Feeling Helpless

[MissLindseyR 110]

I'm about 3 months into my 6/7 months of preop wait for my insurance and I've been doing all the things to get ready for this surgery. I keep reading the books, finding people to follow online, exercising, trying to watch what I eat, but for the life of me I feel like I'm already failing. I was on Saxenda and was doing great, but my insurance decided I didn't need it and now I'm worried I won't lose weight before surgery. I don't have an amount I have to lose and the dr office says I'm doing great, but I keep putting so much pressure on myself. Almost as if I should be losing a ton of weight alone, however, if I could, I wouldn't need wls. Right. Haha. Sorry I just needed a place to let these feelings out. Does anyone have any tips on managing this pressure/anxiety? Any tips on something to read? I guess maybe it's the wait, I'm ready now to take this journey, but with trying all I can I keep losing nothing and it's so defeating.

[orionburn 1,023]

3 minutes ago, MissLindseyR said:

Almost as if I should be losing a ton of weight alone, however, if I could, I wouldn't need wls.

That's just it...that's why we're here. I managed to lose around 130-140 lbs through diet & exercise alone. Well, that and a lot of ephedrine back in the day...lol. Then I quit smoking. Then I got laid off and ended up in a really bad job. And slowly but surely all that weight started to creep back on (regained at least 80 lbs).

If it helps try to set some small goals and don't rely on only having scale victories. It's like trying to quit smoking. We tend to beat ourselves up relentlessly when we cave in and have one after a few days of quitting. Yes, it's a lapse, but take some pride in going a few days without any at all. I think it's human nature to beat ourselves up for failings but we have to focus on the good things too. You stumble, then get back on track. If you fail again, so be it. Try again and again and again.

[MissLindseyR 110]

13 minutes ago, orionburn said:

That's just it...that's why we're here. I managed to lose around 130-140 lbs through diet & exercise alone. Well, that and a lot of ephedrine back in the day...lol. Then I quit smoking. Then I got laid off and ended up in a really bad job. And slowly but surely all that weight started to creep back on (regained at least 80 lbs).

If it helps try to set some small goals and don't rely on only having scale victories. It's like trying to quit smoking. We tend to beat ourselves up relentlessly when we cave in and have one after a few days of quitting. Yes, it's a lapse, but take some pride in going a few days without any at all. I think it's human nature to beat ourselves up for failings but we have to focus on the good things too. You stumble, then get back on track. If you fail again, so be it. Try again and again and again.

This is true. Maybe that's what I'm doing, I'm focusing on every bite and calories burned and weight loss. I think I'll try the small goals idea. Set small goals and be excited for them. I'm going to have to have my husband hide my scale. It brings me down too much.

[orionburn 1,023]

15 minutes ago, MissLindseyR said:

This is true. Maybe that's what I'm doing, I'm focusing on every bite and calories burned and weight loss. I think I'll try the small goals idea. Set small goals and be excited for them. I'm going to have to have my husband hide my scale. It brings me down too much.

Throw that thing away! lol

Seriously, there are better victories to be had. I see so many on here get in this constant fight with the scale. Weighing multiple times a day (which I will never understand why people do that) and freaking out because they gained half a pound since three hours ago.

Not that my way is the right way, but when I was trying to get back on track I'd pick something to focus on. If it was getting back to the the gym on a regular basis I just did that. I didn't try to do that and completely rework my diet all at once. In time as I realized I'm doing all this working out I wanted to change my diet so it wasn't going to waste. If there's something you really can't give up right now or struggling with food wise then set a goal not to have it during a weekday and wait until the weekend. Those can be small victories as well. Just have to find what works best for you.

[KatFight 207]

I agree, it's a very defeating feeling when the numbers on the scale are not declining especially when we work so hard to lose weight. You may be having a "stall," which is common when losing weight. lol - agreed, we wouldn't need wls if we could do it all ourselves. If we could, we would have lost the weight a long time ago.

