Hi All !

I hope everyone is doing well on their journey,

As usual, when i don’t know who to turn to regarding my VSG journey i turn to the forum ?

For a little backstory i had VSG surgery in early april of this year, so it’s been 7 months so far.

I’m now down 88 pounds / 40kg

And for the first time throughout these 7 months i’ve started getting comments from people about how much weight i’ve lost.

Mainly from coworkers, or friends i haven’t seen in a while - « wow you’ve lost so much weight » or « you’ve melted away the pounds » or « you look completely different » …

The issue is i have no idea how to react ! I never know what to say i feel awkward and weird when someone says this to me … and i’m not usually the kind of person to not react it’s just so strange to me that i can’t seem to find the words.

Shouldn’t i be proud ? It’s what i wanted after all …

Does or has anyone else felt the same ? How did you navigate the comments ?

I am really noticing a uptick in comments from when people see me post surgey in a good meaning way , but it is causing a bit of body dysmorphia where my mind hasn't caught up with my body changes. How do you guys cope with that? It has been 11 months since my surgery. I had a small bout of it early on in my journey but not it is becoming more pronounced.

Interesting to read the replies here. As a man, you get used to not receiving compliments (btw ladies, one of the easiest ways to get a mans attention is with a compliment. I promise you he will remember that 10 years from now). So when I began to receive recently compliments from friends and coworkers about my weight loss it was really awkward but it does feel good, and it helped with my body dysmorphia as I don't see myself that much different even with the 100+ pounds total I've lost and multiple clothing sizes I've dropped. I personally enjoy them now, and use them as motivation to push harder to my goals.

For me, I rarely have someone say anything. Most will say something to someone else about my weight loss and it will get back to me. Most people are so concern with hurting someone's feelings they won't say anything uplifting for fear of insinuating they thought you were fat not too long ago. The funniest thing I have heard so far is, "You were big but you wore it so well." Hawgwash! I personally want someone to say "You look great! How much weight have you lost!" I love telling my story!

10 hours ago, Elephant_to_Tiger said:

I love telling my story!

I really empathise with this - I am quite open about my journey anyway, and find that people are just genuinely curious and I haven't - yet - had anyone be negative about the fact I've had surgery, they just have lots of questions and I am more than happy to talk about it!

I had a funny one this week. I was walking along a hallway at work with someone I don’t see often. This person said, “I think you are shrinking” to which I responded, “Oh, I’ve never been very tall.” 30 minutes later I realized what he meant - LOL!

On 10/14/2024 at 7:17 AM, ShoppGirl said:

For me I’m just starting to notice that people treat me differently. People just being nicer and going out of their way to help me in stores. Customers striking up small talk conversations with me WAY more often. It’s just weird. I have always been told that life is a fashion show growing up and I sadly finally admit that it’s true. After losing all my weight for the sleeve quickly, gaining it back and now loosing again with the revision I am seriously not imagining this. Some people are just that superficial…a lot actually. It breaks my heart for the heavier me and other obese people.

I'm glad you brought this up and I'm surprised it's not brought up more often. This totally derailed my weightloss. I havent dated in several years due to my weight and lack of time raising a special needs grandson. After loosing 80 pounds and one pound to finally get under 200, I started talking with a man and that turned into flirting. We had alot in common but we lived about 5 hours apart but his work was going to bring him into my town for a few years....Well, I screwed up again and gained 20 pounds back. When he saw me the next time he was in town, that was the end. That hurt my feelings to the core. Hell, I'm crying now. There wasnt any love loss, it was just how superficial people are and how they treat you. As long as Im getting around good and my body isnt sick, to hell with being little. Healthy is the key goal and frankly the only goal for me. I did the mandatory visit with the psychologist, which was a joke and just an insurance hurdle. Knowing what I know now, issues like this need to be addressed and talked about. Also, not ONE person mentioned my weight loss until my daughter and I were out of town and had to go do laundry. My daughter couldnt figure out whose pants she was folding. I told her they were mine and she was flabbergasted that I had lost that much weight...shrugs...

Anyway, if you are just starting out or thinking about surgery, please keep this in mind and talk about it with the psychologist about how your going to handle this issue....Ya'll, take care and good luck with everything.

4 hours ago, Zenncoast said:

I'm glad you brought this up and I'm surprised it's not brought up more often. This totally derailed my weightloss. I havent dated in several years due to my weight and lack of time raising a special needs grandson. After loosing 80 pounds and one pound to finally get under 200, I started talking with a man and that turned into flirting. We had alot in common but we lived about 5 hours apart but his work was going to bring him into my town for a few years....Well, I screwed up again and gained 20 pounds back. When he saw me the next time he was in town, that was the end. That hurt my feelings to the core. Hell, I'm crying now. There wasnt any love loss, it was just how superficial people are and how they treat you. As long as Im getting around good and my body isnt sick, to hell with being little. Healthy is the key goal and frankly the only goal for me. I did the mandatory visit with the psychologist, which was a joke and just an insurance hurdle. Knowing what I know now, issues like this need to be addressed and talked about. Also, not ONE person mentioned my weight loss until my daughter and I were out of town and had to go do laundry. My daughter couldnt figure out whose pants she was folding. I told her they were mine and she was flabbergasted that I had lost that much weight...shrugs...

Anyway, if you are just starting out or thinking about surgery, please keep this in mind and talk about it with the psychologist about how your going to handle this issue....Ya'll, take care and good luck with everything.

Some people are just pigs. I wish it hadn’t happened to you at all, but you know what, better then than down the road when you may have been settled In with the guy expecting forever. I hope you find someone who wants you for YOU!! They do exist, just gotta try and ask the right questions and hope to weed out the jerks. I think if I was looking for someone new I would probably show them pictures and my extra skin and see their reactions as soon as it started to get remotely serious just to judge their reaction. If it’s all about how good you look now (basically implying gross before) or how you have such a pretty face or hair, etc you may have your answer. I wish you the best of luck in finding your Mr right but in the meantime keep up the good work on your own health and happiness.

I like the compliments but I also use it as fuel to stop eating and to keep trying. After all the nasty rude comments this is a welcome change to my ego and when I’m exhausted and exercising I focus on the good changes and push on.
After my surgery I hit an almost 4 weeks of no weight loss. It was heartbreaking and I almost gave up. Those positive comments kept me trying and sticking to the diet. My problem was I was on the wrong type of protein supplement but it was torture. Take the compliment as a positive. I tell people I will be the grandma on the beach wearing a thong and looking fabulous . YEAH.

50 minutes ago, Beverly Alexander said:

I like the compliments but I also use it as fuel to stop eating and to keep trying. After all the nasty rude comments this is a welcome change to my ego and when I’m exhausted and exercising I focus on the good changes and push on.
After my surgery I hit an almost 4 weeks of no weight loss. It was heartbreaking and I almost gave up. Those positive comments kept me trying and sticking to the diet. My problem was I was on the wrong type of Protein supplement but it was torture. Take the compliment as a positive. I tell people I will be the grandma on the beach wearing a thong and looking fabulous . YEAH.

"I tell people I will be the grandma on the beach wearing a thong and looking fabulous . YEAH."

All the more power to you! <shudders> With all my extra skin there are no thongs or bathing suits in my future - you're welcome world! ?

You have to dream and do you.What can you do? What are your dreams? That is why we did this in pursuit of a dream to be better and do better.