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I'm still not sure. What got you past that unsure feeling? Help!



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Like a lot of you, I've struggled with weight for YEARS. I keep thinking I should be able to lose weight on my own. After all, I know how. I've done it- several times! I've considered WLS several times in the past, but talked myself out of it. Now I'm 55 and wondering if I'm too old. I decided I'm not!

I see there is a lot of information out there. Both for and against. ("It's the best thing I've ever done" vs. "It has ruined my life.") This time, I've gone a little farther in. I've picked out and seen the Bariactric team. I've watched all the videos. Started on the plan.... Letter of Necessity, consults from other specialties, dietician, etc.

I just don't feel that commitment. Even though I'm jumping through all the hoops headed that way.

Has anyone been here? What got you past that unsure feeling? Help!

Edited by annette17
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What got me past my fears:

1. An endometrial cancer scare (obesity increases odds of getting this cancer)

2. A pre-diabetic blood glucose A1C

3. Arthritis that was limiting how far I could walk or how long I could stand

4. Wanting to do adventure vacations with my someday grandkids

5. Wanting to do more fun active things with my hubby and bestie

6. Wanting to live.

7. Wanting to be off medications instead of adding them.

Everyone is scared of the "what ifs" involved in having weight loss surgery.

Statistically, you should be more concerned about the "what ifs" involved in remaining obese.

Obesity related cancers, heart disease, diabetes, mobility issues, stroke, etc.... scare me a hell of a lot more than a two hour surgery that I've done my homework on and have had safety tests to prepare for.

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Most of those things are on my "Pros" list. :) and are very important. And I am very concerned about all of the medical "what if's" if I continue to stay where I am or worse. My issue is my own psyche. I'm a failure for not being able to do it "the right way" with proper nutritian and exercise. I really have no good excuses as to why I haven't or don't do it. But I haven't for 30+ years... And am very tired of waiting to get my mind right.

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It isn't like a lightning bolt that gets you from 'eh' to damn I'm doing it wahoo! It is slow contemplation and examining your relationship with food and yourself. I could lose weight, have lost 30, 50, 70 lbs over and over, it will be easier to KEEP it off with the surgically smaller stomach. Good luck.

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2 hours ago, annette17 said:

Most of those things are on my "Pros" list. :) and are very important. And I am very concerned about all of the medical "what if's" if I continue to stay where I am or worse. My issue is my own psyche. I'm a failure for not being able to do it "the right way" with proper nutritian and exercise. I really have no good excuses as to why I haven't or don't do it. But I haven't for 30+ years... And am very tired of waiting to get my mind right.

No, you're definitely not! As you have gained weight your body chemistry has changed and many factors are in play in your body that are designed to keep you overweight. It's crazy how different our bodies are, metabolically, compared to normal weight individuals. The surgery resets us metabolically. (Some studies have shown improved metabolic markers after surgery even for people who don't lose very much weight!) And the junk food we all eat (ate!) was literally engineered using top-secret additives and ingredients to increase pleasure, influence your neural pathways, and keep your hand moving to your mouth. Get angry at the food industry and use that anger to rebel against it by eating whole, nutritious foods instead. Surgery will make that much easier.

I use the analogy of climbing a mountain. When we're obese it's like we are climbing it with a gigantic boulder on our backs, weighing us down and preventing us from going very far. Some tiny subset of people are so strong they are able to make it to the top, but most of us never will. Surgery takes the boulder off. We still have to do the climb ourselves - there's no chair lift to the top - but it gives us the opportunity to actually be successful.

Here's a wonderful video from Dr. Matthew Weiner about deciding to have WLS:

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Wow great answers everyone!!!! Ok! I'm doing this thing!!!! ((hugs all around))

I will be a year out in my process as of May. Still preparing for them to give me the big ol' yes. And I second guess myself and what I'm doing every-other-day. I think mostly, it's to be expected. It's a serious, SERIOUS purchase. It's non-refundable/no-few exchanges. LOL. It's as permanent as having a kiddo or getting married! That kind of decision doesn't come without second guesses. You know? :D

At this point in my life, I've seen the disease side of things...the pain side, the descrimination/limitation side. Now I'm ready (I think) to do things a different way. food has not been a friend to me. We're breakin' up!

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A gal who used to post on here framed it best for me... like me (and you) she had lost “on her own” several time and always gained if back. She called it weight MAINTENANCE surgery. It allowed her to keep it off.

It’s done the same for me, for four and a half years.

