Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Mind your own Business???HELP



Recommended Posts

This post is about answering the question "how did you lose your weight" if asked by people you don't care to share your lapband story with.

I have only told my husband and three friends so far. My best friend said be prepared for always thin people to come right out and ask if Ive had surgery.:wink: I think screaming none of your business at them would actually be answering their question. ANY TIPS? Has any one found an affective way of dealing with this? I dont want to be rude. But I don't want to tell the truth either.:o

Edited by cindel
added ticker

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, it isn't just the band you know. You have to eat less and exercise. If you don't want to tell about the band (I tell, but we're all different) just way "I've been eating healthy and exercising" or "eating less and exercising" or "the old fashioned way...I've been dieting and exercising"....whatever you want.

If someone says "have you had surgery" say "why would you think that?" Answering a question with a question is usually a quick and easy way to gain control of the conversation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My standard answer is "I eat less and move more"....and leave it at that if it is someone I don't care to share the band information with....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The first time someone asked me what I was doing I was kind of taken back I didn't know what to say. I now just say I have been really watching what I eat. And thats the truth!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have never felt funny to tell people that I had the band. My whole life people have seen my weight go up and down up and down. Finally I have maintained my weight loss for 2 1/2 years and that is what I am proud of myslef for. I have never cared what people said about me while losing weight but I alwas had a problem with myself seeing people and them looking at me like, yet again, she loses and gains the weight.

Now people are very proud of me and my accomplishment. I thank God on my knees that I finally am healthy and will always tell my story as long as someone wants to hear about it. I am here to help people like me. The people who have been thin all there life will never understand what we have gone through and are still going through. I feel for them as much as much as they have felt for me. Even though it really doesn't amount to much I know I am going to be around alot longer than I ever could have been 3 years ago.

Josephine

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I ditto the simple answers. I plan to say "I'm eating half as much so I can be half as big".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just try to keep it simple.

Things like:

Them: "Oh, you're losing weight."

Me: "Yea, I'm working on it."

Them: "What are doing?"

Me: "Watching my portions and trying to exercise more."

Them: "Oh wow! You've lost some weight!"

Me: "Thank you for noticing."

It REALLY depends on the person and the tone and way they say things. I've chosen to not announce to the world that I've had surgery. I don't want the scrutiny like when I was on WW a few years ago. That was horrible and I don't want to go through it again.

There have been a few people recently that I've told about surgery other than my initial group of confidants. But it's few and far between when I share.

I've not gotten the surgery question. Don't think I will. I'm a pretty slow loser, which is fine, I'm losing! I think if I was losing A LOT faster, then I might get that question but I kinda doubt it.

I will gladly share if there is someone who is struggling and mentions surgery. I've just not had that situation yet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You have lost the weight with diet and exercise. The band is only a tool. It is your choice to tell people about it. People who comment, other than to tell you that you look fantastic are just rude. It really is none of their business.

I have told everyone about my band. I feel like it has changed my life and if it will help someone else the way it has helped me, that is great. I was even interviewed by the local newspaper about my band. It was an interesting article and hopefully helped raise awareness about the band as a safe way to aid in weight loss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This subject came up today matter of fact. I saw my mother in law about 5 weeks after I had my surgery. I had lost about 20 pounds at that point. She didn't even notice or care. She had her own things to deal with. I didn't tell her. She's a funny one, and I don't much care for her attitude about things, so I kept it to myself. My husband respected my wishes. So now I'm 16 months out. I still hadn't told her. She emailed me a couple weeks ago and wanted to know if I wanted some clothes and was I still wearing the same size. I told her I had lost about 74 pounds and was no longer wearing plus size clothes. I left it at that. She wrote back asking what I did. I told her diet and exercise. Well she writes me AGAIN today, saying how she had told all her friends that I lost over 70 pounds. They all want to know how, which diet I followed and several of them had told her the only way I could have done it is if I had done bypass or got my stomach "stapled". LOL LOL LOL..... She demanded to know if I had had that done. It's still none of her business, (and certainly not her friends' business) so I have no intention of answering her. It was rude to ask, rude to make the comment and I'm going to return the thought by being rude and choosing not to answer her. Belive me. If I did it would be all over the internet in 5 minutes, and all of the relatives would be emailing me about it. I would be the topic of sick gossip for weeks. I despise poor manners, drama and nosey people. Nuff said.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This subject came up today matter of fact. I saw my mother in law about 5 weeks after I had my surgery. I had lost about 20 pounds at that point. She didn't even notice or care. She had her own things to deal with. I didn't tell her. She's a funny one, and I don't much care for her attitude about things, so I kept it to myself. My husband respected my wishes. So now I'm 16 months out. I still hadn't told her. She emailed me a couple weeks ago and wanted to know if I wanted some clothes and was I still wearing the same size. I told her I had lost about 74 pounds and was no longer wearing plus size clothes. I left it at that. She wrote back asking what I did. I told her diet and exercise. Well she writes me AGAIN today, saying how she had told all her friends that I lost over 70 pounds. They all want to know how, which diet I followed and several of them had told her the only way I could have done it is if I had done bypass or got my stomach "stapled". LOL LOL LOL..... She demanded to know if I had had that done. It's still none of her business, (and certainly not her friends' business) so I have no intention of answering her. It was rude to ask, rude to make the comment and I'm going to return the thought by being rude and choosing not to answer her. Belive me. If I did it would be all over the internet in 5 minutes, and all of the relatives would be emailing me about it. I would be the topic of sick gossip for weeks. I despise poor manners, drama and nosey people. Nuff said.

Aubrie - You are too cool! Love your attitude and I agree 100% with it. Congratulations on your very successful weight loss. Wish you continued good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This post is about answering the question "how did you lose your weight" if asked by people you don't care to share your lapband story with.

I have only told my husband and three friends so far. My best friend said be prepared for always thin people to come right out and ask if Ive had surgery.:) I think screaming none of your business at them would actually be answering their question. ANY TIPS? Has any one found an affective way of dealing with this? I dont want to be rude. But I don't want to tell the truth either.:thumbup:

If you don't want to tell people, I would give them this simple reply:

"I won a trip to Africa. The deal is, I couldnt tell anyone where I was, bc I was really working undercover for the CIA. Do you remember that day you called me and it went straight to voicemail? Anyways, I was in Africa at that very moment. I went swimming under a waterfall, bc thats where the secret door to the bunker was. Long story short...I ended up getting this tapeworm...its called Ubershrinkmypantsolis....Its going to be feautured on an upcoming episode of "holy crap" on TLC....so, its all due to a tape worm. Dont hate".

:crying:

For real though, I just tell people if they ask. Of course, I am pretty much an open book.

if you dont like my tape worm idea, the others had pretty good responses!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×