Hi everyone,

I wasn't sure how to pull this together, because I'm thinking about experiences I have had as a black woman, and as a blind one.

I take paratransit, known here as Access Services, home from work. Basically, it's a curb to curb cab service (or van) for a very small fee.

Twice I have ridden with passengers who have not wanted to sit by me, either because I'm black, or blind, or both. The most recent incident was today. I was in a van, and a woman got in. She sat down next to me, all the while talking to someone outside the van. All at once, after what was a halfhearted attempt at trying to fasten her seat belt, I heard the driver put down a middle seat. After we took off, I reached over to see if there was anything wrong with the belt. There wasn't; it moved quite easily.

That has happened to me before in an Access vehicle.

When I rode the bus, there was a driver who refused to speak to me. He never told me if there was a seat in front, or anywhere, for that matter, but he spoke to a blind man who was not black. They had a rather animated conversation in fact.

At the risk of sounding shallow, using an old cliche, I have friends of all races and ethnicities. I went to school with predominantly white kids of necessity. I had to go where the resources for blind kids were. I'm glad I did. I think it taught me a lot about all kinds of people, and how dull my life would be had I not met so many different types.

But I have also had several experiences of people who either thought I couldn't possibly help them because I'm blind, or who simply refused to interact with me, sit by me, you name it, for the same reason.

If anyone cares to share experiences from any point of view, I welcome them, and thank you all for letting me rant.

Debbie

I will never understand why people judge folks by what's outside, when the real value is inside.

Because that's where the boobs are.

Whoa just a minute, Jaffa. Are you claiming that no fat man has ever been elected president?

It's all about the TAFT, baby!!

This is really a thread on human interaction.

Man, that's what I was trying to say way back at post #31.

There are people on THIS board that I hate with a real passion, at least emotionally. There are people here that treated me like crap when I first joined this system, and the exchanges I had with them were quite personal and, at time, quite nasty. I thought I had outgrown that kind of stuff many years ago, but I had never been attacked in quite the personal way that I was here. So, I developed some real "virtual" hatred for some people, some of which I harbor to this day.

Uh, plz don't name names...even thought I suspect I might be among them. Heehee.

P.S......that doesn't mean that there aren't some a***oles on this forum......:thumbup:

Again, I'm gonna go ahead and plead the 5th on this one.

And don't even get me started on west Texas or east Texas.

Hey hey!! We're the paragons of tolerance here. So suck it!

Edited June 19, 200917 yr by plain

I grew up as what some would term "poor white trash." I went to a very low socio-economic junior high school. Probably 95 % black population to 5 % white. I was literally tortured there. I wasn't even allowed to sit on the bus and the bus driver never said anything because she was scared of the kids. I had my homework taken from me, things thrown at me during presentations. I was called names, hair pulled, etc. I was once cornered by some black guys and touched sexually inappropriately. The school was overrun with gangs and drugs. It was very scary. Flash forward to today. I work as a community health nurse to at risk pregnant moms. I make home visits and as you can guess, to mostly very poor neighborhoods. I visit a lot of section 8 housing, which is downright deplorable. Almost none of the people work, so there are always people out strolling around. In fact, we're forbidden from visiting on Fridays due to there being a proven increase in violence then. Sometimes, I do find myself getting scared before I get out of my car. Especially, if there are alot of black men in front of the residence. I don't consider myself racist, in fact, most of my clients are black and I care for them deeply. I don't know what it is that provokes the fear. If it's the things that happened when I was younger or if it's normal to be frightened of those different from us? Not sure if anyone else will admit to having experienced this.

I will admit, Melly, that I wouldn't be caught dead driving through Houston's Fourth Ward, much less getting out of my car. And it has nothing to do with racism -- simply survival.

I will admit, Melly, that I wouldn't be caught dead driving through Houston's Fourth Ward, much less getting out of my car. And it has nothing to do with racism -- simply survival.

HAHA Thanks Beth. I feel better. Luckily, I wear scrubs and most everyone know we're there to help. We give out a lot of free stuff too, like diapers and cribs, so people usually welcome us. I think there have only been a few incidents.

And for what it's worth, Indio, you're not looking too dark there yourself, so how is it you're the expert on the black experience? Serious question that I know sounds snarky but isn't.

Nope - I'm not black - I have black children - I have watched my xdh walk in a store and be followed - I have walked in and not been.. I can't totally speak from the black perspective - but I have 1st hand knowledge of dealing with racisim as to how my X was treated and how my children have been treated... I was fired from a job because of the color of my man's skin.. And wasn't able to write a check for a vehicle had to pay cash at a dealership..

From reading your replys - I take it that you are coming from a totally white persons prespective.. And no pun intended here - a very black/white position not totally seeing it from the other persons side.. Or why she would feel that way that all..

What it needed is understanding of why she may feel that way.. Not it's not always about race - well ya I would say alot of the time it is...

You can't say get over it - it's not always about color and even if it is - so what grow up and deal with it.. It's just not that simple to do..

And as to us having a Black President - It's not that we aren't a racisit county - it's that we are more sexist than we are racist...

My bosses would have rather voted for a black man than a woman any day of the week..

