A Matter of Perspective

mrwindt · October 5, 2003

Hi

I was banded on 8/26/03 and had my first fill on 10/3/03. Between the 2 weeks pre-op diet and the 5 1/2 weeks post-op up until my fill, I lost 40 pounds. I'm thrilled with the loss as I was expecting this to be a very slow process. So 40 pounds for me is a great start. And, I know that the loss will surely slow down. I also know it's just the beginning and I have a very long way to go.

As many people have commented on this and other boards, it's challenging at times when people who know you've had surgery are asking all the time if you've lost weight, if the surgery is "working", how much weight have you lost, etc. etc.

I know I've lost weight. I can tell how my clothes are fitting a little differently - even though I'm still wearing the same clothes. I can tell how much more room is between me and my car's steering wheel. I can also tell when I'm not as out of breath from walking up a flight of stairs. But to most people. they don't see a difference.

On one hand, I get a little frustrated and discouraged by the responses. Especially since I know this is a long road ahead, but am pleased with how far I've come already. It would be nice to hear some positive feedback.

On the other hand, when I step back and think about it - I never wanted people to really notice how I looked before - so why should this be different. I wanted people to respond to me as a person and not how I looked. And certainly not if I gained weight. In fact, I always did my best to try to hide my weight (or what I could hide).

So why should I now want someone to notice that I've lost weight?!? I guess it would be nice to hear some positive feedback. Afterall, this is work. The band may be a tool - but it's all still a lot of work to make it work! But really - I'm doing this all for me. I want to feel better. And along the way, I will hopefully look better.

So... I will try not to listen to any of these comments, including the comments from friends who haven't seen me yet, but expect that with a loss of 40 pounds, they "won't recognize me." They certainly will recognize me - 40 pounds is a great start, but it's only a drop in the bucket. And I have a long, long way to go. So I'll keep telling myself I'm on the right path and feel good knowing it for myself!

Basically, I'm really not one to share so publically. But I decided to go out on a limb and share my experience... Last night, I had to go to a dressy event and wore the same outfit I wore on a cruise in July, just before I started my pre-op diet. While anyone who saw me for the first time, or hadn't seen me in this outfit previoulsy, would not know I lost any weight, I couldn't help but compare the photos. I can see the difference. So, I decided to share the photos - for all of you to see. They are before and after a 40 pound beginning loss.

Thanks for listening.

Mary

Kiera · October 5, 2003

Mary, as one of the banded who is also down about 40 pounds I HEAR on you all of the issues. I know how much better I feel and how much looser my clothes are but aside from my husband nobody else has really noticed.

I have lost a lot of weight in really odd places - like the back of my neck, my calves, under my arms, and my boobs. Those sorts of places are not the ones people pay attention to. I can REALLY see the difference in you in the pictures - but I know exactly what to look for because you appear to have lost in the same ways that I have. The difference show up in your face, neck, chest, and hips in the photo.

As soon as you have lost enough to start buying all new clothes I am sure more people will start to notice. I think sometimes people are afraid to mention anything about weight to someone our size because it would be really embarassing if they were wrong - you know?

dezzyntx · October 5, 2003

Hey Mary, I can tell a difference. You look great. I think people that see us all the time can't tell a difference, but when you see someone you haven't seen for awhile they will notice. Woohoo 40lbs! That is wonderful! Good luck on you journey!

dishdiva · October 5, 2003

I can see the difference!

Congratulations! 40 lbs is awesome!

Elizabeth

Bright · October 5, 2003

Hi Mary - congratulations on your great weight loss so far - I too have a loooong way to go but am so happily surprised at how much of a difference 40lbs makes! I keep thinking about a year from my surgery date and forget about all the mini goals in between - your weight loss REALLY shows - well done! Hope I do as well as you after my op (28th Oct)

soon2bskinny · October 6, 2003

Great Job! 40lbs is an accomplishment. It is very apparent in the pics that you have lost. Sometimes it helps to put inches into perspective. It appears you could have used a dress a couple of sizes smaller. I love having clothes that are actually too big, it feels good doesn't it?