About anxiety: try to accept that the numbers may not move for awhile and that you'll still make it to your goal in the end. Get physical when those anxious feelings are whirling around - a walk or doing some reps with hand weights may help. Connect with your inner child and try adult coloring or put a jigsaw puzzle together.

Reading: I like to read digital magazines. I can read short bits at a time. Many local libraries offer free digital well-known with a library card and download of an app. Texture is a digital magazine service I use and charges a monthly fee.

I started at 299 lbs. At 3 months, I was 286 lbs. (followed diet closely) so that was 13 lbs. lost., and, at one month post-op, I'm 259 lbs.. It will come off. By the way, I stayed at 286 for month and a half despite my dedicated efforts. Then, the pre-surgical diet helped me drop another 9 lbs

You are doing what you need to and your successes will come. You're going to be great.

[kakatlady612 1,053]

I've hated,my scale ever since it said "tell your 2 friends to get off and just weigh yourself" Hey Mr Caculating Beast it's just ME.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

Does your program have a support group (in person) that meets? Maybe going to a meeting would help. You say the anxiety and pressure are internal - have you considered working with a therapist to help you develop some better coping methods so you don't drive yourself batty? I am very hard on myself - to the point where I was afraid to do my 1 year follow up with my team because I had convinced myself that I had failed. Guess what - they asked me to be a speaker for the newbies at support group. We are often our own harshest critics - consider finding someone to speak with you that will be your champion. You've got this.

[MissLindseyR 110]

47 minutes ago, Diana_in_Philly said:

Does your program have a support group (in person) that meets? Maybe going to a meeting would help. You say the anxiety and pressure are internal - have you considered working with a therapist to help you develop some better coping methods so you don't drive yourself batty? I am very hard on myself - to the point where I was afraid to do my 1 year follow up with my team because I had convinced myself that I had failed. Guess what - they asked me to be a speaker for the newbies at support group. We are often our own harshest critics - consider finding someone to speak with you that will be your champion. You've got this.

They do have a support group, I'm going to my first meeting next week. They have it twice a month.

[MissLindseyR 110]

1 hour ago, KatFight said:

I agree, it's a very defeating feeling when the numbers on the scale are not declining especially when we work so hard to lose weight. You may be having a "stall," which is common when losing weight. lol - agreed, we wouldn't need wls if we could do it all ourselves. If we could, we would have lost the weight a long time ago.

About anxiety: try to accept that the numbers may not move for awhile and that you'll still make it to your goal in the end. Get physical when those anxious feelings are whirling around - a walk or doing some reps with hand weights may help. Connect with your inner child and try adult coloring or put a jigsaw puzzle together.

Reading: I like to read digital magazines. I can read short bits at a time. Many local libraries offer free digital well-known with a library card and download of an app. Texture is a digital magazine service I use and charges a monthly fee.

I started at 299 lbs. At 3 months, I was 286 lbs. (followed diet closely) so that was 13 lbs. lost., and, at one month post-op, I'm 259 lbs.. It will come off. By the way, I stayed at 286 for month and a half despite my dedicated efforts. Then, the pre-surgical diet helped me drop another 9 lbs

You are doing what you need to and your successes will come. You're going to be great.

This is some what similar to what the dr said. I mean the habits I am creating will help me in the long run. I just wanted to try to lose some to boost myself ahead a little. But I think honestly I'm taking the excitement out of it. No matter what, I will lose, I am getting the tool I need to help me.

[MissLindseyR 110]

1 hour ago, orionburn said:

Throw that thing away! lol

Seriously, there are better victories to be had. I see so many on here get in this constant fight with the scale. Weighing multiple times a day (which I will never understand why people do that) and freaking out because they gained half a pound since three hours ago.

