Why such negativity ?!?!?!?!

[wstorms 2]

I have been a member of this forum since October 08, and have gotten such WONDERFUL information and support by reading your posts and asking questions. So many people are so positive and helpful, and that is such a GREAT thing!!!!

So WHY do some people have to be so negative?!?!? I have seen a number of posts that have been so negative. Do these people not remember that childhood lesson of, "If you don't have something nice to say then don't say it all!"

I am not talking about the post that are giving factual information about Lapband that might cause some heated discussions. I am talking about people just being MEAN!!

I guess there are mean people everywhere. Which is just plain sad because to me this is, for the most part, a positive place for information and support!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

w, sometimes people reply without thinking. I'm totally guilty of this myself. For the most part though, I really try to help people when I can.

The best thing to remember is if someone is mean, that is something the individual will have to bear. Not yourself.

Just move along and do your best to remain positive, because in this journey you will definitely need to remain so. :cursing: HTH

[debbie_7155 0]

I cant say ive seen any mean people on here, maybe im not looking ( & dont want to).. i joined here to get & give support, no one really should be judgemental, just give guidance where needed with lots of encouragement,

were all in the same boat & from time to time incl myself is going to fall in the Water & i hope someone will reach out their hand to guide me back to safety as i would do the same for others...

lets enjoy our new lives together... life is too short for negativity.. were all here to lose weight & be happy :cursing:

[FabBy50 0]

Im new to this site and have seen ALOT of negative replies to threads. I have been very suprised at this. I came here for support before my surgery and have seen alot of posts that are down right mean. Im not sure why people are like that but it is usually the same ones doing it. I guess you have to take the good with the bad, most of the people here are great.

Bernadette

[TracyW2 137]

I'm new here and I have seen a lot of cliques. I only had one person even reply to my introduction thread.

I was really looking for help when I signed up here, but I just dont see much of that.

[tapshoes 2]

It is unfortunate that anyone experiences negativity; I haven't experienced it myself, but I don't dispute that others may have.

There are times when perhaps some posts are meant to be read as sarcastic - but as they are typed words only, the recipient can't see the body language or hear the tone of the person typing it. And of course, not everyone appreciates sarcasm and may perceive it negatively.

Sometimes what someone may take as negativity is meant as 'tough love'; yes, we all struggle and have our 'moments', but sometimes a veteran poster may just get frustrated if they see someone setting themselves up for disappointment by not fully understanding and following healthy/safe/dr instructions, etc....they are human too!

And then again, as there is such a mixture of people on this site, that just like in the real world, some people are just not nice. Why? no one knows, but they are.

Cliques? I think if you join one particular group, over time you get to know these people and this may seem cliquish. I know that once I started posting regularly on the forum for bandsters done the same time as myself, many of us have gotten to know each other quite well, and have become friends. But I think/hope we are welcoming to anyone else who enters the forum.

so, bottom line (and I do tend to ramble on, don't I?), just like in the world outside of LBT, there are lots of reasons for negativity: unintentional; frustration; mis-interpretation; someone posting without taking the time to think about it; and just some people's nature. Ignore those that are hurtful, and just keep your goal in mind. There are some wonderful people at LBT, and I hope you encounter more of them. Good luck on your journey.

[wstorms 2]

I'm new here and I have seen a lot of cliques. I only had one person even reply to my introduction thread.

I was really looking for help when I signed up here, but I just dont see much of that.

Tracy,

I have been a member of this forum for about five months now. For a long time I just read posts because I was trying to get as much information as possible about my band. I would comment on a post from time to time. I just recently really started participating in discussions.

When I signed up I was looking for help as well, and feel that I have gotten it. I find the site to be very informative, minus a few negative responders .

I have never been a very big blogger, and really look at this site as informational only. There are people I see post that I greatly appreciate what they say, and look forward to reading their comments! Though I also realize this is a cyber forum, and being that it is I do not expect too much emotional support. I have real world family and friends for that, but that is just my way of thinking.

