Long post alert!!

SW 212-225

LW 164

CW 185

5’ 2”

I was sleeved 10/2017. I lost weight well and fairly quickly. I wasn’t done yet.

Then I didn’t follow the rules. I didn’t sit down to meals, I didn’t take my time, I didn’t chew my food- I started inhaling it again, then the slider foods. I’ve never been a really junk foodie but pastas, bread, chocolate, etc. I stopped drinking all the water. I stopped taking vitamins (Lost tons of good muscle mass). Never exercised.

I’m on the fence about the stomach stretching thing. At 3 years I can eat a surprising amount but the restriction is definitely still there. I know it is because I still get nauseous if I eat too much. I still feel extreme pain if I eat too much. So much dumping still (no gall bladder).

I am food obsessed. I think about it constantly. I google recipes all day long. I eat until I am hurting & in such pain, it’s scary. I don’t stop when I’m full, I only stop when it hurts too much. And as soon as it doesn’t hurt anymore, I eat again. That’s usually within the same hour. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt a hunger pang.

I’m sober again and using food as a replacement for alcohol. COVID has me depressed and turning to food. Sheltered in place = solitude, boredom and loneliness. Laziness. Don’t give a sh*t...Excuses, Excuses, Excuses.

I have tons of unresolved issues (ya think!!!?) and I was on a great path back to good healing and “something” happened almost 2 years ago and I’ve been derailed ever since.

And, as ridiculous as this may sound, I have forgotten how to eat per my VSG. Fat & carbs or no fat, no carbs? Seriously I am so lost about what to eat and what not to eat. (I think thats from Keto, Atkins, WW, Paleo overload...WHAT DO I EAT?)

Please don’t berate me for failing. Please don’t tell me to get my butt to therapy. I’m in a program and working through things but my eating is out of control right now and it’s starting to frighten me.

Please offer some good suggestions, a solid regimen to follow to get me back on track. I need rules again.

Thank you so much and Stay Well Everybody

First, I commend you for knowing there’s a problem and working to fix it. Second, I applaud you for whatever program you’re on. Talking to people about our issues can be challenging.
Third, look into starting over with a “pouch reset” diet plan. They usually last 5-14 days but bring your focus back to a better way of eating. And most are similar to this info graphic.

I agree with starwarsandcupcake, btw love the name. Great job for just asking for help and recognizing that a change is required. You can do this and even at the moments it may feel like you cannot you can. I would try the reset and make a list of thi gas you enjoy no matter what it is. Then choose one that is not relating to eating. It can be writing, drawing , singing, scifi, watching films, yelling, games, anything. It can be something you have never done but may be curious about.

4 hours ago, happydance3 said:

Then I didn’t follow the rules.

So basically what happened is that you've adopted a plan in the beginning you couldn't follow through with because it was too strict and/or didn't suit your needs. Happens to a lot of patients.

Being gung-ho about everything in the beginning (just as with every other promising diet) and once the rewards stop rolling in big (slowing weight loss), one starts to notice what a miserable drag life has become while still not being at "goal" (which is of course a trim and fit body without loose skin and a BMI of 21, nothing else is good enough). Tracking calories and water intake and carbs and grams of protein just sucks. Resisting foods you deem "bad foods" gets harder and harder. Going to the gym several times a week feels like a millstone around the neck while weight stays the same when you want to lose more.

Sounds pretty familiar and you're not the only one with that problem.

Quote

Please offer some good suggestions, a solid regimen to follow to get me back on track. I need rules again.

There is no "solid regimen to follow". Every time you catch yourself wanting to "follow a solid regiment" someone made up for you remind yourself where that got you the last time: nowhere

No one has the perfect solution or eating plan or exercise plan (even though they may claim they have). That's both good and bad news at the same time.

The good news: you can tailor a plan that suits your needs.

The bad news: there is no one to blame but you if you fail with your experiments.

The first step is admitting you have a problem. You've done that. The basics of WLS eating isn't about counting carbs or calories but focusing on 60-70g of protein daily, eating whole foods, and drinking at least 64 oz of water daily. Start there.

Thank you so much everyone for your spot on responses. I KNOW what I have to do and it's me that gets in my own way, no matter how badly I want it. I have to laugh tho, I still have protein shakes, protein powder, ground flax seeds & almond flour, all the things that helped me lose in the first place -- just need to get into the right mindset and just start...geez, i just moved into a place right across the street from a gym!!

19 hours ago, Starwarsandcupcakes said:

First, I commend you for knowing there’s a problem and working to fix it. Second, I applaud you for whatever program you’re on. Talking to people about our issues can be challenging.
Third, look into starting over with a “pouch reset” diet plan. They usually last 5-14 days but bring your focus back to a better way of eating. And most are similar to this info graphic.

wow this makes me anxious just reading it....I have done this pre and post surgery. Its insanity to be fearful, I will not starve if I do it again.

28 minutes ago, happydance3 said:

wow this makes me anxious just reading it....I have done this pre and post surgery. Its insanity to be fearful, I will not starve if I do it again.

If it gives you anxiety then modify it to fit your post op general food calories and protein that your surgeon gave you. If you need to maybe see a nutritionist who specializes in bariatric patients. I know mine has always been helpful with ideas and given me loads of reassurance.

You can do this. You’re worth being healthy for.

Edited December 14, 20205 yr by Starwarsandcupcakes

I have binge eating disorder and identify the feeling of needing rules. I used to have a very all or nothing mindset. Like other posters have already said, I have come around to more of a goal of “rule following” (making wise choices) more often than not - I’ve seen people refer to this as something like a 90/10 rule, where you don’t beat yourself up for not adhering perfectly to the plan 10% of the time. I previously had success with restrictive diets because I was good at “following the rules” and drinking only shakes, eating only X, etc., but I inevitably gained the weight back because they were impossible to keep up and doing nothing to help me learn better habits. I do think it’s important to figure out what works for you without causing stress. For example, I felt overwhelmed by meal planning, but have figured out some simple options that get me close to my protein goals daily. Those things became my basic grocery framework for the week, and I can easily swap in other meals for variety and slip the occasional treats in there without blowing up my whole plan. I also agree that a nutritionist is a great idea and is something I plan to do in the new year as well. Good luck!

5 hours ago, OAGBPal said:

Just be mindful eating disorders have ways of convincing you not to do things that will get rid of them. Sneaky lil' bastards.

Yeah, they also tend to change gears but don't tend to go away.