Not that my way is the right way, but when I was trying to get back on track I'd pick something to focus on. If it was getting back to the the gym on a regular basis I just did that. I didn't try to do that and completely rework my diet all at once. In time as I realized I'm doing all this working out I wanted to change my diet so it wasn't going to waste. If there's something you really can't give up right now or struggling with food wise then set a goal not to have it during a weekday and wait until the weekend. Those can be small victories as well. Just have to find what works best for you.

I am one to weight almost daily. It's horrible, then when I go to the dr and it says different I get upset. I rely too much on that dang scale. I will throw it out and just focus on making healthier choices and getting stronger in my workouts. Also Water, I can get to about 70oz and they want me at 100oz. So much drinking.

[kakatlady612 1,053]

Regress to the Vitamin drinks maybe you'll tinkle the weight off.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

[blizair09 3,250]

What does a typical day of eating look like for you? How many calories? carbs? How much Protein? Do you exercise at all? Do you track everything you consume?

I ask all of these questions to try to help you get underneath why you aren't losing any weight despite efforts to do so. I lost a lot pre-op myself, but I diligently followed a Keto diet and exercised religiously for the entire six months...

[MissLindseyR 110]

1 minute ago, blizair09 said:

What does a typical day of eating look like for you? How many calories? carbs? How much Protein? Do you exercise at all? Do you track everything you consume?

I ask all of these questions to try to help you get underneath why you aren't losing any weight despite efforts to do so. I lost a lot pre-op myself, but I diligently followed a Keto diet and exercised religiously for the entire six months...

Honestly, I haven't tracked this week at all. Protein I get about 70g. I do eat carbs, but normally just rice and not much of it. Calories, I'm honestly not sure. Maybe that's where I'm messing up, probably getting more in than what I'm thinking. As far as exercise, I work out 3 days a week at the gym and then one night a week of pole fitness. I have tried Keto before and was in ketosis, however, I still didn't lose much. I honestly kept losing and gaining the same 8lbs.

[blizair09 3,250]

2 minutes ago, MissLindseyR said:

Honestly, I haven't tracked this week at all. Protein I get about 70g. I do eat carbs, but normally just rice and not much of it. Calories, I'm honestly not sure. Maybe that's where I'm messing up, probably getting more in than what I'm thinking. As far as exercise, I work out 3 days a week at the gym and then one night a week of pole fitness. I have tried Keto before and was in ketosis, however, I still didn't lose much. I honestly kept losing and gaining the same 8lbs.

I was 397 pounds when I started, and I weighed 298 six months later on the day of surgery. I started at 2000 calories; a month later, I went to 1800; a month later to 1500, and I ate 1200 calories per day the last 3 months. I had less than 20 carbs every day. I wrote down everything that I put in my mouth (including water) and kept it in a food journal. (I still do that 22 months in, by the way.)

Your BMI is about what mine was when I started, so maybe that calorie strategy will work for you. The keto diet isn't for everyone. It works for me because I like meat and cheese, and it is sustainable for me because I like what I eat. You need to find an approach that you feel like can be sustainable for you.

Why don't you try tracking your food and seeing if you see some results? You may be one that has a harder time losing weight, but you might be taking in more calories per day than you realize...

Good luck!

[MissLindseyR 110]

9 minutes ago, blizair09 said:

I was 397 pounds when I started, and I weighed 298 six months later on the day of surgery. I started at 2000 calories; a month later, I went to 1800; a month later to 1500, and I ate 1200 calories per day the last 3 months. I had less than 20 carbs every day. I wrote down everything that I put in my mouth (including water) and kept it in a food journal. (I still do that 22 months in, by the way.)

Your BMI is about what mine was when I started, so maybe that calorie strategy will work for you. The Keto diet isn't for everyone. It works for me because I like meat and cheese, and it is sustainable for me because I like what I eat. You need to find an approach that you feel like can be sustainable for you.

Why don't you try tracking your food and seeing if you see some results? You may be one that has a harder time losing weight, but you might be taking in more calories per day than you realize...

Good luck!

I will try this! Do you still do a low carb lifestyle now even after your surgery?