Surgery with children?

[jezka62 0]

I am new to this forum, but am wondering if those of you who are post-op could offer some advice. My husband and I are both planning to get the gastric sleeve surgery, but our biggest conflict is deciding if we should both do them at the same time or staggered. We have one-year-old twins, so we don’t know if it’s better to try and get someone to help us for a little while and get it all over at once or if we should do one and then the other once the first person is healed. I kind of want to do them together because I’m worried that if one sees the other struggling that we might back out, but I don’t know if it’s doable. How long were you restricted on lifting after your surgery and how long after would you say until you feel like you would be able to care for children? Thanks so much in advance!

[Matt Z 4,138]

I would NOT personally do both surgeries at the same time, I was told nothing over 10 lbs for 6 weeks. You are going to be ZAPPED for a few after surgery, I couldn't imagine both parents being out of commission with a set of 1 year old twins needing help. You'll want someone else to be able to take the children for you if you need time to relax or if you are in pain. My 2 cents. I personally wouldn't have had my wife and I laid up at the same time, Just don't see how that would work.

Good luck with your decision!

[Creekimp13 5,838]

Another vote for doing it staggered. I'd do it six months apart, personally (at least 3). If you have live in help, you might be able to do it a the same time, but I think you'd be a lot better off taking turns.

[GreenTealael 24,868]

6 hours ago, jezka62 said:

I am new to this forum, but am wondering if those of you who are post-op could offer some advice. My husband and I are both planning to get the gastric sleeve surgery, but our biggest conflict is deciding if we should both do them at the same time or staggered. We have one-year-old twins, so we don’t know if it’s better to try and get someone to help us for a little while and get it all over at once or if we should do one and then the other once the first person is healed. I kind of want to do them together because I’m worried that if one sees the other struggling that we might back out, but I don’t know if it’s doable. How long were you restricted on lifting after your surgery and how long after would you say until you feel like you would be able to care for children? Thanks so much in advance!

Stagger even if only by a few weeks / months to make sure everyone and everything is okay. Too many variables to consider.

Safe journey!

[GreenTealael 24,868]

Some people have smooth sailing all the way through BUT some have complication after complication. That is a possible outcome you must consider (squared) and then factor in twin infants...

You will require some level of help but no telling until after surgery . After surgery you need to spend alot of time focusing on your recovery.

Your children are still very young and will require A LOT of help with everything.

Staggering will give the help needed and a realistic view of life after.

Safe journey!

Edited May 30, 2018 by Tealael

[Creekimp13 5,838]

i'd stagger your surgeries. Complications are real. They happen. I understand wanting to go through it together...and you still will....but I'd space your surgeries apart. One partner is the patient, one is the caretaker....then you switch roles. You're still doing it together. I would suggest you get help for your household, even doing it staggered. Twins are a lot of work. Cutting down from two caretakers to just one....is a huge difference.

[Bryn910 519]

I would not suggest doing them at the same time unless you had 24 hours/day live in help. You should do them staggered. It’d be different if you had maybe 10 year old twins that could fend for themselves a bit but 1 year olds?! My goodness. An you imagine giving them a bath with the both of you being unable to lift and in pain?

Definitely staggered. Good luck to you both

Edited May 30, 2018 by Bryn910

[Bryn910 519]

Just now, Bryn910 said:

I would not suggest doing them at the same time unless you had 24 hours/day live in help. You should do them staggered. It’d be different if you had maybe 10 year old twins that could fend for themselves a bit but 1 year olds?! My goodness. And you imagine giving them a bath with the both of you being unable to lift and in pain?

Definitely staggered. Good luck to you both

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

8 hours ago, jezka62 said:

should both do them at the same time or staggered

@jezka62

you are actually thinking about being sleeved at same time as DH??

you have one year old twins? Are you on drugs? ROFLMAO

definitely have WLS at different times.

congrats on pending sleeve and those wonderful kids!!!

kathy

[Kay07 734]

I would agree with Creekimp13. My husband had open heart 2 weeks prior to myself, and although I had a super easy recovery and a ton of family support, it did cause some unnecessary troubles. If I could have scheduled everything on my own, I would definitely have put them at least a month a part. Even when recovering easily, you still deal with exhaustion. In addition, there is the limited lifting capacity. With both your husband unable to lift, it could make caring for 1 year olds difficult.

My children are 8 and 4 so it was easier, but with children so young its going to be harder as they won't be able to understand why you are unable to pick them up or play with them. Just my 2 cents though!

[YeahOkay31 651]

Oh, no, no, no---For your own sake do it 6 weeks apart so one of you can pick up the littles. Mine are 3 and 7 but the 3 year old is used to being picked up and sometimes needs to be picked up (tantrums and what not). I don't know what I would have done without my husband to pick up the slack.

[Overcomer2food 3]

At the beginning of the year 1/3/2018, I was sleeved my twins were 19 monthsin Mexico and went alone while my husband watched the twins. Mine were and still are breastfed. At the hospital I pumped and dumped. Our doctor had a 25 lb weight restriction for a month. My recovery wasn’t that bad and as soon as I got home of course they were crawling all over me. Unfortunately, I had no downtime when I returned home plus my husband was exhausted from taking care of them. I didn’t need any pain meds 3 days after surgery. As a mom you never get a break.

My husband saw my progress and was sleeved 2/17/2018. He was the biggest baby and was in so much pain. He apologized to me because he couldn’t believe all the stuff I did with the twins when I got back. My husband was on pain meds up until a week or so after surgery. He struggled and couldn’t handle them jumping on him.

Everyone’s relationship and recovery is different. You have to do what’s best for you,

Me: 26w to 20w

him: 42 to 36

Edited May 31, 2018 by Overcomer2food

[Ylime 453]

I understand the desire to just get it over done with. But, I'll echo what others have said. If complications arise, even a minor one could send your household into a tizzy. God forbid something major happens, but it's a real possibility. This is a major surgery that comes with major risks. It's easy to lose sight of that since we all just want to be healthy again so badly. As hard as it is to wait, I think your whole family will do better in the long run if you stagger your surgeries.

Once you make that decision though, the next hurdle is deciding who goes first. My husband also wants to have the sleeve but we agreed that I would go first for two reasons: 1. I have more obesity health issues than he does and 2. I am more prepared to make the necessary lifestyle changes post-surgery. My recovery will be very telling for him as he'll either be scared off by it or it will give him the reality check he needs to be more successful with his own surgery.

Good luck to both of you!

[Losebig 508]

I have 2 young kids, 1 and 3 at the time of surgery. I would stagger them by at least 8 weeks, that’s the typical lifting restriction. If you have someone like a relative there all the time then you could do it together, but logistically if you can’t lift the kids you have a big problem (we had this struggle even with my wife and extra help because you need to lift little ones constantly for something). It would be great to go through it together, but with that age life is hard enough!

[annanay1 14]

Anyone in this group from Chicago?