Did I overreact?

[YngGram 73]

31 years experience tells me you were WRONG!!! He has the same right to like as you do to not like it. He is not pushing it on you, and the ti hing with your daughter could have happened to anyone. A son could have just as easily asked about the tampons he found under your sink when he was bored. You married a man not a priest, would you rather he check out the girls on stroll? Then there is the big thing of privacy, I want mine respected and I bet you do to. Got a dairy he hasn't read? I understand because I don't like porn either, so my husband will sometimes order something on TV and I get the befits. Now that you have breeched what I consider a trust issue; step up and tell him. Talk it out, let him know you were wrong, yes I said tell him that. Then let him know that if he must he should be very careful about it. Who knows, it might not have been his but the buddy that got a ride with him.

[MyDay2Shine 1]

A son could have just as easily asked about the tampons he found under your sink when he was bored.

What? How is that the same? Knowing about a period and hard porn are a little different to me. I believe in age appropriate education about sex and the human body.

Got a dairy he hasn't read?

I keep my dairy on our desk wide open he reads it if/when ever he wants, I don't care. He also helps himself to anything in my purse/wallet he wants. The fact that we have so few secrets is one of the things that shocked me the most about the whole situation.

Who knows, it might not have been his but the buddy that got a ride with him.

It could have been, but I was pretty sure it wasn't. If it would have been his buddy's I would have told his buddy to keep his private stuff to him self. Then I would have personally gone out and purchased him a replacement.

[plain 12]

Then I would have personally gone out and purchased him a replacement.

I don't know you smartiegirl, but the thought of you personally buying a HARDCORE porn mag made me laugh a little. Sexist? Yes.......but I still think it's funny.

[Firedad53073 4]

Overreact? Maybe. But you were right to feel uncomfortable about the whole porn issue.

If he feels he needs to bring that into the picture with out involving you in the process this shows trust and intimacy issues. If you and he used something like that to spice things up a little I don’t think that would be a problem but the fact he had it hidden in the car in a nondescript bag tells me he doesn’t feel comfortable about some aspect of your sexual relationship. If he wasn’t hiding this like a 15 year old I would not think this but when in a relationship intimate things like this become secrets or get hidden this shows a serious lack of trust and can only be exacerbated by the shredding of the evidence. My honest opinion is to bring it up in a non accusatory manor and see if you can’t get to the bottom of the necessity of the porn. Don’t get me wrong I am all for spice in a relationship but when you spice things up and leave the partner out of the loop you are not far from looking outside of the relationship for the spice (Infidelity) if you catch my drift.

Heck for that matter Two can play that game just for giggles replace his porn with alternate gender porn instead of hot chicks see how he feels about a bag full overly well hung studs in his car. Just tell him that if he wants to spice things up a little it might as well be something you can enjoy also. Or just keep shredding things and ignore the whole thing.

Edited November 14, 2008 by Firedad53073

[luluc 6]

Hi Kat I just read your post, we just spent the last hour and a half reading this thread and talking about it.

see a happy ending....:tongue2:

glad it all worked out,

[MyDay2Shine 1]

Heck for that matter Two can play that game just for giggles replace his porn with alternate gender porn instead of hot chicks

This did actually cross my mind :tongue2:. It is something funny/sarcastic like I would do, but ultimately decided that was a little mean even for me!

[Melolo 0]

Hey Donna 113, I've let the subject marinade and the way you described it is most definitely cheating. But I tell you what this would make a nice fantasy. I can just imagine a significant other posing as the hot sexy masseuse giving the tired, overworked, stress, tensed and frustrated wife/mother a pleasureable and satisfying full body massage and then just when she thinks the massage is over he leans in and gently whispers in her ear "Do you want a Happy Ending." Yes! Yes! Yes! :tongue2:

Damn does anyone know where I can find a massage table?

Edited November 14, 2008 by Melolo

[Donna113 2]

Melo, now you've got me all hot n bothered! :tongue2:

[Melolo 0]

Melo, now you've got me all hot n bothered! :tongue2:

Donna, I got myself all hot and bother. I'm serious I need a massage table. Because I really do enjoy nice massages both public and private. Oooohhh! I need a cold glass of Water. LOL

[rodriguezequal 3]

Damn does anyone know where I can find a massage table?:Dancing_sorry:

costco used to carry one, but I'm not sure if they do anymore...lol :Dancing_wub: Good luck and have fun

[Melolo 0]

costco used to carry one, but I'm not sure if they do anymore...lol :Dancing_wub: Good luck and have fun

I'm going to check that out. Thanks for the info. My ultimate fantasy of a massage table in my bedroom. I know they fold and unfold. You know I'm going to have some BIG fun. :Dancing_sorry:

[Melolo 0]

HOT DIGGITY DOG!

Donna113 I would like to thank you for making me realize my fantasy of giving and receiving private massages can come true. I will be purchasing a portable massage table. Oh the fun Hubby and I are going to have...Yeeaah! Yahoooo!

Thank You for the info Rodriquezequal.

Thank You to all of the other little people that made this fantasy come true. :Dancing_sorry: I hope I can be an inspiration to you all when it comes to making your freaky fantasies a reality as well. Yes! Yes! Yes! :Dancing_wub:

[Donna113 2]

Melo, you crack me up! :Dancing_sorry:

[Melolo 0]

Melo, you crack me up! :Dancing_sorry:

Donna just think how crazy I'm going to be when I get all of this extra weight off. Oh Boy! We may need to start a thread title "The Secret Lives Of The Lap Band Houswives." or here's another one "Sex and The Lapband," you know a spinoff of "Sex And The City." :Dancing_wub:

[Donna113 2]

We've unleashed a sex fiend! :Dancing_sorry:

This massage thing might be a gateway thing... you know, it starts with an innocent massage and before you know it, it's orgies or nothing at all! :Dancing_wub: