Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I feel like a failure



Recommended Posts

Venting

My lapband surgery was dec 2015. I droped from 230 to 185 in 5 months. I was so proud of my self. i was diagnosed with endometriosis, and had ablation surgery in april 2017. In sep 2017 i got gallbladder disease, so another surgery. I found a lump in breast last month, i was scared shitless..

I stress ate, i cryed, the wait made me a mess. Lucky it was only 3 cysts and it was taken care of.

To add on Im going to college full time with a 3.8 gpa, stay at home mom, with 2 children. My son is has a severe speech delay. So i spend therapies are alot.

No excuses, i found it easier to eat out. On the run, and now i am up to 203lbs!! Im not gonna ask how this happened. I know what i did wrong, i feel like a failure. I cryed today when i got on the scale. I always told the nurse dont tell me my wieght, and today i finally got the courage.

I know it will be hard but i will be ok, i can drop the weight again, and keep it down.

I have to keep it down for myself, my children, and my heart condition. I just need to talk to someone who understands, no one i know has WLS, my family is very thin and dont get it. I feel i have let myself down. I feel im in this alone.

Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow,...you have a serious plate full of responsibilities there!

Munchkins are a lot of work...and being a sharp student on top of it...takes an amazing amount of energy.

And it's so easy to get spread too thin and get wiped out by everything that needs to get done when the kids are small.

So been there:)

Please don't be down on yourself. You're pulling up and you're taking action....that is awesome! You should feel proud of that. Just keep trying every day. That's all anyone can ask of you. Do your best.

Speaking of proud....3.8gpa smartypants...that's a terrific accomplishment! On top of running after kiddos and working on some special needs....that's a lot.

I think you need to have a heart to heart with your partner, and get some help so you can have more time to take care of yourself. Put some of those skinny family members to work helping out. LOL:)

Nothing I'm saying here is much help...but know that most of us reading this are pulling for you and get it. You're not alone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh my dear ---- I'm so sorry. I mostly want you to know that there are people out here to read these posts and definitely - hear you and get it. I'm also here to tell you to never, never give up. I'm 66. Got up to 43 BMI when I got the band in 2008. Got down to 32 BMI and stayed there for 5/6 years and then gradually gained abt 30lbs -- so abt 50% of what I lost. Like you - I just decided to bite the bullet and find a way because I just couldn't bear to put it all back on. I didn't get a conversion surg. I went on a medically supervised Liquid Protein fast. Took 4 mons and lost slowly due to age -- BUT I took the 30lbs off and more. Am now 26 BMI and have been stable there for 10 mos. I had my band adjusted and my band (that I was convinced didn't work anymore) really was a blessing in helping me through the liquid fast. It just really kicked in again. I had an arm lift 2 mos ago and I have a TT coming up in early March. Listen to me --- YOU CAN DO IT! Don't beat yourself up. The past is the past.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You failed. Congratulations, you're human. We've all failed at something. And now that you know what you've done wrong you know how to avoid it in the future and you know what you need to do now to get back on the right path. You've got obstacles to overcome, more than most of us certainly, and for starters you have to learn to be more selective when you do eat out. It's not that hard when you think about it: Ditch the bun on a sandwich, order broiled chicken, order the salad and so on. I'm not saying it's easy to actually do, because if it were none of us would need the surgery in the first place.

Bottom line: Don't beat yourself up over this. You fell into bad habits, you're aware of what you did wrong and you know how to correct it. So correct it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone, i have cleaned out my kitchen from junk food and bought healther options. This year is been crazy. Im realize im not alone. I had been gone from this page for almost a year. I didnt realize how much support i needed from other people who have been/are on the weight loss journey. Its not easy. I toom your advise and sat down with the hubby, he has noticed but didnt want me to feel bad, he was not sure how to bring it up to me without hurting my feelings. I am starting a workout video for 15mins today and increase with time. I gonna pace myself.
Thank you everyone for the motivation and advice


Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Frios, you are far from a failure. So, you had a setback. Stuff happens. You caught it before you gained it all back and then some. What do you do now? Exactly what you did and we alllllll do.... we have our meltdown, and pity party. We keep it brief and don't camp out there. Then, we pick ourselves up, put on our super woman britches, dust ourselves off, and roll up our sleeves before we dive right back to doing what we know we should do. Life is messy and filled with potholes and detours... just hold coarse and barrel through it. You'll reach your goals! ((((( Sending positive energy and vibes your way! )))))

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Frios, I UNDERSTAND. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY - YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! I too have a Lapband and can relate to every struggle that comes with it. I've had mine for 11 years and it has slipped twice (once required surgery,)and now it has a leak. I had not been able to hold any saline Fluid for 2 years & I've gained EVERY single of the 135 pounds that I lost & more. I can go on and on, but I won't bore you with my woes. I finally stopped beating myself up & made the decision to get revision surgery in Mexico.

Thank goodness that your band still works. You just have to remember that it's a tool and like every "tool" you've got to know how to use it. You've already had success with your Lapband which means you CAN do it again. I know it's not easy, but I can be done.

You're going to be okay☺

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You only fail when you give up. You clearly haven't given up. So, this isn't failure, it's a set back. I felt like a failure as well, I lost a decent amount of weight, then that was it, gained and lost, over and over. For 5 years. I stopped going in for check ups, etc, because I didn't' want to be "that patient" that failed with the band.

Guess what. My surgeon not only laughed off my "failure" but advised me that the band was over hyped and that my results were typical. I still have a long way to go, that's why I'm having Band to Bypass revision in a few days.

Just remember not to beat yourself up over falling down. Just get back up, dust yourself off, dry your eyes and get back on the path.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am a stress eater so I know where you are coming from. A failure is somebody that falls down and does not get back up. I rely heavily on my stubborn streak to put me back on track and yes...a good cry gets you going as well. I too was disgusted to get back on the scale but the fear of getting back to square one scared me even more.

I think you are amazing and faith and courage will pull you through this because there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×