Eating around others who aren’t privy (Social Eating)

[successboundNP 10]

Hey everyone I’m new to this site, but have been getting a ton of information from everyone so thank you!!

I’m due to be sleeved on 8/10 and have a question. For those of you who have had weight-loss surgery how have you guys managed eating in social settings? Especially for those of you who have not necessarily told the people who would be in those settings that you underwent the surgery. I will be returning to my work and school environment where I’ll be around people for 10+ hours a day (including meal breaks that we do in group settings). I’m wondering how I can eat without looking awkwardly suspicious at the table. With the weight dropping off I don’t want whispers that I have an eating disorder!

The best idea that I can think of is to tell everyone I’m on a smoothie kick and do the smoothies in a non-see-through cup, this way I can take fake sips and they won’t be able to see the level of the drink that remains after lunch.

Any advice would be great, thanks!!

[Bluebonnetgirl 63]

I take things in regular size containers. Talk more, move my utensils around stirring food or moving food around in the container more and so far it is going okay. I am still in the Full liquid stage so I do a lot Soups and yogurts. So far no one has noticed, that I am aware of. I do tell people I am doing more mindful eating so pausing between bites, etc... Mindful eating is a buzzword so it seems to placate them.

[successboundNP 10]

13 minutes ago, Bluebonnetgirl said:

I take things in regular size containers. Talk more, move my utensils around stirring food or moving food around in the container more and so far it is going okay. I am still in the Full liquid stage so I do a lot Soups and yogurts. So far no one has noticed, that I am aware of. I do tell people I am doing more mindful eating so pausing between bites, etc... Mindful eating is a buzzword so it seems to placate them.

That’s genius! Especially the stirring as it could make it seem I’m having more interaction with my plate than I really am.

Thank you.

[Arabesque 6,501]

I found trying to be truthful to a point easier. If you feel comfortable tell them you’re trying to be more conscious of your eating or just that you’re on a diet. I bet dieting is a pretty common occurrence in your staff room - was always in mine 😁. Then as you lose weight they’ll think you’re being successful on your diet & with your changed habits - which you are.

You can always eat in your room on odd days - say you have class prep or marking to catch up on.

I like @Bluebonnetgirl’s mindful eating suggestion especially once you’re on soft or solid foods.

It does get easier because those around you start to accept the changes you’re making, your portions get larger & closer to recommended serving sizes. I still sometimes have to tell people who ask why I’m not eating or not eating much that I’ve had enough, I’m not really hungry today or these portions are huge.

Good luck.

[JDLane 139]

I've had one coworker comment on my small portions but it wasn't even questioning me she just said something to the effect of wow I'd be starving if I ate just that. And I simply said yes I'm eating smaller portions but more often, I'll be eating again in like 2 hours and she just said oh okay that makes sense and that was it. I eat a morning snack, lunch and an afternoon snack all while at work so it's pretty clear I'm not attempting to starve myself.

Eating out with friends people either haven't noticed, haven't commented or I'll just say I'm not that hungry. I'm also open about the fact that I'm trying to lose some weight and that's generally accepted without question.

[successboundNP 10]

12 hours ago, Arabesque said:

I found trying to be truthful to a point easier. If you feel comfortable tell them you’re trying to be more conscious of your eating or just that you’re on a diet. I bet dieting is a pretty common occurrence in your staff room - was always in mine 😁. Then as you lose weight they’ll think you’re being successful on your diet & with your changed habits - which you are.

You can always eat in your room on odd days - say you have class prep or marking to catch up on.

I like @Bluebonnetgirl’s mindful eating suggestion especially once you’re on soft or solid foods.

It does get easier because those around you start to accept the changes you’re making, your portions get larger & closer to recommended serving sizes. I still sometimes have to tell people who ask why I’m not eating or not eating much that I’ve had enough, I’m not really hungry today or these portions are huge.

Good luck.

Thank you for this advice! I can’t wait to make it to the other side like the rest of you!

[successboundNP 10]

1 hour ago, JDLane said:

I've had one coworker comment on my small portions but it wasn't even questioning me she just said something to the effect of wow I'd be starving if I ate just that. And I simply said yes I'm eating smaller portions but more often, I'll be eating again in like 2 hours and she just said oh okay that makes sense and that was it. I eat a morning snack, lunch and an afternoon snack all while at work so it's pretty clear I'm not attempting to starve myself.

Eating out with friends people either haven't noticed, haven't commented or I'll just say I'm not that hungry. I'm also open about the fact that I'm trying to lose some weight and that's generally accepted without question.

I think I’m going to take a mixture route of all of this advice. I’ve never been a big eater so even when I would do small portions before I would constantly get comments about how little I eat.

I’m in the health field (both for school and work) so my fellow cohort are nurses and my work at the hospital are fellow nurses and doctors and they tend to be a bit more direct about their assumptions and concerns, lol. If it comes to it I’ll just make the boundaries clear about me being a friend/coworker and not their patient.

Until then, I’ll be utilizing all of the suggestions provided in this thread here to keep things civil and comfortable. 😊

Thank you everyone! I’ll come back in a month and let you know how it goes!!

[GingersnapMI 29]

I, too, am a healthcare worker. For me, I didn't feel a need not to share my choice to have bariatric surgery... just like I wouldn't mind sharing if I had my appendix out. It is what it is, I am not ashamed nor embarrassed. I have a treatable medical condition and I chose a common and approved method of treatment: surgery. My co-workers were interested and supportive... and then the matter was soon almost forgotten. I do get occasional interested inquires such as, "How much have you lost now?" (And I proudly give the answer!)

But I do understand that others may feel differently. Good luck, I'm sure you'll do well!

[successboundNP 10]

10 minutes ago, GingersnapMI said:

I, too, am a healthcare worker. For me, I didn't feel a need not to share my choice to have bariatric surgery... just like I wouldn't mind sharing if I had my appendix out. It is what it is, I am not ashamed nor embarrassed. I have a treatable medical condition and I chose a common and approved method of treatment: surgery. My co-workers were interested and supportive... and then the matter was soon almost forgotten. I do get occasional interested inquires such as, "How much have you lost now?" (And I proudly give the answer!)

But I do understand that others may feel differently. Good luck, I'm sure you'll do well!

Yes, I’ve lost (and regained) quite a few times so I just want to make sure this works before sharing with anyone (especially considering how young I am).

Thank you for your well wishes. Congrats on your success!!

I sincerely do love this community.

[ChubRub 1,696]

I didn't tell anyone about my WLS (other than my husband), and I've been pleasantly surprised at people's reactions to my new style of eating. I will say 99% of them haven't commented on what I'm eating (and I assume they haven't even noticed b/c they are too busy eating their own meal), but the 1% that have commented have been positive about how healthy my meal looks, etc.

I was always prepared if someone said "Is that all you are eating???" to respond that I had a big Breakfast, or am going out to dinner later and want to save room for that, but I never coworkers or friends comment on my meals.

I did have a friend's husband get a little rude (he was drunk) when I only ate the cheese off a slice of pizza, but he's the type of person that will find any reason to make fun of someone! LOL!!

Best of luck to you!!!!!!!!!!!!

[NYJenn 1,461]

Never told people outside my family and no one ever commented on my portions. They knew I was trying to lose weight (which I was) so everyone was actually really supportive “let’s order from ___ instead of pizza so Jenn can eat with us”

[successboundNP 10]

25 minutes ago, ChubRub said:

I didn't tell anyone about my WLS (other than my husband), and I've been pleasantly surprised at people's reactions to my new style of eating. I will say 99% of them haven't commented on what I'm eating (and I assume they haven't even noticed b/c they are too busy eating their own meal), but the 1% that have commented have been positive about how healthy my meal looks, etc.

I was always prepared if someone said "Is that all you are eating???" to respond that I had a big Breakfast, or am going out to dinner later and want to save room for that, but I never coworkers or friends comment on my meals.

I did have a friend's husband get a little rude (he was drunk) when I only ate the cheese off a slice of pizza, but he's the type of person that will find any reason to make fun of someone! LOL!!

Best of luck to you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol!! There’s always that one guy!
This made me laugh! Thank you.

[successboundNP 10]

8 minutes ago, NYJenn said:

Never told people outside my family and no one ever commented on my portions. They knew I was trying to lose weight (which I was) so everyone was actually really supportive “let’s order from ___ instead of pizza so Jenn can eat with us”

Very supportive of them! Thanks!