Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Sex addiction?



Recommended Posts

I have been dealing with a whole new issue now that I am well on my way to goal of being at 145lbs. I used to weigh 240. That was just last March. Now i weigh 177. I am not at goal yet but I am starting to feel like this will happen. When I was heavier I kept my urges to myself because I felt gross and not at all sexy. Now I feel a LOT sexier nad I am wanting sex a lot. I feel like a pervert. My husband is thrilled but sometimes I feel like hes thing "Does this girl wanna screw all day long?" I really dont but I am wanting to do it more than 1 time a day. I have also been fantasizing about other men, and having my husband watch. We even rented a video that had a girl giving 3 men head at once. He told me he liked that. I realize that these feelings come from not feeling wanted for so long. Its kind of scarry. I know my husband doesnt want to actually go through with the sexy thoughts and fantasies. He told me so. Not that I would want to rally go for that. I am happy with my current sex life. I just feel like I have woken up a sleeping sex pervert(Me) Has anyone else had this issue?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK, new to this posting thing. Just wanted to say, I havent had the surgery yet, but my biggest fear is when I do I will have these same issues again. I think that I may have gained the weight in the first place to try and stay true to my husband of 12 years. I have always been a bit oversexual. It's possible that right now my inner sex pervert is just hibernating but will awaken as soon as some of the weight is gone. I don't have the answers for you but I do understand your problem.

Andi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that what you are experiencing is a natural urge that has been surpressed while at your largest. I say this because when I first met my husband I did not wiegh as much as I did when I finally made the decision to have the lap band surgery. Having said that, our intimate life was much better and more often back then than what it grew to be as I was gaining 100+ pounds. Honestly, I would say that we were doing it anytime and all the time. But as I grew heavier I stopped having the desire, whether or not I wanted to I didn't because I did not feel good about myself. My husband, on the other hand, has remained steadfast in always wanting to be intimate with me no matter how big or small I was. (He is truly a God send!!!) Now that I have shed some of my wieght, I have noticed that my desires and wanting to initiate it has increased. My suggestion to you at this point is to just keep communicating with your husband and keep him involved in your fantasies. Best wishes!!:confused:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I understand completely. The last time I lost a lot of weight I became sex crazed... for me it was about the power... and the attention. It felt soo good> feeling sexy and desired.

This time I have joined Overeaters Anonymous because I realize now that I had traded one addiction for another and I don't want that to happen since I am happily married this time.

This is my story and only applies to me...but just wanted to let you know that u r not alone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish, I left my libido back somewhere in 1995 after my first baby, sigh.

I dont see it as a problem. Your husband is happy. Neither of you plans on acting out the fantasies in real life. Its not interfering so much in your daily life that you dont have time to do anything else. It sounds more like its just a new experience for you, more so than a real problem.

Enjoy it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just wanted to say you are not alone. But beware it can get ugly because it can turn from watching on tv to acting out in real time and that becomes real addicting i know. the rolls have reveresed on me and my husband now doesn't seem to want it. Donno why try to talk about sex and he clams up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can only hope that this haapens to me, or at least some of it:-) Sex has been a huge issue for my husband an me, he wants it all the time and I don't because I don't have the desire and I don't feel sexy, but he doesn't understand that because he loves me no matter what. He has also accused me of getting it elsewhere becuase he isn't getting it enough, and I have tried to explain to him that it is not him, it is me and if I wanted it I would surely go to him for it, it makes me feel really bad and guilty and this is the one issue we fight about constantly, so I am really hoping for a change once the weight starts coming off.

I don't think it is abonormal it is probably having everything kept inside you for so long and it is now getting a release and going crazy. I say go with it and see what happens, it is very good that you are talking to him about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Counseling. Counseling. Counseling. It's not out of the range of normal to want to test out the new you. If you truly feel that the temptation is unavoidable in the short or long term, then you probably need to talk about this with a third party that isn't vested in you personally. You might just need to talk it through and get some reassurances...or you might truly need some more extensive counseling. But counseling can, and does, make a difference.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×