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Betrayal is a BITCH



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WOW I read this during my days off. All I can say is: I'm sorry, sad, happy, worried, freaked, happy, amazed, proud, and congratulations. My sister-in-law and her DH live in Middle River and work for SS, when we come to visit them. I would be thrilled to meet you. I haven't been through what you have my DH believes in his marriage vows. But, we've had other issues in our 21 yrs. Good luck and many blessings. Waynette

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Thanks everyone...here is the latest...I had a bilateral breast ultrasound which did not come back too favorable so I have to undergo 3 biopsies next week...I'm terrified because I feel that they strongly believe that the cancer has returned (at least in the right breast, which is where it was before). I have been informed that if it has returned that he will be taking the entire breast and that hit me hard...I know it's for the best but it's still hard to hear. He said because IF it is positive that means that it has returned in less than 1 1/2 years and I also carry the BRCA II gene and that is the best course of action. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying harder than I ever have before. I appreciate all of your well wishes and prayers...they are very much appreciated!!!!!

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UPDATE:

BENIGN BABY!!!!! I'M CANCER FREE!!!!

Thank you for all of the prayers...they worked!!!! Now I get to concentrate on my baby that will be joining this world in 12 short weeks!!!! Whoop Whoop

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Thats the BEST News!!! Congrats i'm so happy for you!!!!

UPDATE:

BENIGN BABY!!!!! I'M CANCER FREE!!!!

Thank you for all of the prayers...they worked!!!! Now I get to concentrate on my baby that will be joining this world in 12 short weeks!!!! Whoop Whoop

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There are to many good men out there to stay with someone you can't trust. Staying with someone "for the kids" doesn't work because you become unhappy and the kids suffer. Kids are better off with divorce parents than parents who can't be happy together. You have to make you happy and then everything else will fall into place. So when he gets something that requires medical assistance you can laugh because you were not stupid enough to sleep with him again.

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Okay, I'm gonna be honest here...no sugar coating. What he did was wrong. Sure he's sorry, that he got caught. The fact that this affair went on for such a long period of time means that at no point in that year and a half was he sorry. Now he is? Sorry, but I'm not buying it. I'd say ditch him. Ur boys need to know what it means to respect a woman, and their father is NOT that example. Every single time u are together, u will be sick wondering if he's thinking of her. Was she prettier than u? What does she have that u don't? U will forever be consumed with checking up on him, and the fighting and your depression/anxiety is not good for your boys. I'm not trying to pour salt in the wound, just saying....10 yrs wasted. Y make it 15 or 20? What's done is done. Take your hot self and find a man who will cherish and respect u. Best of luck sweetie!

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I am so sorry you ate going through that. My marriage of 18 years is ending, because my husband was seeing a friend if mine. I am now separated & working 3 jobs to make ends meet. I feel your pain... And it sucks big time. However in the end we'll pick up & move forward.... Looking way hotter :)

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sending (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))).

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I understand your pain. My husband went through a midlife crisis 12 yrs ago. cheated. I went to alanon 12 step group for support and I was told to give it a year and not make hasty decision. Alanon's program healped me alot with the support and self reflection.We are still married and he has not cheated again. You need to do what is best for you. Sometimes men(when they are doubting what they have known) go temporarily nuts. Your weight loss probably threatened him and he needed someone to reassure his fragil ego. This is not your fault.You didn't cause this, you can't control this, you can't cure this. It was his character defect. If you allow him to stay in your life he needs to do everything to regain your trust. It is possible.

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Wowza, just read this whole thread (boring morning at work). What a journey!! I will continue to follow your progress and can't wait to hear how the new baby is when he gets here!!

Signed, New Groupie ;)

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Thanks ladies but some of you didn't realize that this thread was started a long time ago...I have been divorced now for almost two years, I'm engaged and I'm 31 weeks pregnant...in between all that I was diagnosed and beat breast cancer...I'm a survivor in more ways than one ;-) I have been through just about everything you can think of...lol...thanks for all the well wishes...my 3rd son will join my new family in 9 short weeks and I couldn't be happier :-)

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Now you will have to change your name to mumof3boys.... congratulations on your new little one and new life :)

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Best wishes with the new bambino.

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Thanks. I had a doctors appointment yesterday and I will deliver my baby on May 15 ( just three weeks from today). Keep praying that everythng is alright with him...I appreciate all of the prayers ;-)

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Been reading your story im sending prayers gor birth if your son. Thats around time im having my surgery.. good luck

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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