I don't understand (goal weight rant)

green · October 25, 2007

Chickie, you are a very chic woman and you have been fabulously successful with your weight loss project. Kudos to you and to Jachut and to NYC Julie and to the others who have done it. As for those of us who have set a more modest goal, well, I don't see anything wrong with that. When these folks achieve their goals they may well re-evaluate and continue on by setting new and more aggressive goals. It all depends on one's individual psychology, I think. The point is that we are all here, banded and working on losing weight.

I am 5'6'' and currently weigh in my high 140s. (I do remember being absolutely thrilled, though, when I was told that I weighed only 170 because it meant that the band was working!) I now have a healthy BMI. When I was in my twenties and thirties I weighed in the 130s so I figure that I am at goal. Unfortunately I am defilled at the moment. I have been since August. This is because I had a bad attack of acid reflux, my first ever. My problem at the moment is maintaining. Ugh!

phyllisc · October 25, 2007

"What makes me angry is when people attack YOUR goal or YOUR weight to justify their own. Indiogirl you just said you would look awful at 130, which is perfectly fine, you didnt call it anorexic or scrawny and ugly, that's what makes me angry, not that people dont have the same goals as me"

I don't get why anyone would call you anorexic, scrawny or ugly. I just saw your pic on another thread and I think you look curvey and well put together. Maybe they need glasses....

Daisalana · October 25, 2007

You're a vixen Chickie, pff!

And you guys have a right to 'brag', hell it gives the rest of us motivation at the very least.

green · October 25, 2007

Chickie, it sounds like you have had a lot of poop flung in your direction. I sure am sorry to hear that you have had to go through this, grrl, but remember, this has nothing at all to do with you and everything to do with that creature known as jealousy. As you can see, you have got a lot of friends on this site. Keep on doing what you are doing. :biggrin1:

Chickie · October 26, 2007

See, now you all have me blushing a fetching shade of bright red!!

Although while I was out for my run this morning (and as an aside, don't take your dog out for a run when she doesn't want to go. It makes for a very frustrating run) I can see how people might get the impression that I am obsessed.

I do have a very "go hard, or go home" attitude when it comes to my health, eating and exercise. I am passionate about the things I am involved in, and I enjoy what I do. My husband on the other hand, while he wants the type fitness I have, and he wants to lose the last 10-15kg, he just doesn't care that much. He is happy where he is.

I don't respect him any less because of this, but I do think he could have everything he wants with regards to his health, if he put a little more effort in. He knows I feel this way. And when I express this, he smiles at me and says "We can't all be hard asses" And I am fine with that. He has lost enough weight that his health has improved, as has his quality of life. And that, in the end is the single most important thing. Health and quality of life. If you have those, it really doesn't matter what you weigh.

Jachut · October 26, 2007

Golly, you could be talking about Doug and I, lol.

I'm the same, I either do something 200% or not at all. Why walk when you can run kind of thing. When I did my first half marathon a few weeks back, I never ever went into it thinking I could walk a bit if I got tired, that to me just wouldnt be the same. It was run the entire thing or dont do it.

So I was never going to set a high goal weight, its just not like me to do that.

So yes, I think its personality dependent to a large degree.

And Doug wants a piece of the action, wants to lose the weight but in the end he just doesnt care enough to actually make more than a half successful stab at it. Like your DH he's improved his health but he's not really fussed by getting down to his teenage weight or anything. And the less exercise he has to do to actually lose weight then the better, in his mind.

SlimTarnishedDiva · October 26, 2007

My goal weight when I started this whole journey was 110lbs from what I weighed in June. Since I have to go through so much to get approved for WLS surgery; I changed my eating habits and started physical therapy for a childhood injury... I've lost 33lbs...down to 292 from 325. I've always been a heavy girl, even in high school when I was very active and had much more control over my injury, I weighed 215. So, that's where I set my goal. A place where I can be healthy, and still Chunky...I like having a little extra...

I can't worry about what someone's lost or haven't lost when I have my own weight loss challenges to contend to... I can be happy for them, congratulate them, and share a story or two. But, to judge them, or hate on their success would be awfully wrong on my behalf. What they eat don't make me.... You have to do you, regardless of what others think.

