I don't understand (goal weight rant)

[phyllisc 0]

I chose a goal weight of 135. That is right in the middle of the charts for my height. I will probably never see that, but I would be happy with 145-150. I really don't care if anyone still thinks I am fat at 150, just as I don't care what people think of my weight now. It is just a goal to work towards. I care about how I feel and how I look to myself. Every lb I lose makes me feel and look better. That is the important thing to me.

[Michee 2]

I chose a weight that is near the top of the normal range for my height.

You are correct that I didnt chose a lower goal weight because of fear. I wouldn't call being at a normal weight a failure, but I am afraid that I would feel extremely disappointed if I did not reach my goal weight.

I am afraid that any perceived failure on my part may trigger undesirable behaviour such as binge eating and eating around the band.

Who knows, as my success and confidence grows, I may lower my goal weight

[blahblahblah 4]

My personal goal is at the top of my normal weight range (180lbs fora 6ft tall woman)...I will evaluate from there. If I am happy at 180, then so be it...if I desire more weight loss, then I will continue..

Everyone has their own reasons for their goal weight just as everyone has their own reasons for being banded in the first place. My reasons may not be the same as yours, but that doesn't make them any less valid. Just different.

Rain

[anonemouse 1]

My personal goal is at the top of my normal weight range (180lbs fora 6ft tall woman)...I will evaluate from there. If I am happy at 180, then so be it...if I desire more weight loss, then I will continue..

Everyone has their own reasons for their goal weight just as everyone has their own reasons for being banded in the first place. My reasons may not be the same as yours, but that doesn't make them any less valid. Just different.

Rain

I don't think anyone has said that they aren't valid. On the contrary, they are very valid. We would just prefer that people be honest about their reasons. Some people aren't, choosing instead to attack those people that have been able to reach low goal weights, essentially calling them "scrawny" and "ugly." If someone isn't sure that they would be able to maintain a normal weight, and so choose a goal weight that would make them overweight, they should be honest about that. This is a support group, after all. We won't attack anyone for being honest. It doesn't help or support anyone when they attack people who have managed, through very hard work, to reach a low goal weight and maintain.

Tact would be nice, too. Instead of saying "that weight looks scrawny and ugly," they could say, "I wouldn't feel comfortable at that weight." That way, they aren't insulting the people who do weigh that much.

[faithmd 14]

Fine, I dumped my ticker and my "goal" weight. According to the upper end of the MetLife range (that the insurance companies use) my goal should be 167, which gave me a BMI of 26.2, which is somehow considered overweight. So I guess that's not a good goal to have, since someone somewhere as sometime decided that's overweight. I don't buy into the BMI crap, it's a VERY imperfect system. But the weight tables aren't any better. I think I'll just look in the mirror, look at pix of myself and then go with how I feel to determine my goal. I don't have a fear, I just don't know what goal will look like to me. I don't know for sure what frame I have under these pounds so it's hard to say which end of the range I should fall into.

I cannot imagine saying someone here was ugly for a weight they were. Now Angelina Jolie, I think is too skinny. Posh is too skinny and looks kind of odd but I wouldn't call her ugly, more like unnatural.

Jachut, I think you look beautiful.

[Chickie 15]

What gets my goat is when in a conversation, people pick MY weight or size, and say "for me that would be sickly skinny, I would look anorexic" It sort of implies that that is what you think of me.

Being called skinny (depending on the tone) is as hurtful as being called fat.

[anonemouse 1]

Fine, I dumped my ticker and my "goal" weight. According to the upper end of the MetLife range (that the insurance companies use) my goal should be 167, which gave me a BMI of 26.2, which is somehow considered overweight. So I guess that's not a good goal to have, since someone somewhere as sometime decided that's overweight. I don't buy into the BMI crap, it's a VERY imperfect system. But the weight tables aren't any better. I think I'll just look in the mirror, look at pix of myself and then go with how I feel to determine my goal. I don't have a fear, I just don't know what goal will look like to me. I don't know for sure what frame I have under these pounds so it's hard to say which end of the range I should fall into.

