Unless you’ve been through this, you couldn’t possibly understand. I’ve been posting about waiting for referrals, which gives me plenty of time to alternate between doubting myself, feeling depressed about my fat, and wanting to be banded so much I can hardly stand it.

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So what do I do? I eat. I know it’s emotional eating, and I write about it and all the issues I have around it. I can relate to so many of the things people wrote in the thread, “Why am I fat”?

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Anyway, would be very interested in hearing about people’s binges, or just everyday eating habits, before you were banded, or if, like me, you’re waiting, and are struggling with food.

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Today, for example, I had two packs of doughnettes, (sp) M&M’s, (two packs) two packs of oreos, (six in a pack) and two Snickers bars. I know it’s emotional eating. I’m frustrated because nothing’s happening; I’m scared it might; I don’t feel like I’ll ever change, and I know a lot of it was from childhood, when there wasn’t always food to eat, and I’m over compensating now. But I’m looking for something to replace food, and I think having the band as a tool, and exercise, which I do halfheartedly now, might make a difference I guess I just need to know I’m not alone. .

Unless you’ve been through this, you couldn’t possibly understand. I’ve been posting about waiting for referrals, which gives me plenty of time to alternate between doubting myself, feeling depressed about my fat, and wanting to be banded so much I can hardly stand it.

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So what do I do? I eat. I know it’s emotional eating, and I write about it and all the issues I have around it. I can relate to so many of the things people wrote in the thread, “Why am I fat”?

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Anyway, would be very interested in hearing about people’s binges, or just everyday eating habits, before you were banded, or if, like me, you’re waiting, and are struggling with food.

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Today, for example, I had two packs of doughnettes, (sp) M&M’s, (two packs) two packs of oreos, (six in a pack) and two Snickers bars. I know it’s emotional eating. I’m frustrated because nothing’s happening; I’m scared it might; I don’t feel like I’ll ever change, and I know a lot of it was from childhood, when there wasn’t always food to eat, and I’m over compensating now. But I’m looking for something to replace food, and I think having the band as a tool, and exercise, which I do halfheartedly now, might make a difference I guess I just need to know I’m not alone. .

I know how it is but once I started learning about the lapband I stopped eating horribly all together. I want food and I crave it, I want chips, I want candy bars...but I don't do it because I know if I am in the process of trying to get things done and pig out because I have to wait for my 6 month period to be over I would ruin everything and have to start all over.

If I am craving something I eat sugar free chocolate pudding or drink Water. Or go walk or get online. I do something to keep my hands preoccupied as well as my mind. It works. I don't want to ruin the good that I am already having even though I won't be banded until November.

oh honey, im so sorry you are having such a hard time. your story sounds like mine not too long ago. first, take a deep breath, and think to yourself: all things that are meant to be will find a way.

now, when i emotionally ate, (i say ate because i cant eat near the volume of food i used to, but i still emotional eat) i would eat a large pizza from pizza hut in one night. then i would have the 2 liter pepsi i ordered with it (not diet mind you) and then usually i would have at least 1 or 2 candy bars before retiring to bed. emotional eating is an addiction, and just like ANY addiction, you cant just walk away from it, and again like any addiction, it gets worse when you are stressed, sad, mad, whatever.

i couldnt do this alone. an eating addiction is a little more tricky than other addictions. i wont say harder because drug,alcohol, etc. are incredibly hard to beat as well. the difference is though is that an eating addiction is still IN YOUR FACE all the time. you cant just walk away from it. you HAVE to eat. it was my drug of choice as it is yours and pretty much everyone else on this site.

know that there are others out there that are going through the same exact, IDENTICAL struggle you are going through, and if not now, they were at some point. i will be sending good wishes your way. keep us all posted on what progresses with your surgery!!!!!!!!!!

Hi, I go on line also. It's very distracting and the time flys by. From Jan-April while I was waiting for my approval via the insurance company, I wasn't really pigging out but I wasn't dieting either. I was border line into the 40 with no major health problems, and I was fearful that if I even lost 5-10 pounds I would not be a candidate for the surgery. My surgery is scheduled for July 24. July 10 I start a 2 week liquid diet. I'm nervous and excited. The only time I have ever really not eaten food is when I was giving blood or doing blood work, and that was for only 12 hours. But today at work, I was reminded that the liquids could be very doable. At least during work hours. I work in non air conditioning. So today when it got to 86 and muggy, I really didn't feel like eating food. For breakfast at 7am I had a protein bar, at 9am I had a bag of chili cheese fritios, and at lunch 11:30 I had a 32 oz gatorade. Came home fell asleep on the sofa and then had country style ribs on the grill. I was alittle worried that I would be starving, but was quickly reminded that when it's hot like today or hotter like it will be later, food just isn't that appealing. NOW TO NOT SOUND LIKE A SAINT.............

There are some days where all I want is CANDY!!! I can sit down and eat 4 candy bars, and then crave still more. I'm trying to slow down and wait at least 10 minutes after I am finished to see if I am really still hungary or not. Some days are bad, some days are good. Hope this helps. Susan:cool2:

thank you all for the replies. I needed to hear that I'm not alone. Jack, your words were, and are, very inspirational.. I can come back to this post and read all of your words, and they will help. thank you all!

To some degree this behaviour will be with some of us forever. I can identify with the feelings, the reasons and the binges, although mine were never as big as some describe. That doesnt matter, I still ate mountains of terrible food in an effort to stifle something. I ate inappropriately, till I was stuffed and I felt simply awful about it but was powerless to stop.

I still dont know what my reason/s were. I still do it, but like Jack says, when i choose to just do it anyway its hardly what an unbanded person would call a binge. I can however eat an entire packet of Cookies still! And I can eat most of a family block of chocolate. I've done so on occasion.

