Co-worker Coldness

[loopylou 0]

Today I experienced something I have never experienced before. I met, for the first time, a new co-worker who I will be travelling with and training with next week. And he took an instant dislike to me and I dont get it!! I usually find it really easy to make friends and I have never had this reaction from anyone before. He was making snide comments about weight to another co-worker and would barely make eye contact with me, never mind actually saying anything to me. I could feel the contempt coming of him in waves. He was a young fashionable thing and I dont know what to do. I am going to have to work with this person and he wont give me the time of day. Any advice on this would be most welcome, I am at a complete loss as to what to do; no one's ever failed to fall for my charm before

[ReneBean 3]

Well, if Slapping him Upside the Head is out of the question, then I suppose you will have to kill him with kindness, sort of.

Smile sweetly and ignore his petty outbursts - just be professional and polite. After a while, he will start to look even more like an @$$ and your other co-workers will begin to exert some peer pressure on him to grow up.

Remember, you don't have to like him and he doesn't have to like you - but you DO have to work together.

Maybe he thinks you are coming on to him??? Turn down the warmth factor just a little and Rise Above.

Just my thoughts.

Good luck.

[Mita 2]

First of all I am Sorry that you have to tolerate this person in the work place.

But if he keeps making comments about your weight I would report him to your HR Dept.

Nip it in the bud.

[NJChick 3]

This guy needs to overcome some of himself first, sheeeeesh.

Sounds like this should be his problem and not yours so just be yourself and smile.

Every time you look at him, say this to yourself "tough titty said the kitty but the milk's still good" (makes me laugh lol).

Good luck.

[loopylou 0]

Thanks guys!

Bubbame, The trouble was he was just making comments about weight problems not 'my' weight problem - even though I was the only fat chick in the room. So, although it was hurtful I couldn't really point the finger.

Thanx Eileen I will give that a try

hmmmm Renebean - It was clear to everyone that I was not hitting on him as his ... er sexual orientation was blatantly obvious!! lol

[giveyouthemoon 4]

If he's a new guy to the group then maybe he's feeling a skosh insecure and overcompensating by being a dirtbag.

If you are going to have to work closely with him then personally, I suggest you try to set up a half hour one on one with him with the context of "strategy setting" or something like that. Tell him that you want to insure that the work you are about to do together will be successful for you both. Appeal to his desire to do well in his job. Be open and straightforward. Don't get into any "I think you don't like me" or emotional stuff. Business like.

[ReneBean 3]

Oh well - I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. I guess he's just an @$$!

:]

[Road Queen 0]

I'm sorry that you have to work with him. Maybe you can use this as a learning opportunity to figure out new ways to work with difficult co-workers. Keep us posted. Celeste

[flower 2]

Just be polite to him your co-workers are not your friends they are your co-workers work is the last place you want to make enemies you have to spend alot of time there be cordial and do the best you can

[the best me 6]

Perhaps he realizes he'll be fighting with you for "Diva" status. Give him the spotlight. More power to him. You already know you are the most charming person there!!!

[Mita 2]

Then I say just act non chalant like he does not get on your last nerve at least till he steps over the line. Hopefully he will get nicer with time.

[vinesqueen 2]

oh dear. I think you will have to kill him with kindness. So sorry.

[Penni60 45]

I agree kill him with kindness and if that doesn't work tell him he is wearing last seasons shoes. That will get him. LOL!!

[La_madam 20]

Come right out and ask him if your weight bothers him make him accountable, mention you overheard him talking about weight and ask him if he was referring to you . Best to be straight up front from the get go..tell him you felt a little awkwardness coming from him the moment the two of you met and you wanted to get things out in the open now before you begin your close working relationship. This is what I would do..no sugarcoating it one bit! Shoot from the hip!

[Zoe 6]

I love La Madam's suggestion and wish I'd thought of it myself!