People close to you now the "food police"?

Illiana · July 8, 2008

I was banded on June 23rd and I am doing great! I lost 21lbs. However my father very traditional Mexican man (Think Archie Bunker). Has been picking on me non stop..worst than before when I was just eating badly. Everytime I sit down to eat he says "Dont eat all of that!".."Oh you just going to start stuffing your face again" "You were doing good before now your doing what you did before"...

I was on Clear liquids prior and right after surgery. Now I am on full liquids and soft foods... I still am not hitting 1000 cals a day.. I cannot eat very much at all...and I got "yelled" at by him today because I was eating 3 forkfuls of Salmon and 2 forkfuls of a baked potato.

He thinks that I should be just eating clear broth and popsicles..and SALADS (yea right..I cannot get that down right now!) and that is it.

He makes me feel bad and I grow to dislike him more and more , however thats how we are always going to be. But I am sick of peopl playing the food police with me... it is not in a "helpful" waythat they tell me these things..it is in a MEAN way.

I dont get it... I have had NO SUPPORT except for my poor mother who is rooting me on. Anyone else dealing with this??? :biggrin::mad::eek::mad::eek::thumbup::cursing:

KarenG. · July 8, 2008

I am so sorry. That sounds terrible. Can you arrange to eat by yourself? I find eating by myself so much more relaxing these days.

gg2007BandSTAR · July 8, 2008

I know excatly how you feel, people watching every single bite of what you eat. Even when its healthy things...it used to really get me upset, especially when its close family. Sometimes i would deliberately not eat in front of them, just so i wouldn't have to hear there comments. I mean i a fully grown woman, and if i want to put something in my mouth, its my choice. Right now i couldn't care less what they say...especially as they don't support me.

Carry on doing your thing hun, and dont let them get to you. Keep focused on where you want to get to, and dont let them get in your way, you have come to far for that.

xx

Illiana · July 8, 2008

Thank you so much... Im trying hard.. but I think that eating alone is going to work better for me..God bless you!

daisybug · July 8, 2008

You are doing GREAT so far Illiana !! YOU GO GIRL ! Don't let your Dad get to you. (easier said than done) Focus on yourself and definitely eat alone or with your Mom.

maybe one day,, you could sit your Dad down and have a discussion about how he is NOT helping with his comments. OR you could write him a letter. Just a suggestion! It is bad to keep stuff bottled inside yourself,, YELL BACK !! :biggrin: :lol:

keep up the good work.. u can do it.

278/231/180

To be free · July 8, 2008

OMG! I feel the same way. My Dad has picked at me about what I have eaten or eat ever since about the age of 7 when my weight problems began. Although this is a man who made me sit there and eat everything on my plate (not that I blame him).

Problem is he has gotten even worse since the surgery.....I grilled out some sea scallops on skewers and had two on my plate .....well he went off...."your going to eat both of those" and on and on about everything......of course I was only three weeks out and could only eat 4 scallops but I had taken them for the few meals (my favorite thing to mush with my fork)

Even in the hospital he had asked me if the Jello was sugar free........

I don't know what the deal is........I think in my case he partly blames himself....he has mentioned that before to my husband when I had Lipo 10 years ago when I managed to get to a desirable weight (for about a year LOL).

I am right there with ya!!! I figured out this weekend when he came back that no reaction to his picking was the best........shut him right up.....

I remember when I was telling him that I was going to get the surgery and about it but that for a small number of people it doesn't work.......He told me that it was imposible and that if I don't succeed it will be because I didn't try hard enough...........

Oh well, I guess I need to get of my soap box........I think you hit a nerve LOL.

Brandy~ · July 8, 2008

I think you should sign up for a local support group and have your dad be your support person... Take him to a few meetings and share your feelings with him.

Honesty is the only thing that is going to curb his attitude. You really need to talk to him and not when you're both upset or irritated with each other.

elle · July 8, 2008

I feel bad for you. I guess this is why my doctor told me not to tell anyone about my band. Its a private thing and I don't want any comments from people. My husband told everyone he is dieting (because he can't eat the same way) with his band and his friends are policing his food when he eats with them. It makes me so aggravated, that i would eat to spite anyone who tells me not to. If I were in your situation either I would try to eat privately or tell your father in a nice way that this is what your doctor is requiring you to eat and you must follow his instructions.

Shalee04 · July 8, 2008

I was banded on June 23rd and I am doing great! I lost 21lbs. However my father very traditional Mexican man (Think Archie Bunker). Has been picking on me non stop..worst than before when I was just eating badly. Everytime I sit down to eat he says "Dont eat all of that!".."Oh you just going to start stuffing your face again" "You were doing good before now your doing what you did before"...
I was on Clear Liquids prior and right after surgery. Now I am on full liquids and soft foods... I still am not hitting 1000 cals a day.. I cannot eat very much at all...and I got "yelled" at by him today because I was eating 3 forkfuls of Salmon and 2 forkfuls of a baked potato.

He thinks that I should be just eating clear broth and popsicles..and SALADS (yea right..I cannot get that down right now!) and that is it.

He makes me feel bad and I grow to dislike him more and more , however thats how we are always going to be. But I am sick of peopl playing the food police with me... it is not in a "helpful" waythat they tell me these things..it is in a MEAN way.

I dont get it... I have had NO SUPPORT except for my poor mother who is rooting me on. Anyone else dealing with this??? :biggrin::mad::eek::mad::eek::thumbup::cursing:

I'm sorry your going thru this with your father. But you are 31 yrs old and don't need his bullying you. Also maybe he needs to be educated on the bandsters diet. sit down and have a serious talk with him, show him the paperwork from Drs on food plan and stages we are supposed to follow.

Not to excuse his behavior, but maybe he just doesn't know how to express his concern in a loving manner.

Good luck to you.

Esmeralda · July 8, 2008

In a hispanic family many times our loved ones try to help and their way of helping is by making rude comments like the ones you dad is making but you have to realize that deep inside they don't mean it that way, if they didnt care they would'nt even comment about if you are eating good or bad. My mom always made comments like "when are you going to stop eating" or "your going to be sorry later but eat it anyways" but now that I have my kids I always stop and think about the way I tell them about their eating habits so they don't have the same problem I did with my parents. Please don't take it as no support I would just take it as a compliment and show your dad that it doesnt bother you and you are going to do great like you have been so far. Good luck!!

By the way I am over 3 years out and know my mom tells me "your face looks ugly are you going to keep lossing" or "look at your legs they are to skinny" so hey we can't win.

WASaBubbleButt · July 9, 2008

I was banded on June 23rd and I am doing great! I lost 21lbs. However my father very traditional Mexican man (Think Archie Bunker). Has been picking on me non stop..worst than before when I was just eating badly. Everytime I sit down to eat he says "Dont eat all of that!".."Oh you just going to start stuffing your face again" "You were doing good before now your doing what you did before"...
I was on Clear Liquids prior and right after surgery. Now I am on full liquids and soft foods... I still am not hitting 1000 cals a day.. I cannot eat very much at all...and I got "yelled" at by him today because I was eating 3 forkfuls of Salmon and 2 forkfuls of a baked potato.

He thinks that I should be just eating clear broth and popsicles..and SALADS (yea right..I cannot get that down right now!) and that is it.

He makes me feel bad and I grow to dislike him more and more , however thats how we are always going to be. But I am sick of peopl playing the food police with me... it is not in a "helpful" waythat they tell me these things..it is in a MEAN way.

I dont get it... I have had NO SUPPORT except for my poor mother who is rooting me on. Anyone else dealing with this??? :wink2::wink::mad::tongue2::mad::thumbup::cursing: