Hi all,
I don’t want to depress or trigger but I am really looking for some reassurance that what I am feeling is normal or maybe someone else has felt the same way. Again, trigger warning for mentions of mental illness/ED.
I had my gastric sleeve surgery on July 13th (my doc also repaired my hiatal hernia)
I feel like such an outcast reading these forums because everyone says they have no regrets and I swear as soon as I woke up from surgery that was the first thought that I had. I assumed it was because I was in so much pain but it would get better. Now I’m 3 weeks out on the purée stage and I am so depressed I can barely bring myself to do anything. I don’t feel like myself. I struggled with depression before & binge eating disorder which I received treatment for in the past. But I think with having such an addiction to food this just made me so much more depressed. I feel trapped and stuck in this cycle. I miss chugging water & not feeling every little bite or sip I take of food or liquid. I feel like there’s not enough time in a day to get my protein, vitamins, food, and water goals in, especially since I can only have so little now. I just feel like I made a big mistake. I’m watching food videos every day (I know it sounds bad) but I just miss eating. I feel like now my entire life is revolved around food & what I’m going to put into my body & it’s a miserable way to live to be trapped in this constant schedule. On the bright side I am down 42 lbs from my highest weight the month before surgery. I am so sorry for how negative this is & I thank you if you got this far in reading this or have any advice to offer. I am currently seeing a therapist to help me through these issues. I just wanted to see if anyone else in the WLS community has/had shared these feelings with me. Thank you!

having "buyer's remorse" sometime during the first month post-op is pretty common

on top of that, you said you'd had binge eating disorder, so you're also dealing with an addiction withdrawal, too.

and on top of THAT, the rapid weight loss can screw up your hormone balance in the early weeks (it'll eventually stabilize again), so that could be going on as well..

so - in short - a lot to deal with. Do you have a therapist - or if not, are you willing to get one? A lot of us have used them for a variety of reasons and have found them helpful.

I’m sorry you’re feeling so down! But if it helps I do think it’s totally normal! I felt the same for a while and really struggled with the mental side of things - became obsessed with food TikTok! Definitely get a therapist to help you through (I see one monthly) :)

On 08/03/2021 at 22:15, catwoman7 said:

having "buyer's remorse" sometime during the first month post-op is pretty common

on top of that, you said you'd had binge eating disorder, so you're also dealing with an addiction withdrawal, too.

and on top of THAT, the rapid weight loss can screw up your hormone balance in the early weeks (it'll eventually stabilize again), so that could be going on as well..

so - in short - a lot to deal with. Do you have a therapist - or if not, are you willing to get one? A lot of us have used them for a variety of reasons and have found them helpful.

Thank you for validating how I’m feeling, I appreciate it! :) I do currently have a therapist that I see every couple of weeks that is aware of everything that’s going on. Thank goodness for that & the support within this community<3

On 08/03/2021 at 22:19, sleeveinthecity said:

I’m sorry you’re feeling so down! But if it helps I do think it’s totally normal! I felt the same for a while and really struggled with the mental side of things - became obsessed with food TikTok! Definitely get a therapist to help you through (I see one monthly) :)

Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it! :) & yes lol my whole tiktok fyp is all food recipes lately? I do have a therapist as well that is helping me through this crazy process. Wishing you all the best! ❤️

7 hours ago, mgigi said:

Thank you for validating how I’m feeling, I appreciate it! I do currently have a therapist that I see every couple of weeks that is aware of everything that’s going on. Thank goodness for that & the support within this community<3

Can you increase the frequency of seeing your therapist as you go through this rough patch? I know when I'm dealing with a lot I see my therapist more frequently. I agree with everything @catwoman7 said too. Hang in there!

The good news is that it gets better as you’re able to introduce more foods back into your diet. I have always enjoyed cooking and now I just try to find creative ways to recreate healthier versions of my favorite recipes, like a keto Pad Thai, and I use a lot of herb and flavors so that what I’m eating is full of flavor.

