise that much.

In the end of this long winded message (I'm sorry)..

My questions to you are:

Do you regret keeping yourself in the closet?

How did you explain yourself when you couldn't eat a lot or certain foods? What about BP'ing in public?

The liquid phase? or any other related issues.

What type of questions or remarks did people make about your new eating habits?

Last but not least, is there some people who told others and wish they did not.

Thanks you, in advance, for any replies. I'm very curious to see if there are others who feel the way I do about keeping this secret.

*Don't get me wrong, I'm not a shallow person nor am I ashamed of getting the band. I just don't want to be judged or treated differently because I made a decision that will help my health. I don't want to be in a wheel chair so young in life. I'm 34 years old and my doctor told me I have a skeleton of a 60 year old.

Girl u need to do whatever u feel best for you as a person. You obviously have health issues that u are hoping the lapband will help. People should not judge. Even though they do, and can be so cruel. Good luck. Send me an email if u wanna chat!

You are not obliged to tell her what kind of surgery you are having. That is what the HIPPA laws are all about. I just told my coworkers that I had to have surgery and would be out for 2 weeks.

Shirley

I found out about the band from someone who had already had the proceedure and was happy to share. I can't tell you how glad I am that she did share or I may not have found ever known about the lap-band. I work in a building w/approx. 200 people. I personally know of 5 people who work here who have had the surgery and 3 additional in various pre-op stages. We all share with eachother and have found a genuine fellowship with eachother. I do know what you mean about being scrutinized though. There is one young lady downstairs who has done fabulous and I have heard a few negative comments made about her and her what she eats. It is my theory these comments are made by people who are envious of her weight loss. I guess the bottom line of what I'm trying to get at is if we are willing to share our story it may help someone else along the way to discover this even exists - but I understand reasons why someone may not wish to share and the possible repercussions involved in "letting the cat out of the bag" .

I was watching tv yesterday and there was a young girl on there complaining because she hated to watch fat people who had lost weight recieve prizes, etc. for losing weight. On the view yesterday - the young one "Elizabeth" was going on about how she was introducing guest who had lost weight "the good old fashioned way" as if our way was somehow "bad". She offended me in her ignorant statement.

Some people will always be ignorant - some people will always be cruel and hateful....just try to trust your instincts and trust your life information with only those who you feel you can trust. Just remember that their ignorance is not your problem. It's best to just be "better than that".

Ok. I have to add my two cents to this one. First of all, Nov 2nd is a great day for your surgery! It's my bday! Second, if you don't want to tell anyone, don't. It is a personal thing you are doing for yourself. You may feel differently after it is done. People who make their comments about it being an easy way out, are just dumb-asses!!! It is not an easy thing to do and it is life changing, for the better I must say! I have no regrets about having my surgery. I really didn't want everyone to know at first (had mixed emotions) and was disappointed when my mom started to tell all her friends. But as time went by and I was losing weight and inches, I was very proud of what I had done for myself. Some of us are just made to gain weight, don't know why. This is what I was able to do for myself to keep from gaining anymore. I refer people to my doctor now if I get the opportunity! If I can help someone else feel better about themselves and become a healthier person, then I want the world to know!!!!!!! My dad had gastric bypass in Feb and he tells everyone too! I am proud of myself, and so are my family and friends! Keep your chin up and you do what is best for you!!!!!!!! Don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks!!!!!!

This is going to sound silly, but another reason I don't care about telling people........saving money! We go out alot and travel frequently. A lot of times for example, there are buffets for breakfast when we stay at hotels. I usually just let them know that I am going to only eat a child's size portion because of my weight loss surgery and can't eat much and I only pay the childs price. Silly yes, but hey, why not!!!!!!! And they never tell me no! Hee!

I wanted to bump this thread. I know that there are many new people reading the boards daily & I've heard many talk about how this thread has helped them decide what they will do once they are banded (to tell or not to tell). It's great to hear all these band stories. Some people regret telling, while others love to shout it out to the world. If I was new to the boards I would have loved to read this thread to help me understand how my decision to tell/not to tell could affect me later down the road. (I've been reading here for a long time, I just didn't register until this thread was posted).

I have five roomates and 2 of us are banded and 2 more will be banded soon. We've all made different choices. One regrets telling & the other doesn't. The other two are deciding to keep it to just the roomates, after reading this thread. All though, for the girls who chose to keep it quiet, later down the road we would most likely tell close friends & family, once we felt some of the pressure lift off and we lost a great deal of our weight.

Ok. I have to add my two cents to this one. First of all, Nov 2nd is a great day for your surgery! It's my bday!

no no Nov 1st is a great day for surgery! (it's my bday)

lol j/k Good Luck to all upcoming Scorpio Bandsters!

OK, not to sound like a sappy hallmark, but I had pretty much decided not to tell my family unless I had to (my mom works at the hospital I am getting banded at). After some reconsideration I decided that even if they weren't going to be supportive, I wanted them to know "just in case". Well, long story short, they are aprehensive about the surgery, but thrilled overall with my decision. Someone earlier in this thread advised me to tell them and that they might pleasantly surprise me. My thoughts at that time were that while well meaning, that person obviously didn't know MY family!!!!! I just never thought they would go along with this but I think that once peolple realize how committed you are, and how much you've done to prepare to get to this point there isn't much they can say that will impact your decision so they just don't say it. Maybe on the other hand, they are just infected with your own enthusiasm and can't help supporting you -- whatever the reason it is still an individual decision and our own attitudes about it will ultimately affect those we choose to tell.........I'm glad I "outed" myself because now I have found support where I thought there would be none -- double bonus!

Bumping for Jini and newbies.

bump for a friend who asked about this thread...

I told a friend/co-worker today. I thought I'd get some support but the look on her face was not what I expected. Kinda like "What the ---- are you doing that for?" She has had some health issues and I've tried to be there for her, so it really suprised me. She just went on about how she has lost weight recently and went from a size 16 to a 10. And how she did it. Like I was suppose to just do that. I told her I can loose the weight - I've done it numerous times throughout my life. It's the keep it (plus) off. I always gain back what I've lost plus more. Basic scenario. I told her how I've researched this surgery for two years now and YES! I know what I'm doing! So now I think I'm not sharing my surgery with anyone. If some asks later on I'll let them know, but hopefully they will be asking because they care.

I swear I love my mommy. I underestimate her greatness every time. I finally built up the nerve to tell her and she was soooooo supportive. I told my brother also and he gave me the nod of approval. He said he didn't think I would be fat forever, but if this is what I wanted to go for it.

I managed to get the "balls" to tell a very close friend/ask for her opinion, and I knew she would tell me her true feelings. She was excited and told me she was "proud" for me doing this for me! I could NOT freakin' believe it. I'm still not going to tell the family or other friends, just knowing the she knows, and knowing that she will be thinking of me while I'm in surgery, etc, I feel a MASSIVE weight off my shoulders regarding doing this alone. Still scared, and all that, but now I have someone in my life to "watch and walk" me through this. Phew!

angie

I have kept my 11/2 surgery a "secret". A few friends know....I am not going to tell my family until I return home. I don't want my children or parents to worry. My husband is on board and will be along to "take care of me"!

Talk about Scorpio bandings....I get banded on the 2nd for my 40th birthday on 11/17!!! Its the best birthday present EVER!!!!

Dana