I cannot imagine saying someone here was ugly for a weight they were. Now Angelina Jolie, I think is too skinny. Posh is too skinny and looks kind of odd but I wouldn't call her ugly, more like unnatural.

Jachut, I think you look beautiful.

I actually think that's the best way to pick a goal weight. Just go with what you feel. If you get to a certain weight and think you still need to lose weight, go for it. If you decide that you would be perfectly happy at the weight you are at, that's wonderful. My goal is actually one that I chose randomly, mainly because it's the weight I remember when I got weighed in 7th grade gym. (Btw, this smilie shows exactly how I felt about that situation: Stupid policy of weighing people in front of their classmates!) If I don't get to that goal, I'll be perfectly happy, since I'll still be lighter than I have been in years.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I think it is for a combination of reasons. I really didn't know what a good goal weight for me was so I picked a number within "healthy BMI". I think I might want to go down another 10lbs.

I think people that start out quite large can't even begin to imagine themselves 200 or 400 pounds lighter.

Then you have someone like Wendell. He was something like 560 for a starting weight. He's lost a TON of weight but due to being large for so long his bone structure changed. I'll let him give you measurements of his wrist as an example (I sent him a link but I know he's amazingly busy right now, not sure if he is checking emails or not). The widest parts of my ankles are the size of his wrists.

I think people are afraid of failure. Aren't we all? Haven't all of us ever once wondered if *WE*, *our* population could actually get to a normal and healthy weight, ever?

There are people that don't lose well and they justify it instead of working the band. So be it, it's their path.

I'm going to be the size I want and I don't give a rats back side what the rest of the world thinks about it. But I have to admit, I have wondered if I really could ever get to this size. I'm still shocked that I did.

There are so many head issues that go with losing weight.

Oh, one other issue... higher BMI for a target means goal is faster. I have seen a few folks that I wondered if that was their issue.

Faith, put your ticker back up. You choose the weight that is right for you, it's your body, your choice. Nobody says you have to reach THAT goal. You might be happier a few pounds heavier or you might want to go a few pounds lower. You really won't know until you get there.

[Jachut 487]

I really dont want to give the impression that I think people are "fat" in a derogatory sense or that their reasons arent valid - I blew off a bit of steam back there because this very topic made me angry the other day. And you most definitely do NOT have to be under a certain weight to be attractive. I truly do not think that at all.

I'm just splitting hairs because I like to do that, lol.

People who have been overweight probably do have heavier bones and more lean mass than people who have never been but dont kid yourselves that these things add up to 30lb or more, they dont. Have a look at this site Frame size, how much does it affect your weight? Your skeleton is only about 15% of your weight. Its a couple of pounds, and that's why the healthy weight is a "range" not a number, if you've previously been obese, you are probably going to hit the right amount of body fat for you higher up in that range. Because that's what we're really talking about, not a number, but body fat percentage.

And if for whatever valid reasons you have you choose to weigh heavier then you DO still have a slightly higher risk of health problems down the track than a lighter person, we know that overweight still confers risks, its just a lot less risky than morbidly obese.

But as far as how you look, I have no more right to say you're fat at x weight than you do to say I'm sickly skinny. You have to please yourself there.

And its not like I think I"m perfect, but that's what I'm talking about, owning your weaknesses as well as your strengths. I've lost all my weight, yes, but many people have lost 88lb in 6 months - why? Becuase they're way more strong willed and disciplined than I am. I took almost 2 years because I suck at diets, I am too lazy to count calories and I just like to eat and enjoy my food in a relaxed manner. So I took longer to do it because I'm really not that great at all that stuff. I didnt care enough about getting to a goal weight quickly to make that sort of effort. Why cant people just say "yes, I could weigh 120lb but I really cant be arsed exercising every day and counting calories to maintain it"? I'd have no argument at that at all.