I grew up as what some would term "poor white trash." I went to a very low socio-economic junior high school. Probably 95 % black population to 5 % white. I was literally tortured there. I wasn't even allowed to sit on the bus and the bus driver never said anything because she was scared of the kids. I had my homework taken from me, things thrown at me during presentations. I was called names, hair pulled, etc. I was once cornered by some black guys and touched sexually inappropriately. The school was overrun with gangs and drugs. It was very scary. Flash forward to today. I work as a community health nurse to at risk pregnant moms. I make home visits and as you can guess, to mostly very poor neighborhoods. I visit a lot of section 8 housing, which is downright deplorable. Almost none of the people work, so there are always people out strolling around. In fact, we're forbidden from visiting on Fridays due to there being a proven increase in violence then. Sometimes, I do find myself getting scared before I get out of my car. Especially, if there are alot of black men in front of the residence. I don't consider myself racist, in fact, most of my clients are black and I care for them deeply. I don't know what it is that provokes the fear. If it's the things that happened when I was younger or if it's normal to be frightened of those different from us? Not sure if anyone else will admit to having experienced this.

Melly, I'd chalk this up to a very woman-specific fear rather than fear of a certain race....probably triggered from what happend with the inappropriate touching. But I'm not a psychologist or anything. :thumbup:

Hmmmm, Nanette. That's an interesting thought. I've tried to imagine someone walking toward me and think about which I'd notice first, sex or weight. I can't come up with anything but that I'd probably notice those two things simultaneously. How could you not? Which do you think you'd notice first?

Thanks BJean, I like Nanette, a little more flattering than Nanook!

I don't know, my daughter thinks sex is noticed first but I don't know if it's under our control and we're just wired a certain way. As humans I'd think we'd be programed to seek out sex before race or size. I'm sure there are people who know more about it than I do. Also I am very nearsighted so I suppose it depends on how far away they were from me.

Bj, you made a statement early on that is flat out wrong. Racism is NOT more likely then prejudice against someone being fat. There have been lot of studies that prove this, here is a link to just one.

ABC News: Study: 'Weight-ism' Is Bigger Than Racism

JaffaSteve,

Good article I've read plenty of those and more in my Fat Acceptance groups. There is a ton of that kind of literature out there. Why would I go through one wls, which failed to go through a more extreem one if I didn't feel the affects of that kind of discrimination! Nanette, the artist formally known as Nanook:thumbup:

But I'm not a psychologist or anything. :thumbup:

Oh, but you're just as smart if not smarter than those quacks =p

HAHA Thanks Beth. I feel better. Luckily, I wear scrubs and most everyone know we're there to help. We give out a lot of free stuff too, like diapers and cribs, so people usually welcome us. I think there have only been a few incidents.

Not to sound flip, but wearing scrubs I'd be afraid they'd think you have drugs with you. Just a thought...

And oftentimes I have known many in situations like that (regardless of color) aren't that thankful for the help. Expectant or demanding, maybe, but not always thankful.

I can't totally speak from the black perspective

Then apparently we are coming from the same perspective.

From reading your replys - I take it that you are coming from a totally white persons prespective..

That's a grand assumption, isn't it? Maybe like the OP's assumption that a lady switched seats simply because she's black?

What it needed is understanding of why she may feel that way..

I can understand WHY she may feel that way, but it doesn't assure that she's right about the situation.

You can't say get over it - it's not always about color and even if it is - so what grow up and deal with it.. It's just not that simple to do..

Look, if Helen Keller could overcome all she had going against her, if Jews who were exterminated in the millions nearly to extinction and who still suffer injustices, if Stephen Hawking can overcome all his handicaps and be a BRILLIANT scientist, then my dear, I definitely believe people can overcome how she (or anyone in her situation) allows people to make her feel.

And as to us having a Black President - It's not that we aren't a racisit county - it's that we are more sexist than we are racist...

Maybe...

My bosses would have rather voted for a black man than a woman any day of the week..

Funny, I would have rather voted for a good candidate, something we didn't get on either side. But that's another thread. :thumbup:

But I'm not a psychologist or anything. :thumbup:

Or a doctor. And even that man thing is in question.

Not to sound flip, but wearing scrubs I'd be afraid they'd think you have drugs with you. Just a thought...

And oftentimes I have known many in situations like that (regardless of color) aren't that thankful for the help. Expectant or demanding, maybe, but not always thankful.

People have said that before as far as the drugs but I live in a fairly smaller city(we are a small group of well known nurses) and considering we visit young women of childbearing age, people know we don't carry meds. If someone accosted me, they would get little more than a baby scale, paperwork, and some diapers.

I won't lie. At times it does become very difficult not to become upset with people at my job. I think I only have a few clients with jobs. Most are on welfare, subsidized housing, multiple children despite the fact that I give out free birth control. Did you know that you can actually live in section 8 housing and pay $0 rent for life? There is no time limit. I was very surprised to learn that. I have to remind myself at times that I'm there for the children. They need me and didn't ask for the situation they are in.

And actually I've only had a few people who were rude and demanding with me. Most have been very thankful. Of course, I am one of the coolest nurses alive so that could have a ton to do with it =p

Oh, but you're just as smart if not smarter than those quacks =p

Okay, don't go giving him a big head. Or feed his ego either. :thumbup:

Of course, I am one of the coolest nurses alive so that could have a ton to do with it =p

Hehehe, it sounds like it.

I did some volunteer work for a while with unwed mothers, and it was one of the most emotional jobs I have ever done. And at times the most unrewarding, sad to say.