Coping with Body Image Issues

[pashmina 0]

How do you cope with new body image issues post-band?

Maybe you don't have them at all. I definitely do! I've gone from a size 18/20 to 12 or 14 so far depending on the brand, but I hate looking at myself in the mirror...moreso than I did when I was fat.

It's like the fat was a layer of protection, a defense. I grew to accept the way I looked and was ok with it. Now I see that increasingly sagging marsupial pouch and various other accoutrements that I'll have to deal with for at least another year until my weight plateaus (only 7 months out) and I feel downright ugly.

So...how do you deal? Shopping in "normal size" stores feels great...but the happiness as a result is fleeting.

[coltonwade 27]

Totally understand what you mean . I am the same size you are now as well.

I went from a 22/24 to a 14 ( Like you said depending on why you ask LOL)

Although i cant say I like myself LESS, because i am pleased with my weight loss, I dont like the way I look either. if that makes sense ?

I Like parts of me i should say . I dont like my stomach " apron" that has gotten smaller but is still there and will need to be removed, I dont like my boobs that are getting smaller and are hanging lower.

I dont like my arms that are getting smaller and hanging lower !

What gets me "through" or tides me over is I KNOW im having plastic surgery when im done. Also I dont know about you but i still feel like a fat person out place in the "normal" stores. I was just at Rue 21 this weekend ( its more of a teen store but their sizes go to 14) i was there with my son , i was trying things on , mainly just to see if i could , i bought 2 pairs of pants, I sort of still felt like the "Fat girl in the little store" do you ?

A friend of mine and I were talking about this very thing this weekend. Body image issues. she said she was not happy when she was 140 pds "back in the day " I told her " I was not happy when i was 110 pds Back in the day " But what i would give to BE 150 again . One thing i said though is MAYBE JUST Maybe being over weight and going back down again will make us appreciate the 150 pds again ? Or what ever our final end Goal is ?

Maybe not but its a thought.

Anyway , i totally understand what you feel and your not alone !

Mindy

[pashmina 0]

I know exactly what you're saying, Mindy. It's not that I don't like myself...it's that I am deflated emotionally by the way certain areas look. I console myself at times with the thought of plastic surgery (and even though I know it will be a while before I can get it, I'm going for a consultation next week to get an actual MD's opinion on my specific situatino), but because of the way I've scarred with the band surgery, I'm discouraged.

I DO still feel out of place in the normal size stores. I'm used to being ignored there. I'm also adjusting to the comments I hear around me now that people would have been more sensitive too when I was huge (i.e. last week bartender making fat person comment, etc...) It's strange that I'm not seen that way anymore, so people don't tiptoe around their disparaging remarks on others.

I remember being unhappy when I was 130. LOL- what I wouldn't give. Don't get me wrong, I'm really, really pleased with the weight of lost and proud of myself, but I'm still averting my eyes from the full-length mirror. I guess I still feel like that person in some ways.

[coltonwade 27]

I know exactly what you're saying, Mindy. It's not that I don't like myself...it's that I am deflated emotionally by the way certain areas look. I console myself at times with the thought of plastic surgery (and even though I know it will be a while before I can get it, I'm going for a consultation next week to get an actual MD's opinion on my specific situatino), but because of the way I've scarred with the band surgery, I'm discouraged.

I DO still feel out of place in the normal size stores. I'm used to being ignored there. I'm also adjusting to the comments I hear around me now that people would have been more sensitive too when I was huge (i.e. last week bartender making fat person comment, etc...) It's strange that I'm not seen that way anymore, so people don't tiptoe around their disparaging remarks on others.

I remember being unhappy when I was 130. LOL- what I wouldn't give. Don't get me wrong, I'm really, really pleased with the weight of lost and proud of myself, but I'm still averting my eyes from the full-length mirror. I guess I still feel like that person in some ways.

Pash... I think getting a consult because of scarring is a good idea. I personally would look at the scars this way , what would be better the excess skin issues or the scars ? maybe think of it that way ? the scars now the way they do them are usually out of site with undies on . But the doc will be able to tell you more, i would even go to more than one to get different opinions. Some docs can do things others cant, some docs scars look better, pay attention to their scars when your looking at them .

Im more sensitive to the "fat' comments myself as well.

A friend of mine put it well a while ago she said " your mind has not caught up with your body yet " speaking of the weight loss. I asked a man to move this weekend to give me more room to pass him when I had a Football field between him and the wall ! My friend laughed and said i even went thru Side ways when i had LOTS of room to walk through " normal" that's the fat person in me coming out @

Feel free to PM me if you need support or someone to talk to

Mindy

[snowbird 2]

I think we lumped all our imperfections under the "obese" category before, and now we get to nitpick ourselves to death. My nose is too big, look at those wrinkles, my skin sags. I realized today that I am more uncomfortable with the thought of going out in a swimsuit now than I was last summer, because of the sagging skin. Women are so hard on themselves!

