I'm New, in Need of Support & Encouragement

[Littel_Urchin 24]

Hi, I’m 31 y o female, been fat as long as I can remember, finally got so fed up and decided to take the plunge last year. I will not spend another decade as a fat person. Saw the surgeon in Nov 2017. I know I’m a good candidate (241.5 lbs and 5’4”, BMI was 40+). As per the usual practice, he referred me to several specialists (dietitian, psychiatrist, physiotherapist, and endocrinologist) and will see me again in March 2018. FYI, he recommended the sleeve.

First was the dietitian. I’ve been put on a simple diet by her. She prescribed the standard -500 cal daily thing and did not put me on any food restrictions. I think she wants to go gentle and just take baby steps. I’ve lost 10 lbs so far. Sometimes I feel good about this as I’d never lost any weight at all, much less keeping them off but sometimes I’d read about someone losing 40 lbs on their initial pre-surgery diet within the same time frame and I’d feel like such a failure again.

Second was the endocrinologist. Blood works confirmed I have Type 2 diabetes (have suspected so, was afraid to get it checked). Blood pressure is also through the roof. Am now taking Forxiga and Metformin XR combined with Lisinopril for the blood pressure and vit D pills for some reason. I feel like a total failure sometimes.

I’ve seen the physiotherapist twice. Both times she was too afraid to prescribe any exercise because my blood pressure is very high and ended up prescribing me some very mild form of exercise (like standing-up-sitting-down rep, lifting 9 oz bottles rep, that kind of thing). I admit I seldom do these. I walk everywhere and I feel I burn more calories doing that.

I haven’t seen the psychiatrist yet, I’m meeting him this week.

There are also other non-health issues intersecting with this surgery that make this journey especially hard.

I have parents with Narcissistic personality Disorder (NPD) and am Low Contact (LC) with them. There is no way am I involving them in this journey. I am also an expat and don’t really have friends. Colleagues I can talk to, perhaps, but not confide in. My support system is literally only my girlfriend of 11 years. Oh yeah, that’s right, I’m in a same sex relationship, too. LGBTQ is officially condemned here but most people generally mind their own business. We do have gay pride here. Still, I can’t risk upsetting my healthcare providers (I know they’re supposed to be professionals blah blah but you can’t control personal bias and I feel more comfortable with them not knowing).

I really need a support system. There are support groups here of course, but for the reasons stated above, I can’t be completely honest about my situation and feel what’s the point of even going. I have anxiety and am easily stressed out in social situations which will make me feel restless, leading to sleeping troubles which will drive my blood pressure up again. I feel more comfortable with online forums hence here I am.

ETA - I'm also concerned about juggling work with the surgery and all its pre- and post- that entail.

Edited February 19, 2018 by Littel_Urchin
Additional material

[it'sonlythefirststep 141]

Hi i’m 47 female over weight since my first child 28 yrs ago. Gain 100lbs in that pregnancy. I saw my surgeon January 4 and agreed that the sleeve was my best option. I am 5’2” 260lbs BMI 46+ I have done everything that is required by my insurance company. They submitted everything to them two weeks ago so now it is waiting for approval. My blood pressure is up at every Dr visit. I believe it’s the white coat effect! I test it at home and it is normal.
I am excited and nervous. I will also need a hernia repaired it was discovered Feb 9 during the EGD. Waiting for the results (biopsy) from that test too.
Dr’s Office said usually it takes them over 2 to 3 weeks to get approval. Waiting game. I’ll be on a 2 wk liquid diet before surgery and then 2 else after.
I am ready to be able to run around with my grandson in the Texas summer. I stay at home with my handicap daughter (she’s 28).

[Losingit2018 1,170]

Welcome to you both. I have not been here too long myself but I do feel that you will both get plenty of support here.

I have found that you don't really find too many judgemental people in the overweight/obese community. Stick around. I feel sure that others will be chiming in soon.

Meanwhile, I am glad to meet you both

[LaLaDee 519]

Congratulations on starting the first steps of what will be an incredible journey!

You will find an awesome support network here. A lot of us are dealing with a range of physical and emotional issues so there is always someone who can relate! We are all different but we are all trying to commit to living healthy.

I really think it’s important to acknowledge what brought us to this point, make peace with it and then start forming a kick ass action plan. Don’t compare yourself to others! Think about how you’re doing! Get tips here, but don’t worry about the person who lost 200 pounds in three months.

Honestly, anyone doing this is so brave! We should all be proud of ourselves. So what if we got dealt a tough set of challenges? Look at what we are doing to overcome them!

You will soon be weight loss ninjas!

[Littel_Urchin 24]

Thank you, all!

22 minutes ago, LaLaDee said:

A lot of us are dealing with a range of physical and emotional issues so there is always someone who can relate!

Hi, LaLaDee! So far no luck in finding a femme bisexual in a closet relationship who is also going through the same thing, but I'll take your word for it! =D Been having fun reading the posts here, though.

ETA: I love your words of encouragement, thank you. Deciding to do this surgery is no joking matter and now that I feel it's getting near, I'm panicking!