Bunches of Hugs!

Lindaloo · October 6, 2003

You are an inspiration to me! I hope I can be like you and have a fantastic 40 lb loss soon after I am banded!!!!

People who have never had to lose a pound, or people who have five or so pounds they'd like to lose...they truely don't understand things from our perspective. Perhaps, they have been familiar with someone who had RNY surgery and lost 100 lbs in three months or something wild like that. Just as we have to put up with comments from the well meaning but ignorant, or people who are downright rude while we are heavy, we have to put up with them on the way down the scale too.

I just got approved. I'm a little nervous...my husband, who is a loving man, has never had to worry about his weight, ever. And every attempt I've made at weight loss he's tried to micromanage, wanting to know how much I've excercised, what I've eaten, etc. If I didn't lose right away, he was there to tell me that obviously I don't know how to eat, or I wasn't getting my heart rate up high enough. UGGGH!!! He drives me nuts. He has basically told me that he'd support me in this surgery, but if I don't exercise enough and this "fails too" that he will be pissed at me because I didn't get serious enough. How's that for pressure!!!!

I know it's hard to put up with comments from others. Slow and steady wins the race, and you'll get there.

You are already an inspiration to us!!!!

Hugs,

Linda

mrwindt · October 7, 2003

Thanks to all of you who responded.

I think I felt better just posting my thoughts, and I really appreciate all your positive comments. Yes, I know 40 pounds is a good start, and yes, I can tell that I lost. But there are times when I look at the loooooong road ahead and think that I'll never make it.

It's really nice to hear all the positive feedback from my fellow bandsters. I really appreciate your comments.

Mary

gabby · October 29, 2003

Y ou go girl!!! You look great!! Keep us posted, wow I hope I do as good. Thanks for sharing.....may God bless, Gabby

GeezerSue · October 29, 2003

They'll notice; they just won't know WHAT they're noticing. So they'll ask if you have a new hairstyle or if you changed lipstick colors. It will never occur to them that your shirt sleeves "grew" two or three inches. And to me, that's good, because I sure didn't want them to notice when the scale was moving the other way.

However...when you go for your mammogram or eye exam or tax guy or to some other appointment you keep annually, THOSE people will start screaming. After the double-take. And it's fun!

Sue

mello_one · October 31, 2003

I am very pleased for you . Keep up the good work!

jOANNE · November 1, 2003

Mary,

Your weight loss is awesome!!!! I sure everyone does notice. I know friends at work who had the gastric bypass. I think people as the question "have you lost weight" because they are excited for you. I think they just want to talk about it but dont know how else to start out the conversation. People seem to be very fasinated with "weight loss surgery" and dont know to much about it.

You surely can see that 40lb difference in your pictures.

Mary, I live in CT also. Who was your surgeon?

Well Mary, good luck and God bless. Just think, a loss of 40lbs rather than a gain.

Joanne

prk1116 · November 3, 2003

Pictures really do tell the story don't they! I can really tell a difference, keep up the good work Mary!

mrwindt · November 5, 2003

I want to again thank you for all your feedback. I'd also like to share my first big 50 pound milestone, which I hit today! I've been fluctuating for the last month at around the 40-42 pound mark. I had my second fill on Friday and I've just dropped 8 pounds! So, today, exactly 10 weeks after surgery (plus 2 weeks pre-op diet), I hit exactly my first 50 pound weight loss. It was a wonderful feeling!

It's still a long way to go, but I'm thrilled with the start!

Mary:D :D

SisterMadly · November 8, 2003

My husband gets banded later this month. I hope he does as well as you! You look absolutely fabulous. And let me congratulate you on the 50 lb mark. You are an inspiration to us and everyone else on the board.

Tami H.