BRANDYK · October 26, 2007

I know when I originally decided to get banded, I told myself I'd be happy if I could just get down to about 180-190. After getting banded and changing my lifestyle, I'm not settling for anything higher than 165. I'm six foot one, so that's a perfect weight for me, that will put me in a size 10-12, and looking at old pics of myself at that size tells me I'll be a SMOKIN babe when I get down to that. I've had a few people ask me what my goal weight is and when I tell them 165 they think that's still high and I have to remind them how tall I am.

Mariposa Bella · October 26, 2007

Originally Posted by Mariposa Bella

I'm 5"2" but always say I'm 5"3", started at 195 lbs a busting out of size 16, got down to 137 size 8, sometimes, very few times a 6.. and now I'm at about 155 in a size 10. Okay now tell me, why have some of you chosen to have such small goal weights of 120 or below?? I thought I wanted to weigh 130 but when I was 137 my husband said that is enough, don't lose anymore, you are starting to look sickly, you look great like this please don't lose anymore, so I stopped. I was a nice size 8, and felt great at that weight, I am truly amazed when I read that some of you are a size 0 or 2, WOW, I don't think I'd ever want to be that skinny.. Not for me, I need to get back in my 8 and I'll be comfortable.. So ladies, please don't feel that you have to get to a tiny little number, re-evaluate yourself when you lose weight, find a healthy, normal range for you, just my humble opinion.

My goal weight picked me. I didn't try to get down to 107lbs, but through a good healthy diet, and daily exercise that's where I ended up. And I don't look ill, or sick at all. I am not skinny, nor do I feel pressure from anyone to be thin.

At an 8 or a 10, I am still fat. I am tiny. I have tiny feet, tiny hands, and and am just a little person. So my current weight suits me just fine. Skinny is not actually a word I would use to describe myself. I look athletic, and healthy. Not skinny.

My weight does not define me at all. Nor does the tag on my dress. And I am sorry that you get the impression that it does, but you are very wrong about that.

I'm glad to hear that you feel perfectly healthy at your weight, I was just saying that I would hate for some of us to feel like somehow we were not successful with our bands if we don't get to such a tiny number. For me, 137 was a great weight, so that's is all I meant. Maybe I'm just jelouse.. I'm happy for you.. don't misinterpret my post.. I'm not the most eloquent at speaking or writing. I just want everyone to decide what is best for them, not for anyone else.

Was my post what started this debate?? Good Lord, I hope not. As I said, FOR ME, that would be too small or yes in my eyes too skinny.. and I hate to say this, but there is such a thing as being too thin.. Look at how Nicole Ritchie and the Olsen twin girl looked.. they looked disgusting. I'm not the only one that thinks that. I am happy that some/all of you are meeting your goals at 100%.. Forgive me if I fell short of meeting my goal of 135 and stopped at 137. I personally looked really good, some oldies on this board saw my pictures taken after my weightloss and surgeries and if I say so myself, I looked pretty damn good. For me, 137 is a good weight.. My 12 year old daughter weighs about 120 lbs (very athletic and toned, she's a dancer) and is a size 0 or 1 depending on the brand.. And for me that would not be a good weight.. I could however steal her very cute clothes, Hugh?? There's a thought. No seriously, I don't want to offend anyone, but each and everyone of us, needs to evaluate themselves and decide where they feel good and healthy. And to those idiots that are sending pm's offending others, stop it.. Be happy with yourself, love yourself and respect others.. Didn't your momma teach you all this??

Mariposa Bella · October 26, 2007

By the way, right now, I'm at 155, yes I've put weight on, STRESS IS A BITCH.. But I haven't had a fill in a year and am way overdue.. I'm Getting one in two weeks. Just had to tell you that for me, fighting the weight monster will probably be a life-long process.. Thank God for my band.. Now I just have to put it into use again.. And I'm back on the board trying to get inspiration and support from all of you. Thanks.

Mariposa Bella · October 26, 2007

Originally Posted by Mariposa Bella
I'm 5"2" but always say I'm 5"3", started at 195 lbs a busting out of size 16, got down to 137 size 8, sometimes, very few times a 6.. and now I'm at about 155 in a size 10. Okay now tell me, why have some of you chosen to have such small goal weights of 120 or below?? I thought I wanted to weigh 130 but when I was 137 my husband said that is enough, don't lose anymore, you are starting to look sickly, you look great like this please don't lose anymore, so I stopped. I was a nice size 8, and felt great at that weight, I am truly amazed when I read that some of you are a size 0 or 2, WOW, I don't think I'd ever want to be that skinny.. Not for me, I need to get back in my 8 and I'll be comfortable.. So ladies, please don't feel that you have to get to a tiny little number, re-evaluate yourself when you lose weight, find a healthy, normal range for you, just my humble opinion.

My goal weight picked me. I didn't try to get down to 107lbs, but through a good healthy diet, and daily exercise that's where I ended up. And I don't look ill, or sick at all. I am not skinny, nor do I feel pressure from anyone to be thin.

At an 8 or a 10, I am still fat. I am tiny. I have tiny feet, tiny hands, and and am just a little person. So my current weight suits me just fine. Skinny is not actually a word I would use to describe myself. I look athletic, and healthy. Not skinny.

My weight does not define me at all. Nor does the tag on my dress. And I am sorry that you get the impression that it does, but you are very wrong about that.

I'm glad to hear that you feel perfectly healthy at your weight, I was just saying that I would hate for some of us to feel like somehow we were not successful with our bands if we don't get to such a tiny number. For me, 137 was a great weight, so that's is all I meant. Maybe I'm just jelouse.. I'm happy for you.. don't misinterpret my post.. I'm not the most eloquent at speaking or writing. I just want everyone to decide what is best for them, not for anyone else.

Was my post what started this debate?? Good Lord, I hope not. As I said, FOR ME, that would be too small or yes in my eyes too skinny.. and I hate to say this, but there is such a thing as being too thin.. Look at how Nicole Ritchie and the Olsen twin girl looked.. they looked disgusting. I'm not the only one that thinks that. I am happy that some/all of you are meeting your goals at 100%.. Forgive me if I fell short of meeting my goal of 135 and stopped at 137. I personally looked really good, some oldies on this board saw my pictures taken after my weightloss and surgeries and if I say so myself, I looked pretty damn good. For me, 137 is a good weight.. My 12 year old daughter weighs about 120 lbs (very athletic and toned, she's a dancer) and is a size 0 or 1 depending on the brand.. And for me that would not be a good weight.. I could however steal her very cute clothes, Hugh?? There's a thought. No seriously, I don't want to offend anyone, but each and everyone of us, needs to evaluate themselves and decide where they feel good and healthy. And to those idiots that are sending pm's offending others, stop it.. Be happy with yourself, love yourself and respect others.. Didn't your momma teach you all this??

I am posting again to explain that the writing in red was Chickies response to me.. I am not to familiar with this new posting stuff. Too high tech and complicated for me.. Well, that's all, gotta go back to work.. I've been goofing off alot today, can't concentrate, too much going on.

Mariposa Bella · October 26, 2007

Originally Posted by Mariposa Bella
I'm 5"2" but always say I'm 5"3", started at 195 lbs a busting out of size 16, got down to 137 size 8, sometimes, very few times a 6.. and now I'm at about 155 in a size 10. Okay now tell me, why have some of you chosen to have such small goal weights of 120 or below?? I thought I wanted to weigh 130 but when I was 137 my husband said that is enough, don't lose anymore, you are starting to look sickly, you look great like this please don't lose anymore, so I stopped. I was a nice size 8, and felt great at that weight, I am truly amazed when I read that some of you are a size 0 or 2, WOW, I don't think I'd ever want to be that skinny.. Not for me, I need to get back in my 8 and I'll be comfortable.. So ladies, please don't feel that you have to get to a tiny little number, re-evaluate yourself when you lose weight, find a healthy, normal range for you, just my humble opinion.

My goal weight picked me. I didn't try to get down to 107lbs, but through a good healthy diet, and daily exercise that's where I ended up. And I don't look ill, or sick at all. I am not skinny, nor do I feel pressure from anyone to be thin.

At an 8 or a 10, I am still fat. I am tiny. I have tiny feet, tiny hands, and and am just a little person. So my current weight suits me just fine. Skinny is not actually a word I would use to describe myself. I look athletic, and healthy. Not skinny.

My weight does not define me at all. Nor does the tag on my dress. And I am sorry that you get the impression that it does, but you are very wrong about that.

I'm glad to hear that you feel perfectly healthy at your weight, I was just saying that I would hate for some of us to feel like somehow we were not successful with our bands if we don't get to such a tiny number. For me, 137 was a great weight, so that's is all I meant. Maybe I'm just jelouse.. I'm happy for you.. don't misinterpret my post.. I'm not the most eloquent at speaking or writing. I just want everyone to decide what is best for them, not for anyone else.

Was my post what started this debate?? Good Lord, I hope not. As I said, FOR ME, that would be too small or yes in my eyes too skinny.. and I hate to say this, but there is such a thing as being too thin.. Look at how Nicole Ritchie and the Olsen twin girl looked.. they looked disgusting. I'm not the only one that thinks that. I am happy that some/all of you are meeting your goals at 100%.. Forgive me if I fell short of meeting my goal of 135 and stopped at 137. I personally looked really good, some oldies on this board saw my pictures taken after my weightloss and surgeries and if I say so myself, I looked pretty damn good. For me, 137 is a good weight.. My 12 year old daughter weighs about 120 lbs (very athletic and toned, she's a dancer) and is a size 0 or 1 depending on the brand.. And for me that would not be a good weight.. I could however steal her very cute clothes, Hugh?? There's a thought. No seriously, I don't want to offend anyone, but each and everyone of us, needs to evaluate themselves and decide where they feel good and healthy. And to those idiots that are sending pm's offending others, stop it.. Be happy with yourself, love yourself and respect others.. Didn't your momma teach you all this??

OOPS, I know, I know, your tired of me, but I missed highlighting some.. Can someone please teach me to edit my posts.. When I try to edit, all I get are happy face creatures in front of letters..

Chickie · October 26, 2007

I think you would have to ask the OP if this thread was inspired by you, because I don't know. I know that MY part in this thread has been inspired by all the mean spirited people who have taken great pains to tell me I am skinny, anorexic, ugly and nasty.

And I am not sure what the point in posting the content of that thread was.

My point there, as it is here is, as much as people don't like being called fat, I don't like being called skinny, and scrawny. And let me tell you, when you pick my weight, or dress size, and say that at your height (which is the same as mine) you would look scrawny and skinny, it tends to give the impression that you are talking about me.

I am sorry that if by saying whatever I am you think I am saying that you are falling short (I have no idea what I did to give the impression I think that by not being super skinny people are falling short, I never actually used that expression till just now...)

See, I have no freaking idea where you get the idea that I think I have to be super skinny. Just because my weight is not one you could imagine on yourself, doesn't mean that I am unhealthy. And that is what pissed me off. The fact that it is just assumed that if someone is under a particular weight, that they are at deaths door. It's not the case. I just came in from an 8km run, am eating a huge bowl of oats, and have a banana to eat after that. I eat, probably more than a lot of bandsters around here, and if I was as sickly as my weight is portrayed to be by some people, I would be hooked up to an IV, not out running, and about to eat more than some people do in a day!! I eat the way I do (vegetarian and organic) because I feel almost super human when I do. I exercise the way I do, because it adds to the way I feel. I am alive. I feel better than most people could ever imagine, and the way I look, is just a very nice side effect.

The way I eat and exercise is not driven by a need to be skinny, its driven by a need to be healthy.

And I hate having to explain myself.

Chickie · October 26, 2007

Golly, you could be talking about Doug and I, lol.
I'm the same, I either do something 200% or not at all. Why walk when you can run kind of thing. When I did my first half marathon a few weeks back, I never ever went into it thinking I could walk a bit if I got tired, that to me just wouldnt be the same. It was run the entire thing or dont do it.

So I was never going to set a high goal weight, its just not like me to do that.

So yes, I think its personality dependent to a large degree.

And Doug wants a piece of the action, wants to lose the weight but in the end he just doesnt care enough to actually make more than a half successful stab at it. Like your DH he's improved his health but he's not really fussed by getting down to his teenage weight or anything. And the less exercise he has to do to actually lose weight then the better, in his mind.

Spooky! My husband has actually said "the less I have to do to get down to my goal weight the better"

Chickie · October 27, 2007

And to add to my previous thought, the reason I look "skinny" to some people is because a huge percentage of our population is overweight, and overweight is starting to look normal. So when people, who are used to seeing overweight people, see someone who is of a normal weight/BMI, they look too thin.

So, the Olsen twins who are at the lower end of a healthy BMI, DO look too thin, compared to someone who is overweight or morbidly obese.