My man said I cheated

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

On 23/03/2018 at 1:06 AM, Missytee said:

My man says that having the VSG surgery is cheating with weight loss.

Yeah, he's right.

You cheated.

You cheated early death ... the extremely high likelihood of a significantly earlier mortality by shrinking yourself and the co-morbidity risks that come with obesity.

You can also exercise another choice ... calculate if he's "on the same page" as you in other aspects of life and relationships. If his commitment to you is less than it should be, excise him sooner rather than later.

[humblebeast 8]

Lmao I just read all the comments and people are really in here telling this woman to throw away her whole relationship for something like this?

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Im dead ass serious, life is too short to go nack and forth with someone about something as simple as getting your own health together. It’s your life. If your own mate can’t understand that you are doing this to save your own life then obviously he doesn’t see value in your life. When someone loves you for you, there are certain things in life that yiu should not have to explain. I don’t settle or neither am I desperate, are you? My confidence was high before Vsl. So if it were me Hell yea i’d throw the whole damn relationship away. I say that because my girl did not want me to have the surgery for her own selfish reasons! This is my life and if u dont support me then you can take your ass own SIMPLE!!! Fool!

[summerset 5,261]

On 22.3.2018 at 3:06 PM, Missytee said:

I get so frustrated trying to defend my reasoning for the surgery. How is everyone else handling this?

Why do you even defend yourself instead of just rising an eyebrow? How can one "cheat weight loss"? That's a quite ridiculous thought in itself.

If I respond verbally at all I usually say people are cheating at washing clothes because they use a washing machine instead of going down to the river and slapping their panties on a stone to clean them.

A raised eyebrow combined with a "So?" is also usually enough to shut people up.

Edited March 24, 2018 by summerset

[summerset 5,261]

8 hours ago, illailla said:

Lmao I just read all the comments and people are really in here telling this woman to throw away her whole relationship for something like this?

This site can be a little melodramatic at times, depending on the subject.

[illailla 79]

This site can be a little melodramatic at times, depending on the subject.

Glad I'm not the only to notice. I know the surgeries cause hormonal spikes but sheesh lol.

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[summerset 5,261]

On 23.3.2018 at 2:40 PM, FluffyChix said:

Here's the translation for him: Dude, I don't wanna hear it. Bottom line? I'm sexy and hot and you get the benefit of my new hot bod with all kinds of crazy great sex.

Hot bod? What hod bod exactly? Unless a guy is accidentally into loose skin there won't be any hot bod before plastic surgery and even then we're not going to look like people with intact skin.

[FluffyChix 17,410]

Well thank you for the dose of reality from the world according to @summerset.

LOL, my high weight was 325. I'm now 208 this morning. I can ASSURE you that comparatively speaking, I now have a smoking hot bod even without further weight loss. Do I have some jiggly puff? Yep. Do I need to continue to lose and will that jiggly wiggle become more prominent? I am prepared for that eventuality. But MY guy who loves and supports me, tells me everyday how great I look. And it's pretty clear he wants me. And I can move better, have less pain while doing it, and it all pans out to better sex for us both...so I suggest we agree to disagree. It's a YMMV thing.

Edited March 24, 2018 by FluffyChix

[Mattymatt 491]

@FluffyChix Well done! Superbly played. :-)

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[summerset 5,261]

6 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

Well thank you for the dose of reality from the world according to @summerset.

No problem. I felt the fluffy rainbow unicorns from the world of FluffyChix needed a little reality check.

And yes, we can agree to disagree.

Edited March 24, 2018 by summerset

[FluffyChix 17,410]

6 minutes ago, summerset said:

No problem. I felt the fluffy rainbow unicorns from the world of FluffyChix needed a little reality check.

And yes, we can agree to disagree.

Yeah? Well that's a good thing, too! Cuz otherwise I woulda had to suggest we take this outside and settle it the real way...with MMA fight club kickboxing and a good ass whippin'. And I am happy to save you the humiliation, cuz we all know how stealth I am with my yehaw high leaping lizard kicks.

Edited March 24, 2018 by FluffyChix

[Creekimp13 5,838]

Here's a reality check for ya: abusive relationships make us sick, sabotage our hard work, and keep us fat.

Ditch anyone who treats you like this. Yesterday.

OP's boyfriend might just need an attitude adjustment that could be achieved with a little education and a heart to heart.

But if he doesn't knock this crap off....only a doormat would put up with it.

Some nonsense isn't worth working to correct. Makes too much of your life toxic.

[Mattymatt 491]

I cannot countenance a pattern of being purposely mean and spiteful to someone you love. This pattern of behavior is not normative, it is sociopathic. I feel strongly about this because I am a survivor of verbal and psychological abuse.

[sideeye 1,440]

It all depends on the pattern. Is he someone who consistently undermines you? Is he the type to look at you in a new dress that fits in all the right places and he says "yeah, but you should wear a cardigan because your arms don't look great"? Does he taste the food you cook and say that there's just something missing that would've made it great? Does he make you the butt of jokes and then tell you you're too sensitive if you object? Does he slight you in private or public? If so, and this is just the latest event in a series where he's looking for a chance to bring you down, he doesn't sound worth it.

But if this is an unusual thing and out of character for him, then it's worth taking a little time to consider why he might be reacting this way. Is he overweight, and worried about being "the fat boyfriend" or being pressured to have the surgery himself? Is he terrified of surgery and the risks involved? Did he read about the divorce rate involved in this surgery and thinks you'll lose weight and leave him? None of these are particularly good reasons, mind you, but they help explain why he might have had such a shitty reaction and said something dumb. It also would give you better topic to discuss than "why are you such a jerk" (which is kind of merited but unlikely to be helpful).

Leaving someone based on a single comment is probably overreacting. Leaving someone based on a pattern of behavior is not - if he's making it his mission to diminish you, then this is just the latest sign that he's not worth keeping around.

[frust8 962]

And some of us are not merely hormonal, we have emotional baggage. Part of us (myself included) put up with verbal abuse in the past, swallowed our pride and yes it leaves a hulking big lump in your throat, believed it was our burden to bear, and the way things were supposed to be. Even nearly 6 years post---remnants pop up in my head at times. It was rough to believe in my own self -worth but now I do and I realize at this late date in life, I am good, I can stand on my own 2 feet and people like me for myself, not an extension of my parents or husband. And Darlin' we don't mean to come across bossy, we just want to prevent you any pain now and in your future dealings. Call it the Mommy or Grandma in me but I hate to see anyone emotional hurting, okay?[emoji70]

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[johnsons13 359]

Saying she's cheating isn't necessarily verbal abuse. You getting frustrated is normal when our loved ones don't get what were doing. Like someone else said educate him. There's a lot of non wls people that believe we're taking the easy way out. I didn't hear anything extra along the lines of him putting her down. My hubby is a great guy and I get frustrated with him constantly, but there's no verbal or physical abuse. And I'm a survivor of major abuse. I'm sure your boyfriend gets frustrated as well. This is an emotional time for you. Also, maybe he has a fear of once you get smaller you'll leave him for "something better", maybe he's insecure. My husband and I have discussed this fear he has. But my hubby has loved me fat, sick, healthy, pregnant, etc. But he's insecure and is afraid I'll want someone skinny like me (he's heavy, not obese). Have a heart to heart with boyfriend. If you love him communication is key.

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