There are definitely people that keep up with each other on this site, that is how it works. If I were you I would search for a group that had/will have their surgery the same time as you. That will give you a good start to the online support group you might be looking for.

Good luck with your journey!!!

[wstorms 2]

Im new to this site and have seen ALOT of negative replies to threads. I have been very suprised at this. I came here for support before my surgery and have seen alot of posts that are down right mean. Im not sure why people are like that but it is usually the same ones doing it. I guess you have to take the good with the bad, most of the people here are great.

Bernadette

I agree, you have to take the good with the bad! Though sometimes it is really hard to ignore the mean comments. Did you see the movie Pretty Woman? Richard Gere tells Julia Roberts that she can be so much more, and she said sometimes you only remember the bad that people say....paraphrasing here of course because I have not seen the movie in a while :laugh:.

I try to stay very positive, and I have a great support group to help me with that, but it is just human nature to get bummed sometimes....and granted comments should not be taken personally, but sometimes you can't help but to take them that very way!

All is good, I am on a journey that I REFUSE to let anyones comments effect.

[TracyW2 137]

I have found a couple of woman in my area that I have been in contact with. It is nice to find support. When I do find out for when when my surgery will be, I will look there.

Thank you. I guess I was just expecting more of a welcome.

[wstorms 2]

I have found a couple of woman in my area that I have been in contact with. It is nice to find support. When I do find out for when when my surgery will be, I will look there.

Thank you. I guess I was just expecting more of a welcome.

I am sorry that you did not feel welcomed. If you every have any questions or concerns please feel free to personal message me. I am not the guru on lapband by any means, but I sure will help you if I can.

Good luck with your journey!

[FabBy50 0]

Tracy

Im sorry that you have nor felt welcome here, there are alot of other forums out there that give good support. I can't mention the names without getting into trouble. Im new here too and have met some very nice people and some down right mean people.....go figure.

Why do you have to wait until June for your surgery? Good luck Bernadette

[luluc 6]

I'm new here and I have seen a lot of cliques. I only had one person even reply to my introduction thread.

I was really looking for help when I signed up here, but I just dont see much of that.

that's unfortunate -

when i first signed up - i meandered around and found the threads that i needed to read to be my "support group". along the way, your posting on the same threads with the same people daily & some friendships develop - even some in real life.

along the way you'll find what i call the "police". they don't offer advice, rather they like to tell you what you should do....cause their dr & their rules are what makes someone successful. the food police are actually quite comical, and i'm entertained daily by their BS.

you'll find your way - keep reading; take the nastiness and know you wouldn't be friendly w/that person in real life & move on.....btw- welcome!

[SunnyRachel 7]

I'm new here and I have seen a lot of cliques. I only had one person even reply to my introduction thread.

I was really looking for help when I signed up here, but I just dont see much of that.

Hi!

I hope you won't be discouraged by the lack of response to your first post. Sometimes I find that the easiest way to connect is to pop into the chat room. I have only come across very helpful people hanging out in the chat room.

There are so many nice people to answer questions, so I hope you will give it another look.

Welcome!

[wstorms 2]

Case in point....

I posted on another thread. The OP was asking what everyone wanted to do when they reached goal. I made the statement that I want to get my first tattoo. I want to get a white tattoo on the inside of my left wrist. One word, something inspirational, but I am not sure of the word yet.

Anywho, someone commented that you should not get a tattoo in her opinion they were, and I am quoting here, "Trashy and Gross."

SERIOUSLY!!! I know she probably does not realize that what she said was a bit offensive....but that is just an example of something that is just SOOO not called for!!

Good thing I am not taking these comments too personally !!!!

[gingerbug 3]

I chalk it up to 'it takes all sorts of people to make up the world'. Honestly, I find it somewhat entertaining and the couple of people who are bordering on toxic made it to my ignore list so that helps. The rest I take with a grain of salt.