I didn't start gaining a lot of weight until I was about 40. I'm now 49. I was pretty fit until then. Through the years as the weight piled on I realized people started treating me differently. They weren't as friendly as they were when I was thin. It wasn't my friends or family but the public. I was wondering if any of you who have lost a bit of weight can tell a difference in the way people treat you now.

Yes, I have noticed a difference in the way people treat me. Most of it has been positive. There have been some negative people. My sister told me I was losing too much weight. She told me I should stop now, then offered me something to eat! One of my co-workers who've also been thin is acting strangely towards me. Looking at what I'm eating, then offering me a doughnut. I don't understand it. I wouldn't do that to anyone else trying to lose weight. My mother told me its that person's insecurities coming out. I think so too. It took me a long time to get were I'm at. Why can't people be happy for you?

12 hours ago, justmetj said:

. I was wondering if any of you who have lost a bit of weight can tell a difference in the way people treat you now.

People respond to your positivity and increased self-confidence. Healthy is seen as attractive. It’s sad that I feel more valued in society because I am at a healthy weight.

I see a difference in how I’m treated. A few things I experienced.

Some positive:

• Strangers look me in the eye and smile more
• I’ve had attention from the opposite sex, Unnerving at first when you have been invisible.
• Men hold doors open more often
• Sales people seem more helpful
• I’m excepted as a part of the fit gym crowd. Many do not know I was formerly obese.
• Job opportunity’s/promotions have been offered.

Some negative:

• Some close friends no longer associate with me. It reminds them of their own struggles.
• I have been judged by a few people in my local support group. (stopped going) I fell in the lower BMI category. Comments. “you didn’t have to work as hard” “working out/running as much as you do is an eating disorder” “if you gained some weight you would look less skeletal”
• An unsupportive family member “you know you’re just going to gain it back” She is my motivation to never gain it back.

Years out, life becomes normal. I don’t notice how differently I’m treated anymore. The compliments and focus on your weight loss are over.

Totally agree with the one where you're eating healthy. Thinking healthy and nobody wants to hear it LOL reminds them of their failures!!

I hate that the answer is yes, but it is. There is a difference between moving about in society as an obese person and a normal sized person.

Many times while obese I felt people did not see me or you get the feeling people are just looking through you.

How much of the way people treat us after losing weight may be due to new found positive energy that we project out, well who can say.

Thank you for your responses. I knew what I have been experiencing since the weight gain was real. I definitely relate to people almost looking through you or being invisible. You guys nailed it. Also I feel like they think because I'm obese that I'm "lower class". It's sad that being obese not only comes with aches and pains but "silent fat shaming" . As far as the sabotaging I've also seen that first hand from some, women mostly, when there friends were trying to diet. They would bring doughnuts, candy, pizza whatever it took and practically beg there "friends" to eat it. It's definitely their insecurities.

Edited February 15, 20197 yr by justmetj