But when it's done much much less frequently it doesnt affect my weight. I just accept it, its going to happen, I know I eat like that when I'm stressed out.

Something about being fit and thin though has given me a real respect for my body and the desire to treat it like that has lessened amazingly, I'd get the urge to have a bit of a pig out maybe once every two months now, not daily. I just go with it. I'm a former fat person, I will ALWAYS be a former fat person and that means I've got some issues around food that many people dont have and I dont really think I'll ever solve them. But not everyone out there is walking around normal weight because they're completely sane and have no food issues! And I figure I dont smoke and I'm not an alcoholic, eating was my thing, for other's its something different. I'm not a lesser person because of it.

Being banded DOES help this disorder, it really does. It doesnt cure it but it gives you the strength to take a breath and see what you're doing to yourself.

Hi Serenity,

You have received some great answers! Please also take advantage of the counselling at the clinic. I had bit of a "relapse" when my boss went to Vegas and left me in charge. It was not pretty! I happened to had had an appointment that week at the clinic anyway, told them how under stress my eating was out of control, and I have an psych. appt. at the clinic. Don't be afraid to ask for help. My favorite words, stolen for Betty Davis regarding growing old, I changed them a little:

lap bands are not for sissies!

Froggie1985, I need structure, so I think that I would benefit from being on the six month nutritional journey. I think it’s wonderful that you have found things to help with the cravings It also gives me time, something I should remember now, to keep working on this struggle with food. .

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Lifechange1982, thank you for your honest and openness about eating the way you did. I’m really hopeful, and willing to work, if I could just know for sure I have the band as a goal to work toward—if that makes sense.

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Linksmom, your words were really helpful and give me hope.

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Again, thank you everyone.

Jacqui, it sounds like you are really gentle with yourself, and there’s a lesson in that for me, when I am banded, and even now. I’ll just keep on trying, even when I feel like I’m failing, which I tend to forget.

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Maryrose, I do have a therapist, though I haven’t talked to her for quite a while because of money issues. I think it might be time to give her a call, though, I did write to her and mention possibly having the lap band procedure. Her response was that she didn’t think I needed it, but I don’t think she realizes how much I weigh. I’m going to talk to her and if she won’t understand, which I don’t think will happen, I guess I’ll need to look for someone else.

Serenety55 No my gosh you are not alone. I was so concerned about this too. I also gained a 2 pounds back. Called my dr. office talked to the Nurse she told me that I may need a band adjustment. I go for one on June 2nd. Also water hasn't been filling me up because I thought that it would fill me up. I was also told that the first fill may not be enough. But dont worry. I will let you know how it works out for me after my 2nd adjustment. I have lost 33 pounds as of right now. I am happy to say I can see my feet again Also I am in a 12/14 pair of pants haven't been in that size for 15 years. What a feeling.

"Unless you’ve been through this, you couldn’t possibly understand. I’ve been posting about waiting for referrals, which gives me plenty of time to alternate between doubting myself, feeling depressed about my fat, and wanting to be banded so much I can hardly stand it."

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Wow you described me to a T!!! I feel the same way. I go around and around about being banded then when I'm sure I get angry because it takes so darn long. Ugh... I feel your pain!

Deb

I was recently banded after waiting 1 year from my initial visit with the Dr. I ate great the first couple of months thinking it would happen soon. Then winter came and I ate...alot... I gained 15lbs over the winter. Whwn I got the call that I had been approved (after I called a half dozen times in that year!) I started eating better again, feeling some hope! I went to the Dr and he set my date as May 19th. Earlier than I planned on then. Well, 2 weeks out and I can say I am not sorry at all. The gas pains are gone, I have lost 15lbs. and am off almost all diabetic meds and prevacid for heartburn.

I am the kids of person that beats myself up for every little mistake (eating especially). This surgery has helped me change my attitude toward food. (I still want to eat, just HATE to vomit, so I take it real slow and eat very small amounts.) Everyone's body is different, so we can't tell you what is right for you, I just know that for me, God led me to this surgery and this hope and I am not going to let go! I'm sure I'll mess up ...alot...but I know this is my chance to lose the weight and get off all the prescriptions for high BP, cholesterol, etc.

Keep your chin up and hold on to the hope! My year waiting was agonizing, but FINALLY, things are happening!!:thumbup::smile2::cool2:

Bonbon

SHARONCRIS , yes, please let us know how things go for you. Congratulations on losing 33 pounds.

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Deb, (great name!) I’m glad there’s someone else who’s going through what I’m experiencing, not glad that we have to deal with this, though.

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Bonbon, thank you for the words of encouragement. I know I might have to wait a long time, and I think I said somewhere else that I’m going to try to use this time to do as much soulsearching as I can, and try to get ahead of the game. I know that when it actually is time for me to be banded, I’m going to be terrified! <o:p></o:p>

U know what i have been there before... It was a while ago i was so sick of being fat i thought if i ate all the junk food that i wanted I would eventually get sick and stop eating and u know what on that day I ate a 1/2 pack of oreo's a big bag of okedoke cheese popcorn w/dorito's and hot sauce.. a 1/2 pound of m&m's peanut, ice-cream, a deep fried pizza puff, mini peanut butter cups.. and diet pepsi... lol.. yes diet pepsi... I ate so much i actually threw up i was as sick as a dog.... I dont know if that helped me not to eat so much crap, but i prayed that everytime i would eat that kind of crap i would get sick and i would so that did slow me down... but it is totally mental and u will over come it.....It is a struggle everyday..because I know that I gained all of the weight that i have from eating junk food

Thank you, mstrina27. I hate throwing up, so maybe that will help me when I get the band. I love the honesty on this site!