[coltonwade 27]

Yes I agree that is a good way to put it . now its not im fat its my stomach is saggy my boobs are hanging and my arms wave back at me .

good way to put it ! Thanks snow bird

Mindy

[KarenG. 0]

I am having a lot of body anxiety - also down to a size 12. I really am not sure where it stems from because I know that I must look better but I look in the mirror and feel the same. Actually, I feel almost worse than the same --- ugly. The loose skin makes me so sad for some reason.

I also get irritated when people tell me that I look thin now - I don't feel thin. Also not sure why this irritates me so much since I would have loved such a compliment before...

I am having a PS consult in a few weeks - a little earlier than I planned because I need a hernia repair also.

[aubrie 6]

I had begun to psych myself out to accept the inevitable surgery on my mud flap arms. I asked my band surgeon about it and have even poked into how much I will have to save to have it done. (My arms bother me WAY more than my tummy) I was almost to total acceptance when I saw a girl at the grocery store with a long scar down the back of her arm. I thought to myself. GOD that scar looks bad. I wonder if she had plastics for weight loss..... I thought, no, it's a really bad scar. It must be an accident. I wait to see if she has it on the other arm. (the scar was the width of my thumb and the length of her upper arm!!) Well, low and behold the other arm had an identical scar. HORROR!!! She did have plastic surgery. I freaked out. I would rather have mud flaps than have scars like that. So now I'm backing away from having it done and am totally gun shy. The timing was just so coincidental.

[coltonwade 27]

I had begun to psych myself out to accept the inevitable surgery on my mud flap arms. I asked my band surgeon about it and have even poked into how much I will have to save to have it done. (My arms bother me WAY more than my tummy) I was almost to total acceptance when I saw a girl at the grocery store with a long scar down the back of her arm. I thought to myself. GOD that scar looks bad. I wonder if she had plastics for weight loss..... I thought, no, it's a really bad scar. It must be an accident. I wait to see if she has it on the other arm. (the scar was the width of my thumb and the length of her upper arm!!) Well, low and behold the other arm had an identical scar. HORROR!!! She did have plastic surgery. I freaked out. I would rather have mud flaps than have scars like that. So now I'm backing away from having it done and am totally gun shy. The timing was just so coincidental.

The scar is why i dont want the arm surgery , I saw a girl at my docs office and did the same thing ! About the time i got up the nerve to ask her how bad was the surgery she got called back .

As for the scars , there are some i have seen that are ok. Ya GOTTA pick a good surgeon , Also i have seen there is a new procedure ( I dont know how new it is ) where the scar is under the arm pit ?

Mindy

[juliegeraci 7]

Love yourself no matter what weight you are. You are a child of God.

[chica 2]

I hope by the time I lose most of this excess weight that they've got that new arm procedure down. I have upper arms that look like they belong to someone 100lbs bigger than I am. They've always been freakishly larger than they should be (even when I was at a "normal" weight). But I agree... When I've seen people who've had their flaps removed, the scars are just way too scary. But they say the scarring really fades after a year or two. Does anyone here know anyone who's had the newer procedure done?

[Kat817 19]

I've heard only a few people are able to get satisfactory results out of the new arm surgery. In my case I keloid scar---so it is not an option....

I am waiting now to hear from my insurance on my TT.....praying for a good letter to come!!! My stomach is interfering in my exercise, my quality of life now, so it has to go.....

But I hear what you girls are saying....I sat in my chair the other night, and was reading a book, I flipped sideways with my legs over the arm of the chair, and went----wow!! Look how much room I have in this chair--I was feeling on top of the world---til I walked in the bedroom and saw this belly hanging-----awwww crap---------nothing has changed!!!

Feelin' it!

Kat

[coltonwade 27]

I hope by the time I lose most of this excess weight that they've got that new arm procedure down. I have upper arms that look like they belong to someone 100lbs bigger than I am. They've always been freakishly larger than they should be (even when I was at a "normal" weight). But I agree... When I've seen people who've had their flaps removed, the scars are just way too scary. But they say the scarring really fades after a year or two. Does anyone here know anyone who's had the newer procedure done?

I am not 100% sure but I THINK Dr LaMonaco MIGHT do the new procedure.

My thinking is you might have to have a "certain" type of need to have it done ? It looks like to me that you would need a lift of sorts but not skin removal for this to work ? I dont know though ?

Mindy

[pashmina 0]

I agree about surgeon research. I have done mine and (I think) found an excellent one. His before/after pics have impressed me more than any others, and his manner is professional as well as comforting. I think it's because he specializes in post-weight loss patients.

I can deal with a raised/red/thicker scar on my tummy. Not a fleur-de-lis, but a horizontal scar that is covered over by panties/swimwear is a-ok by me. The problem I am really having is with the boobs. They look fabulous in a bra, but when I take it off, not so much. Sag city. I can't handle thick, raised, red hook scars on my breasts. I'm sure that sounds really vain, but I just can't. I'm seeing a derma in a couple of weeks to work on the scars I already have...laser therapy for lightening, steroid injections for flattening. I am going to wait and see how my scars react to that treatment, as well as my plastics consult to decide on the breasts.

It's just....sad. I want the perfect remedy, and I want it all at once.

[pashmina 0]

Sorry, meant anchor, not hook. Those scars are hard enough when you scar well...but when you don't?