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I’ve always been overweight, since childhood!! So never met any women who wanted to date me on an intimate level. I’m going for sleeve on March 24th and really hoping that weight loss will help in the dating department!! Do people find they have better luck dating and meeting people after weight loss??

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Ya man. But it's not the weight loss that will get you dates it's the confidence you'll gain that will attract the ladies.

I was big all my life. My first date was when I was 24 and thats because I lost 160 lbs and put my self out there on dating sites. That was 10 years ago. Since then I've put on varying degrees on weight back on and was still able to get dates

I fractured my back a few years ago and put all the weight back on so I'm getting sleeved in 2 weeks.

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But seriously, I've been pretty big most of my adult life and I'm not trying to brag, but I've never had a problem dating. Personality is important, so is confidence. If you're a shy or reserved person, try working on getting out of your comfort zone and being more sociable. Weight loss will help your appearance but confidence will make you more attractive. Good luck.

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I’ve never admitted these things to anyone, let alone on a public forum. You are not alone though. I’ve struggled almost all my life with chronic illness (immunodeficiency) starting in childhood, developing many medical conditions and symptoms over the years, disability, metabolic disorders, always fighting my weight, my self image, being on the autism spectrum, adhd, ocd and so on. But through it all, through a rough childhood. My own health challenges, my mother having spine surgeries and needing my help and support. I never had a life. I just have, I guess ... survived. I fought to lose weight alone - I guess it’s going on twelve years ago now if I had to guess. But never could hang on to it. I found myself losing ground. It was either fight for Bariatric surgery as a tool to finally help me or totally give up.

But will it fix the rest of me? Those deep rooted insecurities? My separation from the rest of the world due to chronic illness? I honestly cannot say that weight loss will fix these things. Especially not my chronic illness or disability. It’s like my doctor expecting miraculous changes when I just wanted to ease the burden on my body and at least be a healthy weight to better navigate.

it’s easy enough for people to say get out of your comfort zone. Been there done that, it’s gotten me nowhere but disaster and my chronic illness deeper into a decline. Of course this is just from my perspective. I’m not in a situation where I meet people. I can’t put myself out there. It’s not that simple. Nor is it Even for healthy people to do so.

I’ve never discussed it and I won’t even flat out say my own situation in detail either since this is a public forum because people can be condescending in their response to something like this. I remember someone once telling me that she thought I liked being stuck. As if I haven’t spent my whole life fighting every step of the way.

sometimes you need to just step back from yourself and take an objective look at the why of it all, what your hopes and expectations are, and where to go from there. Decide that you are worth it and take the leap forward and maybe you will find where you want to be.

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Thanks for sharing! I definitely don’t lack confidence!! I’ve tried online dating many times, on many sites! Same ol’ story. They start off chatting, then ask for more pictures, then disappear quickly! Like my headshot is okay to chat with for a while, but a few different body pics and suddenly chatting is not even an option!! It’s so messed up! And I make FULL disclosure of my size on any profile I create. So if they read the profile at all, and know my size, why even start a conversation?? Dumb! Anyway! Thanks for sharing!!

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I know it's rare, but not everyone goes for looks. I've been big all my life, but I have always had big boobs and lots of confidence and it has helped with dating and such. I have always had my internal struggles though and I understand where you're coming from. If you ever need to talk or vent you can shoot me a message. Good things come in time and you will find someone that wants you for you! Also I think most guys are just generally not great at taking pics and they tend to not be flattering no matter what size they are. If you have a female friend that you're comfortable with I'd say ask her to help you take some fun pics! They don't have to be nudes, just maybe your hobbies or something that shows the real you! Keep at it!

Sent from my SM-G950U using BariatricPal mobile app

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