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So, my mom is not very supportive of my decision to go the surgery route at ALL. She herself has struggled with her weight her whole life and is an overeaters anonymous/ program person. She's a binge eater and in no way can moderate herself at all, it's on the wagon or off for her. I am not. In the past without surgery I lost 95 lbs sans surgery and kept it off for years through moderate diet and exercise until #1 pregnancy & #2 major back injuries severely impeded my mobility. Fast forward I'm heavier than I was before and not able to gym rat the way I used to at my current weight. I alway used exercise as a way of keeping myself honest and focused on my moderate diet. I plan to use the surgery in the same way- i.e. I'm not going to go through all that just to screw it up!

She used to try to scare me out of surgery by saying that it could kill me, or that I could still mess it up and gain it all back (she wishes), now her thing is telling me that I'm not going to eat anymore and that I love food aren't I going to miss it etc. ? I told her that I'd love being healthy more, but goddamn it! From what I gather, after your body has evened out you can have small amounts of just about whatever, depending on how your system handles it.

If not though, do you miss food? I'm definitely going through with the surgery, I just want to know. It sucks not really having an in person support system. My sister is so dead-set against it I'm not even telling her until after it's all done. Then again she has never had weight issues (her current thing is fasting for 18-20 hours per day which sounds like a repackaged version of anorexia tbh.)

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I’m so grateful I had my surgery. It has given me a new healthy, appreciation, and love for food. I have went plant based since my surgery, and my results are flabbergasting! I feel the best I have ever felt in my whole life. I have taken time to learn and study a healthy plant based diet. I put love into food with everything I cook. I make my own oat milk for Protein coffee. I make healthy veggie burgers from Varieties of Beans. It’s challenging, fun, and it makes my body love me! I know with sticking to my new way of life, I will never return to the old me.

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58 minutes ago, Suzi_the_Q said:

If not though, do you miss food?

the first few months I completely lost my hunger and appetite (as many of us do), and eating became a chore. There were days I hated eating. Unbelievable! After my hunger came back, though, I guess I didn't miss food too much because I was really gung-ho about following my plan until I'd lost all of my excess weight (I wish I still had that much resolve!!!)

now - at almost five years out - not really. I can eat pretty much anything except for really fatty meals. My husband and I used to go out for Friday night fish fries before I had surgery, and I could never eat those now. I could maybe eat 1/2 piece of fried fish - but two or three pieces of fish, plus French fries? Never. I'd be vomiting all night. Other than that, I can eat pretty much everything now - I just have to watch it so I'm not eating massive quantities. BUT....there have been times when I WISH I could eat massive quantities. Like of a really yummy pizza (I can eat about two slices tops now) or southern BBQ when I'm down south visiting my brother. If I could, I'd shovel in a half a pound of that because it's so good. But....I can't. Sometimes I physically can't - and others I probably could but I don't because I don't want to gain the weight back. So yes - sometimes I miss food - but probably not in the way you're thinking.

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10 hours ago, Suzi_the_Q said:

Then again she has never had weight issues (her current thing is fasting for 18-20 hours per day which sounds like a repackaged version of anorexia tbh.)

TBH fasting (or intermittent fasting) is only anorexia adjacent if someone has anorexia. Otherwise its mainly portion/time controlled eating

But to answer your question IMHO plenty folks (without eating disorders) still eat plenty of food, indulge within reason, pare back when necessary and are satisfied

10 hours ago, Suzi_the_Q said:

She's a binge eater and in no way can moderate herself at all, it's on the wagon or off for her. I am not. I

Tangentially, I cannot speak to what it would be like for someone with bingeing, bulimia or anorexia... But if those are not things you experience then don't worry about what it would be like for someone experiencing that like your Mom. She will only be able to view it from her perspective.

Good Luck ❤

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I really do not miss food, I eat healthy high end foods but in small amounts/ For me i was addicted to food and carbs - I am very lucky I never get hungry so I have to eat for fuel not for hunger.

To me getting healthy is way ahead of eating tons of food

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Why on earth would you miss food after WLS? You still have to eat!

It sounds to me like she's talking about missing something more specific than food - like binging (which you definitely can't do), or certain foods.

I'm 6 weeks post-op, and in that "not hungry and sometimes have to force myself to eat" stage. But here's a blog I really enjoy from a WLS patient who loves to cook and eat and posts tons of recipes. She still seems to enjoy food!

http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/

Sorry your family is not more supportive - but it is good this forum exists for that.

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1 hour ago, rjan said:

Sorry your family is not more supportive - but it is good this forum exists for that.

Yeah, I made the mistake of telling my sister last night and now she won't leave me alone about her starvation diet.

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Honestly, I don't miss the bad foods. After the surgery, I started craving better foods. My taste did change a little, but I eat REALLY tasty and healthy food now. I've lost almost 70lbs and am so happy for it.

