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Feeling so depressed



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My surgery, GB RNY, was 10/24/19 and I am dealing with so much depression and anxiety now. My hormones are just so out of whack! All day I haven’t been able to stop crying. I had an appointment scheduled with my nutritionist today for which I had to take the whole day off of work for because it’s 3 hours away. Got a call from them 15 minutes before leaving that they are canceling the appointment and want me to come in next Thursday instead. Here’s the thing, I don’t have enough PTO from work now because of all the time I took off for work and today. I was supposed to be advanced from puréed food to soft today, I confirmed they do not want me to advance my diet until I’m seen again. I can’t make the appointment next week because my work won’t give me the time off. So I’m currently just having a nervous break down because I feel like I made such a huge mistake. I have lost about 30 lbs, but for the last 2-3 weeks it is coming off so slowly that I feel like I’m right back to where I was before surgery. I’m fat, constantly on a diet that I can never get away from, can’t eat normal foods even, and I just want to give up. I can’t make another appointment for at least until beginning of January and I have to stay on puree until then. I’m venting because I feel like I have no control over anything anymore and I’m scared I made a very poor decision to have this permanent surgery done.

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I’m so sorry. I can Understand how frustrated you are. That was wrong and rude of your nut to cancel your appointment right before your appointment. Is there anyway you can do a video appointment with them?

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They said they don’t do phone or video appointments post op, I did a few of them pre op that way which was helpful. I don’t know what to do

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Thank you, I’m sorry you’re have some trouble too. This is not for the faint of heart. I have just Never been that strong to begin with.

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I don't know why you would need to see them face-to-face before progressing in your diet. Can you just call them and ask them when it's OK to move on to the next step?

also, you'll eventually be able to eat "normal" foods again - just in smaller portions.

weight loss does slow down quite a bit after the first month or so. But as long as you stick to your surgeon's plan, the weight will continue to come off. It took me c. 20 months for all of mine to come off.

and lastly, even though you'll be able to eventually eat more volume, and more variety, of foods, yes, you will have to monitor your intake for the rest of your life, or the weight will come back. BUT....you will certainly be eating more - and a much larger variety of foods - than you are these first few weeks.

the first few weeks ARE tough - but hang in there! It will pass and you'll be glad you made this decision!

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This just isn’t right. Could you call your surgeons office and tell them your situation. You should not be penalized because the nut was not able to follow through with an appt.

you have to stand up for yourself. After you do it a few times, it gets easier.

Goid luck to you and please keep us posted.

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They said I am supposed to stay in purée until I can come in and be seen. I’m so frustrated because I now can’t take time off from work because I used up all my Pto now with all the appointments I have had to go to plus the surgery time off. My only option is to make my next appointment for beginning of January when I have more pto saved up. They really screwed with me. I’m stuck on purée until then I guess or just cheat and advance myself. Then, I’m sure they will be all judgy because I advanced myself. I am just about ready to give it all up.

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You can’t stay on purée forever / until you get more PTO. With my plan the purée is week 2-4 then on to the next. The whole plan is laid out with self progression without the follow up Visits first. If I were you and following the volumes to eat I would progress myself and ask for forgiveness later from the nut. Their job is to encourage and help steer you not derail your progress. Follow the nutritional plan by the time line and you should be OK.

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9 hours ago, mediocreoblongata said:

They said I am supposed to stay in purée until I can come in and be seen. I’m so frustrated because I now can’t take time off from work because I used up all my Pto now with all the appointments I have had to go to plus the surgery time off. My only option is to make my next appointment for beginning of January when I have more pto saved up. They really screwed with me. I’m stuck on purée until then I guess or just cheat and advance myself. Then, I’m sure they will be all judgy because I advanced myself. I am just about ready to give it all up.

I had a similar issue with mine! I had to do my 4 week post op yesterday, which was 6 weeks. This was due to the holiday last week and my doctor only having 1 day a week in office. I was supposed to get clearance at my 1 month for exercise and to move off soft foods to my regular diet. That week also happened to be Thanksgiving and I wanted turkey so I called them up and basically told them I'd be moving to normal foods, things have been fine, and I'm going back to barre. Lol. They didn't have a problem with it. I hope you can do the same!

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If you let them know that you are not able to come in until January they may tell you to advance. All the nut can do is talk to you. No physical exam. They should understand that you travel a distance and can’t take yet another day off work due to their inability to keep an appt.

remember that they are working for you. Not the other way around ;)

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I am so sorry about them cancelling your appointment. I'd be pretty interested to know what the nutritionist will do in person that they can't do over the phone. Do you think you could call in and ask to speak directly to your nutritionist/e-mail your nutritionist rather than a scheduler? If you can, I'd make it clear you feel ready to move to soft foods and feel the emotional impacts of staying on pureed for another month could be detrimental to your progress/emotional health. I'd let them know you will do a phone conversation if they feel you absolutely must talk to them before advancing, but if they cannot accommodate that, you will be advancing as your stomach feels ready. Not as mean as I'm making it sound, but just in a I'm going to advocate for myself kind of way.

And to be completely honest, if I weren't having any discomfort with foods, I'd just progress myself if that is the next step in their typical routine.

I also had bypass on 10/24 and I'm already cleared for normal foods, so I can't imagine staying on pureed for another month or so. You've already lost more than me and I'm on my second stall where I'm just floating in between the same 1 pound difference, so I hope you don't get too down on your progress so far!

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Thank you all for the support and reminder that they work for me. Sometimes that gets cloudy, especially when they have attitudes. But, it’s true and they can’t just get away with that. I will be calling today and try to come to some resolution with them.

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On 12/06/2019 at 07:34, mediocreoblongata said:

Thank you all for the support and reminder that they work for me. Sometimes that gets cloudy, especially when they have attitudes. But, it’s true and they can’t just get away with that. I will be calling today and try to come to some resolution with them.

The resolution was to keep on purée stage until 12/17, when I have a phone appointment with the nutritionist.

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I am glad you guys came to a resolution! I hope you feel okay with that outcome. That's a long road for purees, but at least you will know your stomach is well-healed and ready to move on! I'm proud of you for advocating for yourself and I sure hope you did something fun with your day off!

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