Shrinkin' Violets- Part 2 Read Here

Kat817 · March 19, 2008

Divorce and kids suck Pamela! I have a 6 year old granddaughter I would love to see. But her Mom is not willing for that to happen. She was so-so, off and on with visits before our son got married again. But she had left him, and went back with her ex! Now she has left the ex, had another child with an extremely different looking fella---he is a Goth dressing, gay mortician. First time I saw him, I swear I thought it was a girl, and I thought her pants were painted on----no joke! When I was told it was a guy----me, being me---looked for proof of that in those tight pants!! Still couldn't have proved it by me!!! BUT he apparantly is, because my former DIL had his child. Now she has been living with a woman, and says she has known she was a lesbian since she was 7 years old. And we don't get to see our granddaughter. All 3of her kids have different Dads, and none get to see the kids anymore. Daddy to the first one, used to get his son and our granddaughter, and bring them to see us....he saw us in the same boat he was in--but now he doesn't get them either. They spend most of their time I understand with her parents. My son should pursue it, but it is one of those subjects we ALWAYS fight about. Like you Pamela, I keep thinking in time it will get better---not so sure about that anymore!

We are having the kids over for Easter---and inviting our parents, and my brother, and that is it! Not sure if his parents will come, I doubt it, I imagine they will sit at home and pout that we have divided the family. I do not have a huge house anymore---and with all 3 kids, their spouses, and 3 kids...and parents and brother, my house is full! I refuse to be intimidated into inviting the rest of the family!

We thought about grilling, but with Easter so early, it is still pretty cold---so will do the usual Easter fare-----ham......blah, blah, blah!!

Well I am off to boil some eggs!

TTYL~

Kat

Haydee · March 19, 2008

Yum, boiled eggs... I love 'em...

What makes me so sad about split up families is the fact that the kids have whole other families that they don't even know about sometimes. My mother comes from a large family. 9 sisters and 2 brothers. All of them have kids, my cousins. The two men in the family have had three sets of kids with three different women, each. It makes me sad because I loved those kids and got to know them and then the adults would split up and the ex-wife wouldn't allow our family to see the kids anymore. So out there in this world I have, let's see... 13 cousins that probably don't remember that I exist, and that don't know that I love them, even now. I worry that some of my younger cousins might even date their own cousin because they have no idea who anyone is... I'm sure it's happened to someone the way that famillies are all disconnected nowadays...

Haydee · March 19, 2008

I'm having the hardest time with my coffee this morning. I keep burping and it just gurgles around in my chest before going down. My fill is really weird this time. Sometimes I have trouble getting even liquid down and sometimes I am able to eat a full Breakfast of eggs and bacon. Makes no sense...

TracyK · March 19, 2008

Whew...I am in such a better mood!! Good thing cause the smokes were calling my name!! (even though I would not have done it)

Kat-let me know about the postage for the shirts, OK?

I guess I better get off here and get some work done. TTFN

Kat817 · March 19, 2008

I agree Haydee---it makes ya wonder!!!

I had my DD from my first marriage. He was a nice kid, ended up not being a very reliable man. He could not grasp the concept of monogamy!!! He has 2 kids older than our divorce besides our own. One of them, he remained involved with the Mom and went on to have 3 more kids with. The other child from some woman he met in a bar, claimed to be pregnant, and have his child, no one ever heard from after the little girl was about 7 months old. She looked a LOT like my DD. She HATES that she may have another sister she knows nothing about.

When we divorced, Manda spent time with him and his family sporadically. He did not ask for visitation, in fact he ask that his rights be terminated! The judge refused. He never paid child support--but, through the years we developed a working relationship for Manda's sake. I would take her over to spend time with him and her 1/2 siblings, and I would go pick her up!!! That was the arrangement! I did all the work! My DD was worth it! At that point I did not know Rick and I would end up together, and I thought that those kids were going to be her only family. I mean if all goes right in the world and I die before my child, she needed to have someone, and those were her only siblings. So it was worth going out of my way, and dealing with things. Through the years, 3 of their 4 kids and I are very close!!! Rick helped her brother put a starter in his car last week! It was worth it.

Manda's ex husband, also had a civil relationship with his divorced parents---heck they still ALL go to dinner for holidays and birthdays and such. I never went that far!!!