It’s going to take time for your mind and body to adjust. At three weeks out your body is still healing and may feel a bit all over the place for a while.

I couldn’t reach my protein or water goals until a couple of months out so don’t be too hard on yourself, it will come. Even at 5 months out I still miss my water goals sometimes, in fact today is one of those times!!

Losing 42lbs is a huge achievement and you should be really proud of your self.

Hang in there

I had surgery on 7/12 and I haven't been able to reach my water goals yet either. Since before surgery, I've been reminding myself that this is a process, and eventually I'll be able to eat the foods I like (just not in the same amount as before surgery). Also, my doctor had me on the soft food stage immediately after coming home from surgery which makes me feel much more satisfied. I'd suggest looking up some interesting recipes for when you move to that stage. Enjoying your new meals that taste good definitely make you feel happier about the decision.

Hang in there, I had a hard time initially, too. Different issues, but I even asked my surgeon at the Post-op visit if I made the right decision.

I hear you with the strict schedule, and not feeling like there is enough time in a day to get in everything as far as protein and water. I will say that after a couple months, it became second nature, and I was able to drink a lot faster. Most days I meet my goals now. And although I really mourned the foods I could not eat at first, they have become less interesting as time has passed, and I have changed what I buy and cook for my family in order to help all of us.

Stay the course, continue seeing the therapist for support, and know that it does get better!

I think many of us feel a sense of sadness and loss after surgery. To me, it keeps reminding me of getting out of a bad romantic relationship. There's a period of time after the breakup when I get lonely and a little frantic and I consider going back even if I know the relationship is completely toxic. But when people keep going back into a toxic relationship, they just keep getting sicker and sadder.

I don't want that anymore for me with my relationship with food. When you break up and get out of a bad relationship, you have to mourn the loss of that relationship, even if it sucked. It filled a hole in your life. But just like when you break up with somebody, you have to find new things to validate you or to bring you joy.

You are grieving habits that weren't good for you, but soon you'll start to find new things to help you feel better. Hopefully they will be good healthy things for your life. For me it has been exercising, spending time with friends, and probably spending a little bit too much money on new clothes lol.

I'm not really sure if this is exactly the way you're feeling, but I just thought I would tell you what's been going through my mind the past month in case it is the same. I sure hope you get through the mourning process soon, and you can have peace with your choice.

Edited August 6, 20215 yr by Maribelle76

On 8/3/2021 at 5:56 PM, mgigi said:

Hi all,
I don’t want to depress or trigger but I am really looking for some reassurance that what I am feeling is normal or maybe someone else has felt the same way. Again, trigger warning for mentions of mental illness/ED.
I had my gastric sleeve surgery on July 13th (my doc also repaired my hiatal hernia)
I feel like such an outcast reading these forums because everyone says they have no regrets and I swear as soon as I woke up from surgery that was the first thought that I had. I assumed it was because I was in so much pain but it would get better. Now I’m 3 weeks out on the purée stage and I am so depressed I can barely bring myself to do anything. I don’t feel like myself. I struggled with depression before & binge eating disorder which I received treatment for in the past. But I think with having such an addiction to food this just made me so much more depressed. I feel trapped and stuck in this cycle. I miss chugging Water & not feeling every little bite or sip I take of food or liquid. I feel like there’s not enough time in a day to get my Protein, Vitamins, food, and water goals in, especially since I can only have so little now. I just feel like I made a big mistake. I’m watching food videos every day (I know it sounds bad) but I just miss eating. I feel like now my entire life is revolved around food & what I’m going to put into my body & it’s a miserable way to live to be trapped in this constant schedule. On the bright side I am down 42 lbs from my highest weight the month before surgery. I am so sorry for how negative this is & I thank you if you got this far in reading this or have any advice to offer. I am currently seeing a therapist to help me through these issues. I just wanted to see if anyone else in the WLS community has/had shared these feelings with me. Thank you!

