I went to lunch with a friend and had to make a ton of excuses about my food choice or lack thereof . This person does not know about my surgery (I want to keep all of my health issues private so I only told two people who are my proxies)

How do you deal with friends without outright lying (not my style to lie)

But still maintain your privacy?

HW 270

SW 238

CW 182

VSG 11/7

[emoji146][emoji146][emoji146]

34 minutes ago, Tealael said:

Lol i need friends that dont eat lol

Oh don’t worry, you can find those!

I just shut-up, smile mysteriously and don't explain anything.

It adds to the drama and suspense!

1 minute ago, FluffyChix said:

I just shut-up, smile mysteriously and don't explain anything.

It adds to the drama and suspense!

I may try this...

Just now, Tealael said:

I may try this...

It's gonna get way more fun when I'm thin and at goal! Cuz you know...there is no disguising someone going from 287 down to 150 in about 18 months. LOL. Inside I'm kinda like waiting for Christmas. But of course, they do all know I'm "eating healthy and exercising" so it might not be as much fun and mystery as I think.

If I'm pressed, I just say stuff like, "Dang! Lunch is still with me!"

I’m a secret sleever and once I got past the puréed stage I have found it really easy to keep my secret when dining with friends. Nobody has suspected a thing. I have been ordering an app and just picking at it and saying I had a big lunch or breakfast. I live on the coast and I’ve found ordering a half dozen grilled oysters as my meal to be a lifesaver. The plate looks big and full but in reality there’s only 6 big bites of soft food. Nobody has suspected a thing and I’ve dining out with friends several times

I am in sales and I go to restaurants with clients all the time. I do get sick of hearing “what....didn’t you like your food?” I just tell people that I had a lot of weight to lose so I am working on portion control.

Brunch with a coworker this morning, ate one egg Benedict sans muffin and then a few bites of fruit. Colleague noticed I wasn’t eating much but all I said was “had a big coffee at the airport” and that was the end of that.

Its really less of a thing than you might think. They only start digging if they think you’re hiding something.

24 minutes ago, sideeye said:

Brunch with a coworker this morning, ate one egg Benedict sans muffin and then a few bites of fruit. Colleague noticed I wasn’t eating much but all I said was “had a big coffee at the airport” and that was the end of that.

Its really less of a thing than you might think. They only start digging if they think you’re hiding something.

Are these people you dine with very occasionally or more frequently? I don’t know if my colleagues are just super nosy or what, lol! One off meals are no big deal like you describe. But once someone has seen me barely eat more than once, I definitely get questions!

Apparently all of my friends and acquaintances are SUPER nosy and ive become a mystery they need to solve. Sometimes i think i should have just made a wls instagram profile so i would not have to answer questions over and over again. I dont quite have the energy for it, coupled with other medical concerns i just wanted a little peace on this journey... But nope either way my eating habits are the subject of much discussion

Edited May 7, 20188 yr by Tealael

I got outed at a department meeting. I had only told a few people at work (primarily my boss and co-workers who covered for me when I was out). The next thing I know I was at an interdepartmental meeting (maybe 40 people or so, some of whom I barely know) and their department head gives me a big thanks for jumping right back into work after my surgery. I could have died.

She didn't mention what type of surgery, but still . . .

I tried to let it go, but ended up sending her an email letting her know that while I appreciated the sentiment, I had not discussed my medical issues with many people and preferred to keep them personal. Yeah, like that's gonna work now, but at least maybe I saved the next person!

She hasn't spoken to me since (or acknowledged the email) and it's been nearly a month.

4 minutes ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

I got outed at a department meeting. I had only told a few people at work (primarily my boss and co-workers who covered for me when I was out). The next thing I know I was at an interdepartmental meeting (maybe 40 people or so, some of whom I barely know) and their department head gives me a big thanks for jumping right back into work after my surgery. I could have died.

She didn't mention what type of surgery, but still . . .

I tried to let it go, but ended up sending her an email letting her know that while I appreciated the sentiment, I had not discussed my medical issues with many people and preferred to keep them personal. Yeah, like that's gonna work now, but at least maybe I saved the next person!

She hasn't spoken to me since (or acknowledged the email) and it's been nearly a month.

Probably to pretend nothing happened because im sure it would look like a hostel workplace complaint that you could go to HR about...

1 minute ago, Tealael said:

Probably to pretend nothing happened because im sure it would look like a hostel workplace complaint that you could go to HR about...

You're probably right.

I told my boss I was having surgery because she needed to know why the dates when I expected to be able to work from home and when I expected to be able to return to the office were estimates, but I didn't tell her what kind of surgery it was.

15 hours ago, abefroman329 said:

I told my boss I was having surgery because she needed to know why the dates when I expected to be able to work from home and when I expected to be able to return to the office were estimates, but I didn't tell her what kind of surgery it was.

I'm glad you didn't, and if she would have asked it likely would have been an HR violation.

I've heard a great line at a group meeting - "i'm eating less and moving more". the end.