Edited February 19, 2018 by Littel_Urchin

[LaLaDee 519]

1 hour ago, Littel_Urchin said:

Thank you, all!

Hi, LaLaDee! So far no luck in finding a femme bisexual in a closet relationship who is also going through the same thing, but I'll take your word for it! =D Been having fun reading the posts here, though.

ETA: I love your words of encouragement, thank you. Deciding to do this surgery is no joking matter and now that I feel it's getting near, I'm panicking!

Lol. You may be seeking a unicorn there. I'm a failed heterosexual for what it's worth, but we're a dime a dozen!

It's OK to be scared. It is a big deal and a huge decision. But it's also a huge opportunity. I was mostly terrified and in denial (e.g. for some reason I didn't think it would actually happen), but if I knew then what I know now, I would have been excited - not about the surgery - but about my life and how I would feel afterward. I think you've got a lot of good things in the future to look forward to!

[Littel_Urchin 24]

3 hours ago, LaLaDee said:

Lol. You may be seeking a unicorn there. I'm a failed heterosexual for what it's worth, but we're a dime a dozen!

Girl, looking at your profile pic, I find it hard to believe! You look pretty

When I lost the initial weight when I started dieting, I told all my healthcare providers I've changed my mind. I was excited and thought I could do it the old fashioned way. But then the weight loss slowed down and I just can't go down that yo-yo dieting road again. I have to do this.

[angyplus5 470]

Welcome! Welcome!!! So glad you found us!!!

Sent from my SM-G930VL using BariatricPal mobile app

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Welcome little urchin. No problems with your life with me. Life is too short to not have someone to love who loves you back. I helped my cousin come out to his mother, and a few years later when he married his husband he paid my cousin Shani and I the great honor of escorting him down the aisle. And yes I cried just as much there as all the straight weddings I've,been to. He and his Casey are so happy together. My Baribuddy Fluffy Chix had a cartoon I loved, said "anybody's mean to you I'll be on them like a monkey on Mountain Dew." Mountain Dew is very high caffeine soft drink. I think you'll find acceptance on Bariatric Pal and we are loyal to our own here. We' ve fought our "fat" battles and I think we are better and nicer people for it.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[LaLaDee 519]

17 hours ago, Littel_Urchin said:

Girl, looking at your profile pic, I find it hard to believe! You look pretty

When I lost the initial weight when I started dieting, I told all my healthcare providers I've changed my mind. I was excited and thought I could do it the old fashioned way. But then the weight loss slowed down and I just can't go down that yo-yo dieting road again. I have to do this.

You’re so sweet! Only my mum has ever called me pretty!

Theres absolutely no shame in going down this path. For the best results, you need to embrace surgery. Maybe it is last resort but you are giving yourself the best opportunity to lengthen your life. That is something to be proud of! Who cares if it’s not the old fashioned way? The old fashioned way doesn’t work for a lot of us!

Edited February 20, 2018 by LaLaDee

[Littel_Urchin 24]

12 hours ago, angyplus5 said:

Welcome! Welcome!!! So glad you found us!!!

Thank you!

10 hours ago, kakatlady612 said:

Welcome little urchin. No problems with your life with me. Life is too short to not have someone to love who loves you back.

Funny you should say that! My favorite inspirational quote is from Moulin Rouge "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return"

10 hours ago, kakatlady612 said:

I helped my cousin come out to his mother, and a few years later when he married his husband he paid my cousin Shani and I the great honor of escorting him down the aisle. And yes I cried just as much there as all the straight weddings I've,been to. He and his Casey are so happy together.

Wish I had someone like you for real in my life. I'm not giving up hope though, my motto now is, as long as you are still alive, there's always a chance your dream will come true =D

1 hour ago, LaLaDee said:

Theres absolutely no shame in going down this path. For the best results, you need to embrace surgery. Maybe it is last resort but you are giving yourself the best opportunity to lengthen your life. That is something to be proud of! Who cares if it’s not the old fashioned way? The old fashioned way doesn’t work for a lot of us!

Agreed! I suppose WLS was always in the back of my mind but do you know what finally made me decide to do it? RuPaul's Drag Race. Seeing those queens live their lives to the fullest made me realize that I am not, and a great deal of that is because I'm fat.

[Sleeved36 356]

Welcome!

Just found this thread and wondered where you are in process? Hope all is well. If you are looking for support KEEP COMING HERE!

There are a lot of warm and accepting people. I am so sorry you can't be more open with your health care providers. It makes me sad. I am a nurse in the gayest city in America , (not SF, they were so ruined by the tech boom) . I really hope you can find a supportive circle in your community. If not, keep coming here!

[FluffyChix 17,409]

Welcome to the boards! Most of us here are nice, but I can be a bit*hy little girl sometimes! *snort* Congrats on taking the first steps toward a new life of your making!

[newmebithebypass 713]

Hey hon just letting you know you have support I'm a closet non bianairy pansexual polyamorus married to a bit curious closeted man who is also poly fun right lol but yeah no matter what you are going
Thru you have a friend in me ok

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