Hi everyone,

I wasn't sure how to pull this together, because I'm thinking about experiences I have had as a black woman, and as a blind one.

I take paratransit, known here as Access Services, home from work. Basically, it's a curb to curb cab service (or van) for a very small fee.

Twice I have ridden with passengers who have not wanted to sit by me, either because I'm black, or blind, or both. The most recent incident was today. I was in a van, and a woman got in. She sat down next to me, all the while talking to someone outside the van. All at once, after what was a halfhearted attempt at trying to fasten her seat belt, I heard the driver put down a middle seat. After we took off, I reached over to see if there was anything wrong with the belt. There wasn't; it moved quite easily.

That has happened to me before in an Access vehicle.

When I rode the bus, there was a driver who refused to speak to me. He never told me if there was a seat in front, or anywhere, for that matter, but he spoke to a blind man who was not black. They had a rather animated conversation in fact.

At the risk of sounding shallow, using an old cliche, I have friends of all races and ethnicities. I went to school with predominantly white kids of necessity. I had to go where the resources for blind kids were. I'm glad I did. I think it taught me a lot about all kinds of people, and how dull my life would be had I not met so many different types.

But I have also had several experiences of people who either thought I couldn't possibly help them because I'm blind, or who simply refused to interact with me, sit by me, you name it, for the same reason.

If anyone cares to share experiences from any point of view, I welcome them, and thank you all for letting me rant.

Debbie

Debbie,

I find it appalling that people treat others the way they treat you. I have to think how they would feel if it were them in your shoes. It would not bother me in the least to sit next to you and have a stimulating conversation.

I know what you said is the truth, but I just find it so hard to believe in this day and time. What's wrong with people?

Joan

Thank you Joan. It makes me sad whenever I experience things like that, or hear of others of any race or ethnicity who do. And it hurts, even though I know I shouldn't let it get to me. I've been fortunate to have wonderful people in my life, and I guess that makes it all that much harder when it happens. I don't have my head buried in the sand, but it's sad nonetheless.

Debbie

I'm very sorry that you have to experience that. My 13 year old brother is mixed. My mother and step father adopted him when he was 2 months old. You can imagine the stares we all get when we all go somewhere together. He lives in a 100% white neighborhood with my parents, and recently some mean boys that ride his school bus were caught spray painting racist comments and symbols on the driveway. I cried when I found out about it. It makes me very sad and angry that people are still so ignorant. It makes me even madder that parents still teach their children such hate.

I'm sorry that your family has had to experience that kind of hate, too. I don't understand why anyone feels that way. Your poor parents. But how brave of them to adopt a mixed child.

Thank you for your post, Carrie

Debbie.

I saw something quite amazing a few months back that literally made me feel sick.

In australia, its a very multicultural society, well in the capital cities. You see greek, italian, muslim races, and loads and loads and loads of asian people, entire suburbs in fact. We have a reasonable sudanese population in this local area, but by and large, to see someone black is pretty unusual. Yellow, olive, white, and dark as in Indian or indonesian, but black races of African origin, very rare. Rare enough that most kids would stare.

So that's what makes this even more amazing. We were doing safety with the prep (first year) kids at school - road safety, neighbourhood watch, all that stuff and yes, stranger danger. I asked the children to draw pictures of situations they should avoid. And one little girl drew herself being taken away by a huge black man. Even the other teacher (I'm a student teacher) didnt notice or question it.

It is highly unlikely that this would be something this child would have experienced, here in Melbourne. This is entirely subconscious, another schema that she has just simply absorbed from television and media. That's really really sad becuase its not even consciously racism, its simply subconscious assumption. And you can guarantee with all the negative publicity the muslim community receives in the media that similar schema operate there too.

How do you fight that? Its one thing to react to blatant rudeness and bigotry isnt it? But quite another to challenge people's enculturation into a racist way of thinking.

Edited June 14, 200917 yr by Jachut

I'll tell you what's wrong with people like that, they are uneducated back woods vermin!!

So sorry you have had to experience situations like that. But thankfully, in my opinion the majority of people are not like that!

Julie

I know of a couple of people who came from racist families and don't feel the same way as their relatives. It probably happens very rarely, but I suppose people can figure out for themselves that what they learned as children isn't always the truth.

There is a song in the musical South Pacific, I think, called You Have to Be Taught, and it talks about how prejudice is learned. The first time I heard it I was touched, because someone actually put it in a show.

Debbie.

Edited June 14, 200917 yr by serenity55

Hey Debbie:

Thanks for your thought-provoking post. I can't explain why anyone would discriminate against you for any reason, much less because you are a lady with darker skin or because you are a lady who cannot see.

Too bad we don't all experience blindness for a while in our lives. It wouldn't take very long for us to understand that the color of people's skin doesn't tell us what kind of person they are.