I tried OA for a while... it is a *very* guilt based program. I'm sure it works for some people, but it made me overeat more...

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20 hours ago, Suzi_the_Q said:

She used to try to scare me out of surgery by saying that it could kill me,

If not though, do you miss food?

From the whole death perspective, my sister did die of overweight and it in fact is on her death certificate. She threw a blood clot due to obesity which gave her a heart attack. It was her death, that made me reallt take a look at my own health and weight.

Miss food...hahaha....I still have pretty much same foods I did before but in MUCH smaller portions. Im not the bottomless hole i was before. BUT even a year out, im still re-learning about my body and Im not finished with learning how to eat correctly. Yes, it can come back, but that is part of the journey as well.

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23 minutes ago, Krestel said:

I still have pretty much same foods I did before but in MUCH smaller portions. Im not the bottomless hole i was before. BUT even a year out, im still re-learning about my body and Im not finished with learning how to eat correctly. Yes, it can come back, but that is part of the journey as well.

I figured that was pretty much how it would be, and that bottomless hole thing- that's exactly how I feel sometimes and why I want to do this. I hate that it takes so much for me to feel satisfied. I'm so sorry about your sister, but at least it made you change your lifestyle for the better.

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People who’ve never struggled with weight never understand the eternal battle. I have one brother who knows the struggle & one who doesn’t. I didn’t tell the one who doesn’t about my surgery but he recently found out I had it and has been hassling my mum about it & being very critical (not me yet but I’m waiting for it).

I was fortunate. My mum was supportive of my decision but she has since told me she was very worried at the time. Does your mum’s negativity come from her fear that you’ll lose weight when she can’t or the loss of something you currently share (eating and being overweight)? All surgeries have their dangers but not having the surgery and not losing weight has major health complications too.

@rjan is right you still eat food after you have surgery but if you want to be successful you change the type of foods you eat and choose healthy, nutritious options in much smaller portions. Over time you will work out new favourite foods, what foods you can or can’t tolerate and if you can have an odd treat like @catwoman7 said.

Do your research. Talk to others who’ve had the surgery. This has to be your decision.

Good luck.

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"Does your mum’s negativity come from her fear that you’ll lose weight when she can’t or the loss of something you currently share (eating and being overweight)? "

I don't think it's that, I think it's that in a way she thinks I'm taking the "easy" way out or something. She's very much an OA dieter, has been for 25+ years and it's a bit of a cult, honestly. I think it might a little bit be preemptive jealousy, like if/when I get thin and manage to STAY that way in a way that she perceives as easier than it would be for her. (Her weight goes up and down.) I don't have the misconception that this is easy or that the diet throughout and for the rest of my life will be a no brainer or anything though. She has weird identification issues with me (not my sister) and jealousy stuff that I don't get I think because I'm the one that looks like her. She tends to project a lot onto me. I think also the idea of surgery at all just scares her.

She is starting to come around to the idea of surgery for me the more I explain it to her though. Today I told her about this thread and the answers to these question. She was very impressed that I'm a member of a support group and really learning about it beforehand. I've literally been thinking about this for a couple of years though, so it's not that surprising. Also when I explained that I'm doing it in large part for my son- he's 5 and developmentally disabled and very active in ways that I can't keep up with. I feel like I'm missing half of his life and I don't want that. She agreed and is being more positive, so that's good.

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I think the negativity comes from ignorance and not knowing what WLS is actually.
I have a friend that is morbidly obese, and he doesn't know about my WLS, but he constantly belittles a guy from town that has openly had one. I tried talking to him about WLS, and what comes out is that is "cheating" or "it will be expensive to buy the Vitamins for the rest of my life" or "I don't eat that much, why do I gain weight".

And I call him out on his bullshit every time. And he gets mad.

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My WLS gave me a whole new love for food! I have went to a good 95% plant based way of life now. No meat or dairy. I enjoy cooking, and eating healthy foods. I love to try different Protein recipes from scratch. I use Monk Fruit for tea sweetener. My NUT said with my lifestyle change I will never have to count a carb or calorie again, and I can eat as much fresh veggies, nuts, tofu, and Beans a girl can handle. I am 5 months post op and have lost 68lbs. I feel the best I have ever felt my whole life! I do limit my breads to the extreme. And for pastas, I switched to chickpea Pasta and it is absolutely delish! I have a whole new respect for food now. The saying holds true, we are what we eat!

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I'm sick of people putting their noses in your business...

Anyway to answer your questions after surgery for months I didn't even crave anything literally I was on shakes for months high Protein low carbs and that was it and I never felt like eating until recently but even now at 6.5 months post op some days I still don't eat much at all nor miss food but I will say my intake volume has gone up so eating is more enjoyable but still way less volume than before...

I had the bypass and it has completely changed my metabolism now it's like I can't gain weight and have lost over 150lbs in 8 months since I began my pre-op.

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