Social Anxiety

[debra102364 148]

I haven't had my surgery yet.

The way it looks it will be late August or around the first of September.

I will be glad when I can get it and start out on a new healthy.

I don't know if any of you have had issues with social anxiety. I think it has a lot to do my weight. If I have lost weight it's like I am more talkitive if I haven't I pretty much hide myself in my phone.

My husband has family in and we are supposed to go see them. I just don't want to go. They don't mind speaking what they think. I have had the praises when I am smaller and the Smarty Pants words of, "you've gained weight". I just don't like the thought of putting myself through the negativity.

Yes, I don't really like leaving the house, even to the grocery store, even if they dont say anything about my weight. I feel like their looking at me. I just don't want to go, if I don't go my husband will get all offended. I wonder when I lose the weight if I will be more secure or feel bad because everything is always about someones appearance and not who they are.

Can't they see that. If your losing maybe it's because you want to get healthy and don't need all their opinions.

Some people never have had to fight gaining weight. Everything they put in their mouth doesn't effect them, not one ounce. They just don't know the struggles.

For now though I don't feel like being social but my husband will make me or it will be a big fight. So here I go getting out of my comfort zone so I can be torn apart and loved at the same time. I guess I will just have to agree, Yes I Have Gained Weight.

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[LL1982 16]

Hi debra102364,

I too have horrible social anxiety, but I've had it since I was a teen. It just so happens that it's worse now after gaining almost 80 lbs. in 2 years. I actually started seeing a therapist for social anxiety just recently. She's using the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach. I had to explain to her that a lot of the social anxiety comes from a fear of being judged for gaining so much weight in a short period of time (I gained the first 50 lbs. in 2016, and have been struggling with my weight ever since). I feel terrible about myself. My last Dr.'s visit is August 1st. From there they submit for approval from my insurance company. If all goes well, it looks like we might be having surgery around the same time. I know one thing's for sure though, and that is this. When I weighed a healthy 125-130 lbs. I felt so much better about myself, and my social anxiety wasn't as bad. Weight loss alone will not resolve my social anxiety, but it will definitely help it. I'd like to say that I want to have surgery solely for health reasons, but I'd be lying. I'm tired of feeling bad about myself, I'm tired of avoiding my friends and family because of my weight, and I'm tired of not finding myself to be even remotely attractive. My mood has really shifted though in the last couple of months though now that the last Dr.'s appointment is getting closer. I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even if I'm being judged now because of my weight (which may or may not be happening), I know that soon I will feel better about myself, and know that this very difficult and long journey of being morbidly obese will be coming to an end. I know I will not lose 80 lbs. over night, and I know that this will take a lot of work, especially mental work. Crossing my fingers that I don't get denied, and that we'll both be on the operating table some time in September. Thank you for writing about this topic. Sorry if I've gone on a bit too long. Just wanted to let you know that I totally get it. Both social anxiety and obesity suck. Just glad there's a solution.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Thoughts aren't necessarily true. Fear can keep you stuck, I know this from my own anxiety. People are mostly thinking about themselves and not you so much. Sure there are exceptions.

You might be surprised at your personality changes after surgery, you might find your voice and finally tell a few people to shut their pie holes - there are some that need it. And you will find you need outside approval less and less. Because you are worth it. You have settled for less because you tied your worth to your weight. Please journal about your journey - start now it really helps. Thank your body for getting you this far in life, make some plans to be kinder to it from now on. Good luck.

[debra102364 148]

Hi debra102364,
I too have horrible social anxiety, but I've had it since I was a teen. It just so happens that it's worse now after gaining almost 80 lbs. in 2 years. I actually started seeing a therapist for social anxiety just recently. She's using the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach. I had to explain to her that a lot of the social anxiety comes from a fear of being judged for gaining so much weight in a short period of time (I gained the first 50 lbs. in 2016, and have been struggling with my weight ever since). I feel terrible about myself. My last Dr.'s visit is August 1st. From there they submit for approval from my insurance company. If all goes well, it looks like we might be having surgery around the same time. I know one thing's for sure though, and that is this. When I weighed a healthy 125-130 lbs. I felt so much better about myself, and my social anxiety wasn't as bad. Weight loss alone will not resolve my social anxiety, but it will definitely help it. I'd like to say that I want to have surgery solely for health reasons, but I'd be lying. I'm tired of feeling bad about myself, I'm tired of avoiding my friends and family because of my weight, and I'm tired of not finding myself to be even remotely attractive. My mood has really shifted though in the last couple of months though now that the last Dr.'s appointment is getting closer. I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even if I'm being judged now because of my weight (which may or may not be happening), I know that soon I will feel better about myself, and know that this very difficult and long journey of being morbidly obese will be coming to an end. I know I will not lose 80 lbs. over night, and I know that this will take a lot of work, especially mental work. Crossing my fingers that I don't get denied, and that we'll both be on the operating table some time in September. Thank you for writing about this topic. Sorry if I've gone on a bit too long. Just wanted to let you know that I totally get it. Both social anxiety and obesity suck. Just glad there's a solution.

So glad you wrote. You know what everyone is to be accepted but when your whole life you been made fun of, it's hard not to fear what people think and be a little insecure. I have seen a therapist for about 4yrs, not the same one but have been undercare. I also see a provider who writes my prescriptions. But not once have anyone work through my past, my weight and feeling not to smart and don't measure up. I read a lot of self help books so I have encouraged myself along the way. Also working on self mentally, physically and spiritually. Which is always directing me and us all if we realize we are all special in God's eyes and he has purpose for us to fulfill a destiny to run the race for. This surgery is all part of the journey. Waiting for my surgeon to submit my papers to the insurance and then hopefully a date. Glad to have friend's on Bastricpal to talk too. Thanks for writing to me LL1982.

Sent from my LM-Q710(FGN) using BariatricPal mobile app

[debra102364 148]

Thoughts aren't necessarily true. Fear can keep you stuck, I know this from my own anxiety. People are mostly thinking about themselves and not you so much. Sure there are exceptions.
You might be surprised at your personality changes after surgery, you might find your voice and finally tell a few people to shut their pie holes - there are some that need it. And you will find you need outside approval less and less. Because you are worth it. You have settled for less because you tied your worth to your weight. Please journal about your journey - start now it really helps. Thank your body for getting you this far in life, make some plans to be kinder to it from now on. Good luck.

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. All that your saying I know is true in my heart. To but it into action and get it in my head is another thing. They say the battlefield is our minds if we can get that in control how much we really can accomplish. They say the most successful people were rejected and rejected but they bet that and changed the world. So why can't we also do it. I step at a time I am coming to make it. Thank you Thank you!!!

Sent from my LM-Q710(FGN) using BariatricPal mobile app