Hey there, I just wanted to check in on you and also say how proud I am of you for seeking care in the form of therapy. I have not had my sleeve yet but I have TERRIBLE anxiety that I see my therapist for. You are staying on top of continuing care and I have no doubt you will pull through the rough time you're going through currently. Keep fighting the fight, proud of you! ❤️

On 08/23/2021 at 15:30, greenwitch17 said:

Hey there, I just wanted to check in on you and also say how proud I am of you for seeking care in the form of therapy. I have not had my sleeve yet but I have TERRIBLE anxiety that I see my therapist for. You are staying on top of continuing care and I have no doubt you will pull through the rough time you're going through currently. Keep fighting the fight, proud of you! ❤️

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!! Best of luck with the whole process & definitely keep seeing your therapist throughout it has helped a ton having someone to fall back on. Wishing you all the best! ?

I don’t regret my surgery, but that doesn’t mean i haven’t had tough moments where I think “what the hell did I do to myself?!” It’s normal and healing (all kinds) takes time. And there is definitely a learning curve. It’ll be better when you can eat more. Hang in there. You got this! You can do it!

Hi all,
I don’t want to depress or trigger but I am really looking for some reassurance that what I am feeling is normal or maybe someone else has felt the same way. Again, trigger warning for mentions of mental illness/ED.
I had my gastric sleeve surgery on July 13th (my doc also repaired my hiatal hernia)
I feel like such an outcast reading these forums because everyone says they have no regrets and I swear as soon as I woke up from surgery that was the first thought that I had. I assumed it was because I was in so much pain but it would get better. Now I’m 3 weeks out on the purée stage and I am so depressed I can barely bring myself to do anything. I don’t feel like myself. I struggled with depression before & binge eating disorder which I received treatment for in the past. But I think with having such an addiction to food this just made me so much more depressed. I feel trapped and stuck in this cycle. I miss chugging Water & not feeling every little bite or sip I take of food or liquid. I feel like there’s not enough time in a day to get my Protein, Vitamins, food, and water goals in, especially since I can only have so little now. I just feel like I made a big mistake. I’m watching food videos every day (I know it sounds bad) but I just miss eating. I feel like now my entire life is revolved around food & what I’m going to put into my body & it’s a miserable way to live to be trapped in this constant schedule. On the bright side I am down 42 lbs from my highest weight the month before surgery. I am so sorry for how negative this is & I thank you if you got this far in reading this or have any advice to offer. I am currently seeing a therapist to help me through these issues. I just wanted to see if anyone else in the WLS community has/had shared these feelings with me. Thank you!

I had same surgery with hernia repair as well on 8/31. ... it hurts like crazy just to get a few sips of water down. I'm right there with you on the food.

You're not alone. I'm already depressed. I am a sugar addict and have questioned, "what's left after the food is gone? How will I find relief?" I've also questioned the point of anything going forward because, well, "what's the point if I haven't got my best friend food to support me?" I'm questioning whether it is a good idea to even get the surgery, however have been encouraged by two bariatric psychs that it's totally normal to grieve food. Food is 100% a drug for me. It's deeper-rooted than the cocaine, amphetamines, opiates, alcohol and sedatives I used to use. I'm assembling a team of online video support groups weekly, a bariatric psychologist and a therapist to help carry me through the next couple of months.

Just now, Bloodhound said:

You're not alone. I'm already depressed. I am a sugar addict and have questioned, "what's left after the food is gone? How will I find relief?" I've also questioned the point of anything going forward because, well, "what's the point if I haven't got my best friend food to support me?" I'm questioning whether it is a good idea to even get the surgery, however have been encouraged by two bariatric psychs that it's totally normal to grieve food. Food is 100% a drug for me. It's deeper-rooted than the cocaine, amphetamines, opiates, alcohol and sedatives I used to use. I'm assembling a team of online video support groups weekly, a bariatric psychologist and a therapist to help carry me through the next couple of months.

Rereading that, I realized there is a silver lining in that at least I am going in an alcoholic and addict and won't have that potential risk factor of transferring addictions since I am already such.