But in the end---when they divorced, there was of course hard feelings, they were divorcing! But they work very well together concerning Kinsey. He (Jason, Kinsey's Dad) is a pathological liar---and that is the only real bone of contention. He admits it, but refuses to seek treatment, and Manda does not want him lying to Kinsey---and he lies about everything! But they share time, they don't use her to manipulate one another. Manda always makes sure she has something for Kinsey to give him for Father's Day and Christmas, and he has done the same for her.

So while maybe the divorce rate will not go down, maybe as it becomes more of a normal part of life, maybe the children will suffer less. As children of divorce learn to parent their own children of divorce....if that makes sense. They see how they did or did not like being treated, and treat the kids accordingly.

I mean even when I was in school, it was fodder for the gossip mill if someone was divorced! And when I divorced-I was the first in my family! Both sets of grandparents, my parents all made 50+ years....Ricks are over 60+ married now----our divorces were the first in our families. I hope each generation that now has to deal with divorce learns to not use and hurt the kids.

I know I did not do things perfectly----but I did my best, for the most important person in the equation.

Kat

Daisalana · March 19, 2008

Gotta catch up at work, just got back from the doc so wanted to share..

Lab work came back and shows I'm not pregnant (surprise?!), since I had to be on my period to do all this. Well, it ends up they 'forgot' I had to be on condoms for 30 days to get the whacky drugs. :biggrin:

So wasted sitting at the lab all morning on Monday, and a co-pay today. She said, I need to come back when my period starts again... to do lab work..again.. and to do pregnancy test with them & the labs.. again.. on my period.. again. And get this, by calculating my b/c, I should be starting my period some week in April.. and they don't have any people trained for this program going to be in that week.:thumbup::cursing::tt2::cursing:

So it may be 2 months. She said she'll call and let me know if someone will come in that week so I can fill out my paperwork for the program and get the Rx. We'll see. Very irritated right now.

And on top of that, I've never had ANY problems in my blood work. Now? My cholesterol is all out of whack. Triglicerides are high, my H levels are low (good chl.), my L levels are way high (bad chl.). I was like how.. I never had problems before, I'm 100lbs lighter and I eat better.. she said "Does anyone in your family have cholesterol or heart problems?". Damn it. Yeah, but everyone is fat & diabetic too. I'm getting AWAY from that. :tt2:

Bummer day.. raining like crazy too.

Daisalana · March 19, 2008

Oh real quick too (ho hum, I AM getting caught up at work, really).

We are getting our stimulus bonus thing from the gov'n. in May, so I'm putting it aside to pay for our anniversary vacation. I haven't decided where to go. Initially it was going to be Chattanooga, just cause it's close, it's a little romantic, and something to do.

Well, now that we have money to do something a little more lavish, I can't decide what I wanna do (It's all my planning, he said for me to pick what I want). There's also Six Flags, and I love theme parks, but I don't ride rides, so it wouldn't be a lot of fun for him, no one to ride with.

I was going to look into a cruise.. can you do 3-4 day cruises? Are they worth it? Judy? :thumbup: Does it get expensive having to fly, and when they say it's $xx per person, do you really need more money for things like dining?

Anyone else have any other ideas? We normally always go to Vegas or Tunica and gamble on vacations, but I wanted to do something more interactive. I'm not opposed to flying, but as you all know I hate flying, and would much rather not have to.

TracyK · March 19, 2008

Laura-aren't you pretty close to florida? why not go there for romantic walks on the beach? I love Florida!!

Daisalana · March 19, 2008

Yeah we're not too far from FL. But, we go there every year for holidays (G'parents live in Panama City Beach).

Wanted something.. exotic. I was looking at Hawaii, it's pretty pricey.. someone at work said to check out Aruba. She said it's very affordable and of all the fancy islands she's ever been it was her favorite. I'm googling info on it now.

TracyinKS · March 19, 2008

I would do a cruise.......... and yes you will need extra money for tips, booze and excursions......... if you only ate on board, and drank tea you would still need tip money for your waiter and room attendant(s) oh.... and the on board slot machines! :thumbup:

TracyinKS · March 19, 2008

OH and Costa Rica is supposed to be beautiful and inexspensive

mdrai · March 19, 2008

What is going on lately?? I just got an e-mail from a new friend that she has been diagnosed w/breast cancer! That makes like 3 or 4 folks lately w/cancer! It totally sux! What is it w/all this bad news? It's getting me way grumpy! Grrr. Just wanted to vent.