When my son became a teenager and decided to be in a band, he grew his hair long and wore rocker's clothes and makeup for his gigs and to impress the other kids. Other parents saw his band's performances and they smiled and clapped along with me. But if they saw him walking down the street without me, they would have avoided him and they would have made the judgement that he was a bad kid, as evidenced by his clothes and hair.

After I learned that shocking lesson, I looked at all teenagers differently. I realized that they all have a mother and that there was no possible way that their attire determined whether they were a bad kid or not.

Discrimination and bigotry are based in ignorance and fear. When I notice discrimination and I speak to a bigot or read something they have written, I know I am speaking with and noticing a person who is flat out ignorant. An ignorant person scares me much, much more than someone with skin different from mine or with clothing that looks outrageous to me.

I don't know how we, as a nation, will ever get past our sad, pathetic history and ignorance. I have hope that having a President who has dark skin and a multi-racial upbringing and a varied cultural background and education, will be an excellent example for all of us - and that he will prove just how ignorant it is to prejudge people and how ignorant it is to discriminate against others for any reason.

BJean, thank you!

I met a woman who was blind, her daughter was also, and she went to school with me. I went to a birthday party at this kid's hous . Somehow her mother touched my hair, and realized that I was black. The next week at school my little friend said, "I'm glad you were at my party, even if my mother said never to invite you over again."

I'm sorry that you had to come to that realization, but I think that people who meet you will find you a kind and accepting person.

Debbie

Debbie,

I have only been discriminated against (to my knowledge) because I am short and because I'm fat. I realize those are certainly not much of a big deal, comparatively speaking. But I know how it feels when someone says something derrogatory and although I probably have no idea how it feels for someone to touch my hair and make a statement like that, I can certainly imagine how it feels and I think I would find it difficult not to be bitter and defensive.

You do not sound like a bitter or defensive person at all. You sound intelligent and as though you understand and accept discrimination for what it is and you try to learn from it and move on. It makes me want to get to know you better because I have a feeling that I could learn a lot from you.

BJean

BJean,

What it did was make me feel as though I was less than perfect. I grew up in a time where books were full of princesses with long golden hair and blue eyes. I know that not all white people fit the description of what is supposed to be, or have been, desirable, but back then, I really wanted straight hair and pale skin.

And I can relate to being discriminated against for being fat, too. It hurts just as much as someone making racist comments, I think.

Thank you for your kind words. I don't ever want to be bitter or defensive; I just want to accept and be accepted, loved, and love in return. I think that's probably what we all want

Debbie.

Debbie you're right, we all want to be loved or at least liked.

The older I get I've decided that the best I can hope for in dealing with other people is fairness. As long as people treat others fairly, I am pretty happy. I strive to be as fair as I can. It actually isn't always easy to figure out the most fair answer.

I totally understand what you're saying about the blond princess in the fairy tales. When my older sister's daughter wanted a Cabbage patch doll, they were constantly sold out. One day she went to ToysRus when they announced that they got a shipment. The only one that was left when she got there was a darling brown baby with curly black hair. She wasn't sure if that would make a difference to her daughter because she'd never bought anything but white dolls with blond hair, like her daughter. She was pleased that when she brought the brown doll home to her daughter, she was delighted to get her Cabbage Patch kid and never seemed to notice that the doll was different at all.

But it made me wonder what it was like for pretty little brown skinned girls to have to get blond-haired white dolls because that was all that their mothers could find.

I'm sorry that your family has had to experience that kind of hate, too. I don't understand why anyone feels that way. Your poor parents. But how brave of them to adopt a mixed child.

Thank you for your post, Carrie

Debbie.

Yes, my parents were very brave to adopt a mixed child. He was also born addicted to crack cocaine. My Mom and stepdad always wanted a child of their own, but were unable to have one. So when they found out he was available for adoption, they jumped at the chance. I don't think they would have cared if he was green!

Carrie_C, it is people like you and your parents, that keep hope alive. Sounds corny, I know, but I really believe that. When ever I talk to anyone of any race who feels that way it tends to make me think that there still are caring people in the world.

BJean, it just goes to show that kids really don't care about color as long as they get what they want. Well, maybe I shouldn't generalize. Maybe I should say many children.

When my best friend was small, she saw two little black girls on her street. She said to her mom, "Mommy, I met two girls and they're brue!" (She couldn't say blue, and perhaps didn't know black, I forget exactly how the story goes.) We still talk about that. (Actually I tease her a lot.) :tongue_smilie:.

Debbie.

Seren...

I haven't read all the responses but have been involved with fat acceptance groups and most of them feel the same way. What can I say but weight seems to be the only acceptable form of prejudice today, I'm sure people will argue that. So it may not be that you are black or blind. There are some stupid people out there who act like this. It could be she had a germ phobia but most fat people have felt this from time to time, like we're sucking up everyones oxygen and smell. Actually I believe some people feel they will "catch" obesity!

Sorry if you're having issues, no one deserves to be treated like that. Take care Nancy.