Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Feeling hopeless



Recommended Posts

Hi..

I was banded just over 4 months ago...I kept going in for fills (mind you my Dr is almost 4 hours away) and then on my 4th fill my Dr realized something was wrong...to make a long story short..my tube had completely disconnected from my band. He had to put me to sleep to go fishing for it and reconnect it...

He put 4ccs in after reconnecting it, and then had another fill yesterday for a total of 5.5..I have the 10cc Realize band...

I still feel nothing!! I had lost 20lbs on the postop diet and have refound 10 of them...I desperately want restriction!!

This entire series of events...fill after fill...surgery again...another fill..

has really taken a toll on me and my family...

I had been so hopeful and excited about this and now I am so depressed.

I have never been quite like this...I really don't want to leave the house, I am so terribly ashamed of myself...I hate my size 20 clothes...I do not love myself like this and have been questioning my husband daily how he can love me...

Sorry, this got long....Not many people supported me in this decision, so I don't feel that I can talk to anyone about the complications I have been having...thank you for reading and letting me vent..

Erika:crying:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you Jack..that is exactly what I need to do...

I need to settle down and defeat the dragon of self pity..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You indicated you didn't have support for your decision...thank you for trusting us enough to share your pain and frustration. Know that we will always be here for you. You can make your band tool your friend...remember while you are doing this for you, your family will benefit also. Have a blessed day...each day is a wonderful new beginning. MarilynC

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nortone,

I am struggling too... 10 months out and have only lost 34ish pounds.

I am not exactly depressed, but more disappointed in myself. I try to stay positive though and continue to try and figure this thing out. I have had some problems (no restriction, potential leak, hard to find port, sucky job). All excuses though, keeping me from being 100% accountable for what I am sticking in my mouth.

Keep the faith. Start each day with new resolve, and pray that you can stick with it longer or better then the day before.

Good luck and my prayers are with you, me and all those who are struggling....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I too have had a difficult to access port...

I am going in again in 2 weeks for another fill...so hopefully I will feel something this time!!!

Doing any better??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's not easy Erika when there's a hiccup with the band. I had to be rebanded in July and I have to say I am having a hard time staying motivated this time around. I guess we just have to hang in there until we find a way to get back on track.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always feel good about life, just not my weight, and sometimes I let the weight creep into the other parts of my life. That stinks....

Anyway, I am not doing any better with my diet. I have eaten healthfully, but just to much, so I am not losing any weight. The thing that gets me is I work so hard to have lots of good Protein (meat and other), good and Vitamin rich fruits and veggies. But every day something throws me just off track enough that my calories go up to 1700-1900 and I don't lose weight (but I am happy I am not gaining either).

I just wish I could stop undermining myself. I have started talking in my head a little when I get the urge for a couple pieces of chocolate, stuff like, you don't need that crap, that stuff is really bad for you, it is poison.... It has worked a little bit, but last night I totally blew a great day by binging on chocolate when I was trapped at work until 9:30pm with no decent food, after a 12.5 hour day.

Anyway, it is a new day....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One other thing too... I am telecommuting today so I will eat healthy (there is nothing bad in the house)... Anyway, my friend, who went to the band informational seminar with me, chose not to be banded and started on Optifast in April. She has lost 51 lbs so far. I gotta say, I am a little pissed...

Now granted, I eat like a normal person, where she is in the diet now, she eats one normal meal a day and drinks the rest, and she had a much higher BMI then I had, but still....

I really am happy for her, just sad for me......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nortone, I feel for you...I have almost no restriction at 6cc/14cc band. I hope you get on track now and find your success!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi..

I was banded just over 4 months ago...I kept going in for fills (mind you my Dr is almost 4 hours away) and then on my 4th fill my Dr realized something was wrong...to make a long story short..my tube had completely disconnected from my band. He had to put me to sleep to go fishing for it and reconnect it...

He put 4ccs in after reconnecting it, and then had another fill yesterday for a total of 5.5..I have the 10cc Realize band...

I still feel nothing!! I had lost 20lbs on the postop diet and have refound 10 of them...I desperately want restriction!!

This entire series of events...fill after fill...surgery again...another fill..

has really taken a toll on me and my family...

I had been so hopeful and excited about this and now I am so depressed.

I have never been quite like this...I really don't want to leave the house, I am so terribly ashamed of myself...I hate my size 20 clothes...I do not love myself like this and have been questioning my husband daily how he can love me...

Sorry, this got long....Not many people supported me in this decision, so I don't feel that I can talk to anyone about the complications I have been having...thank you for reading and letting me vent..

Erika:crying:

You have my very best wishes. As long as there is breath, there is hope. Don't give up. When you're 'walking through Hell, don't stop walking.'

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×