There’s a lot of biochemistry involved in who becomes obese and why it’s hard to lose and keep it off. Ghrelin, leptin, gut microbiome, seratonin.... sometimes the surgery is also a reset of some of those systems and can change the “thermostat” of where your body wants to be. It did for me.

Do you listen to podcasts at all? This one is quite eye opening—

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/weight-loss-surgery-podcast-bariatric-lap-band-rygb/id662443588?mt=2&i=1000373855300



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Wow great answers everyone!!!! Ok! I'm doing this thing!!!! ((hugs all around))
I will be a year out in my process as of May. Still preparing for them to give me the big ol' yes. And I second guess myself and what I'm doing every-other-day. I think mostly, it's to be expected. It's a serious, SERIOUS purchase. It's non-refundable/no-few exchanges. LOL. It's as permanent as having a kiddo or getting married! That kind of decision doesn't come without second guesses. You know? [emoji3]
At this point in my life, I've seen the disease side of things...the pain side, the descrimination/limitation side. Now I'm ready (I think) to do things a different way. food has not been a friend to me. We're breakin' up!


Actually probably more permanent than marriage!


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OK. Wow! That helps. Thanks to all. The Dr. Matthew Weiner video was good. You guys are great. Thanks.

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Annette darlin' you're welcome, all of us on here are a work in progress, we are struggling toward a goal of good,health and a. longer life.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

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On ‎1‎/‎29‎/‎2018 at 5:38 AM, jess9395 said:

A gal who used to post on here framed it best for me... like me (and you) she had lost “on her own” several time and always gained if back. She called it weight MAINTENANCE surgery. It allowed her to keep it off.


I love this! I'm recently sleeved at 53 yrs old and decided to do it because all those times I lost before, there was nothing to keep me from slipping back into bad habits. I realize I can do that with the sleeve, but it's a different feeling of commitment now that it's done, and my body will definitely send me some signals. But for me the real reason to do it was being sick and tired of being tired. I moved to beautiful Colorado, full of outdoor activities that I would love to enjoy, but didn't feel physically able to. I went on vacation mid-decision, and realized that I couldn't go on the excursion DH and I really wanted to do because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to fit into the survival gear. I am sick of my weight limiting my enjoyment of life. I'm eligible to retire in 3 years and want to maximize everything!

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I needed to read this thread today. I'm a year in from when I first talked to my GP about getting referred to our local bariatric clinic, and I've been feeling discouraged and wondering if I really want to do this. I *know* I want WLS and that I need it for all the same reasons as the rest of you. I've just hit a bit of a wall with the waiting game, and trying my damnedest to lose the 10% my surgeon requires. The questions and doubts just keep creeping in.

I'm trying to think about it like waiting in line to get on a roller coaster, which is always far worse than the actual ride (which I end up loving 9 times out of ten). Right now I'm about halfway through the line and trying not to let the knots in my stomach put me off.

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Mrs Gamgee I just met a new bari-friend and maybe you' d like her too. Her name is Lesliebari, lives in the BC Rockies and b will,have, hers somewhere on the coast, I'm guessing maybe Vancouver. Now to remember what thread she was on? Oh pafizzle, I'll go searching and see if I can find it.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

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On 1/31/2018 at 10:43 AM, Miss Topaz said:

I love this! I'm recently sleeved at 53 yrs old and decided to do it because all those times I lost before, there was nothing to keep me from slipping back into bad habits. I realize I can do that with the sleeve, but it's a different feeling of commitment now that it's done, and my body will definitely send me some signals. But for me the real reason to do it was being sick and tired of being tired. I moved to beautiful Colorado, full of outdoor activities that I would love to enjoy, but didn't feel physically able to. I went on vacation mid-decision, and realized that I couldn't go on the excursion DH and I really wanted to do because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to fit into the survival gear. I am sick of my weight limiting my enjoyment of life. I'm eligible to retire in 3 years and want to maximize everything!

That's me! I am tired of not being able to fit in the seat on the ride or not wanting to even try so that I won't be embarressed when I don't. THere are so many things that I have always wanted to do and haven't because of my weight! Aside from the health issues, I just want to be comfortable in my own skin.

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For me, it was a year long process of going back and forth. I had a consultation in January to start the process. Around May, I thought maybe I could do this on my own, so I stopped seriously thinking about surgery. Well, come fall, I jumped on the scale and saw 300 lbs for the first time in my entire life and freaked out. I didn't want to continue down that path, so I knew that bariatric surgery was the route I needed to take. It was the best decision I've ever made, but it did take me a while to come around to it. I'm so glad I did. If not, I'd likely still be 300 lbs and miserable.

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