Ah geez, where to begin. Without divulging my entire story that probably sounds like everyone else's, basically, I've struggled with eating, my weight, my physical activity, diets, depression, etc for the longest time. I'm in my mid-40's and I got the diabetes 2.0 diagnosis after being "pre" for a couple years now. I have scheduled my first surgical consultation in September. I know there's a long road ahead including pre-scheduling dieting, etc.

I guess what I'm struggling with is that since the "wheels are in motion" with the whole thing, my food-addicted self is saying that since I'm probably going to get the surgery that it's ok to eat whatever the hell I want and to not even try to help myself prior to even meeting the surgeon. I can't help myself and if something doesn't give soon, I'm going to have to be brought into the first appointment by forklift i think.

Any advise before I start this journey?

Thanks all, you guys all seem real nice and helpful based on the 100's of posts that I lurked in before deciding to post myself...

I kind of went through that mindset before surgery too. My friend and I went to the first info session together, and we thought we would be weighed in that day, so we went to a Mexican restaurant before the meeting to get in our last great meal and weigh more for that meeting to make the next weigh in better if we didn't eat right before going.

It's difficult to think that you are never going to be able to have your favorite foods again (but you will, in moderation, it will just be a while), and being afraid of the way your relationship with food is going to change. What you're going through is normal, but just remember that every pound that you put on is one more you have to re-lose. If you're like me, you've lost and gained, and then had to lose again over the years, and I was never so frustrated at having to lose those same pounds over and over just to get to where I had made it before.

Take a deep breath, recognize that you have the power to make better choices, and make a goal to do a little better each day. You don't have to make a bunch of huge changes, just pick one small change each week, and celebrate the days you achieve your goal. Examples: drink water instead of something sugary, substitute a healthy food for a trigger food, go for a walk. Can you do just one of those things a day? Small achievable goals help set your confidence to win!

Thanks so much for the feedback. I find myself making bad decisions even when I'm not craving an extra snack or something bad in general. This is the part that really scares me, the fact that I don't even have control when I'm not actually hungry or bored, necessarily. I think my brain is just wired this way now.

I wish I had lost more weight before surgery. Starting over 300 pounds is tough. The less you weigh at surgery, the quicker you will get to goal.

Use the time you have left wisely. You won’t regret it.

I definitely had the same attitude for a long time - since I'm getting the surgery, I can do whatever I want now. I thought to myself "it doesn't matter whether I lose or gain weight now, the surgery will take care of it". I really wish I'd spent more time building healthier habits - ESPECIALLY around working out - and I really wish I had lost more weight before surgery. Not by depriving myself, but by starting to be more mindful and planful about what I was eating, why, and when I was eating it. I just had surgery last Monday, so I'm not super far out yet, but I really do look back and wish I'd been starting to chip away back in January/February when I started this whole thing rather than waiting until surgery!

55 minutes ago, PENGU1N said:

Thanks so much for the feedback. I find myself making bad decisions even when I'm not craving an extra snack or something bad in general. This is the part that really scares me, the fact that I don't even have control when I'm not actually hungry or bored, necessarily. I think my brain is just wired this way now.

You can train your brain to be "re-wired" but it takes a while. Small changes, achievable goals - it's a start. It will add up.

10 hours ago, KimTriesRNY said:

I wish I had lost more weight before surgery. Starting over 300 pounds is tough. The less you weigh at surgery, the quicker you will get to goal.

Use the time you have left wisely. You won’t regret it.

Thanks Kim, my inner voice keeps telling me that I don't need to try until my first meeting with the surgeon, but my common sense knows better than that. Unfortunately the inner voice wins a lot more times than my common sense does.

10 hours ago, AELdoesRNY said:

I definitely had the same attitude for a long time - since I'm getting the surgery, I can do whatever I want now. I thought to myself "it doesn't matter whether I lose or gain weight now, the surgery will take care of it". I really wish I'd spent more time building healthier habits - ESPECIALLY around working out - and I really wish I had lost more weight before surgery. Not by depriving myself, but by starting to be more mindful and planful about what I was eating, why, and when I was eating it. I just had surgery last Monday, so I'm not super far out yet, but I really do look back and wish I'd been starting to chip away back in January/February when I started this whole thing rather than waiting until surgery!

Thanks AEL, I have told myself so many times that I'm going to get better at exercise so I have not one, but now two pieces of gym equipment that now double as bed sheet drying racks; more the latter, unfortunately. I'm hoping the support of this website and the pre-op process itself will help me turn this around.

10 hours ago, ChaosUnlimited said:

You can train your brain to be "re-wired" but it takes a while. Small changes, achievable goals - it's a start. It will add up.

I read this also, I'm so hoping its true, thanks again

My highest weight prior to going to my first meeting with my surgeon was 379lbs. I actually went in to schedule to have an umbilical hernia repaired but he said at my weight it would more than likely tear again or others would more than likely pop up. That lead to a discussion about WLS along with some other info. I had been disgusted with my weight and how I felt for some time so I talked it over with the boss (wife) and decided to go for it. I did have the same mindset you did about eating everything and anything before I couldn't any more but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to. I did eat some of those meals in the first month but as time went on and I learned more I wound up cutting back the no no foods. The day of surgery I weighed in at 342lbs. That was in a span of 3.5 months. I convinced myself that I wanted to succeed and did my best to cut out the crap I was eating. It's wasn't easy pre op and mentally is still hard today but It has gotten better.

All the people that have responded have been through it and succeeded and so can you. As hard as it gets you have everyone here to support you and help you through. Good luck on your journey!!! You can do it!!!!!

49 minutes ago, J San said:

My highest weight prior to going to my first meeting with my surgeon was 379lbs. I actually went in to schedule to have an umbilical hernia repaired but he said at my weight it would more than likely tear again or others would more than likely pop up. That lead to a discussion about WLS along with some other info. I had been disgusted with my weight and how I felt for some time so I talked it over with the boss (wife) and decided to go for it. I did have the same mindset you did about eating everything and anything before I couldn't any more but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to. I did eat some of those meals in the first month but as time went on and I learned more I wound up cutting back the no no foods. The day of surgery I weighed in at 342lbs. That was in a span of 3.5 months. I convinced myself that I wanted to succeed and did my best to cut out the crap I was eating. It's wasn't easy pre op and mentally is still hard today but It has gotten better.

All the people that have responded have been through it and succeeded and so can you. As hard as it gets you have everyone here to support you and help you through. Good luck on your journey!!! You can do it!!!!!

Thanks J, by the way, love the Punisher skull avatar, very cool.

I'm so worried that I'll get to that first appointment and they're going to say things that I really don't want to hear like it's going to be another 6 months before they can do anything. I realize this is part of the process, but I'm scared that in 6 months, it's going to be just another failure in a long line of other attempts to change my ways. Every time, its like, "this time will be different".

I really need something that is going to make me stick with whatever i have to get done in order to get the surgery. Not sure what that is yet though.