But saying that you can weight 200lb but not be overweight when your ideal weight is 140 to 160 becuase you have heavy bones or you do strength training, that just awakens the argumentative part of me and I feel compelled to point out that that's just not true.

That's really what I'm arguing. Not that people cant be beautiful or healthy at a higher weight and not that they dont have the right to set their own weights.

[Chelle B 0]

Why do so many bandsters set their goal weights so high? I mean, many of the ones that I've seen aren't anywhere near a healthy weight. Yes, it might be healthier than their starting weight, but it still isn't a normal weight. Is it a fear of failure? Is it because the doctors set their patients' goal weights high in order to fudge their weight-loss statistics? Why not aim for a healthy weight? Why aim for a weight that is still considered to be "obese," in many cases?

I can understand someone deciding that the weight they are currently at is one that they feel good at, but I just don't understand making the logic of "well, I just wouldn't look right if I weighed less than X pounds."

Fear of failure, most likely, or just plain disappointment if they can't make it. In business we use S.M.A.R.T. goals; Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely. Maybe this is what folks are going for.

My doc asked me to set my own goal weight, and I said I will know it when I get there. I'm looking for normal BMI. All my life I was very athletic, and weighed more at a size 5 than most girls. I am guessing to get to a size 5 now, I would have to weigh 20 lbs less. So when I hit normal BMI, I will re-evalute and decide on a final goal weight.

Great question!

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I just recently put up a ticker. I never had one before, because I never could decide on a goal weight. I am already unhappy with the amount of wrinkles on my face that have appeared since I have lost weight.

My goal weight is high for two reasons. At my age, I don't think being 120 would be easy for me to maintain. If I kept aiming to be that low, I would be setting myself up for failure.

I recently picked a goal weight that I think is actually possible. If I look like an old hag with wrinkles all over my face, if I drop 10 more lbs, I may be happy with 155 instead of 145.

If I decide a face lift is in order, I will try to get down to a healthier bmi. My dr. says bmi isn't all that important, as long as you have low cholesterol, (which I do) don't have high blood pressure (I don't anymore) and you are exercising regularly.

If I were in my 30's my goal weight would be completely different.

[Daisalana 33]

For me.. I have never been any type of 'normal' weight. I have absolutely no friggin clue what my true 'goal' weight would be.

I calculated mine off of a website

It said for my height 170-190 is ideal.. I picked 180!

I have always been open to the fact that when I get near that goal, it might change. I have no idea what my body will look like at that weight. I was born 200lbs! Har.

My doctor never set a goal weight for me either. They do give me a print out every time I go that has (a lot of info including..)my fat % and what my healthy fat % should be.

It says I have 70lbs of fat, and I should have 16-32lbs of fat...and that my body is 50% fat. I don't know if that means I could just lose 38lb more pounds and be alright, but I know I have a lot more than 38lbs to lose! I don't really know how to read those things.

[Jachut 487]

You cant know how much lean tissue you will lose either, that's why you cant just say 38lb. If you lost 38lb of JUST fat you'd probably be perfect, but it doesnt happen that way. Regardless of how much Protein you eat. You always lose a percentage of lean body mass as well.

So you have to kind of keep going to see where it takes you.

I set my goal weight at the highest end of my range too. I mean I'm not that stupid, you get to ballpark and you see where you go from there. I was still obviously fat.

And I could say yeah, I'm a healthy weight so I can be all smug about it and not lose anymore. Except that my body fat is still 30% of my weight. Too high. So I try to keep losing. Very slowly.

And its entirely likely that suddenly, one day I will look too old and decide I need to put a bit back on. I'm getting those veiny hands, ick. You do have to choose between your face and your bum at a certain point of your life.

[Daisalana 33]

I was initially afraid of losing my boobs. Vain, perhaps.. but I always liked em. It seems since their recent seperation from their sister tummy, they are getting bigger (and it's not my imagination, my CUP is bigger). And for the first time in my life, I am seeing a girly figure. I've always been top heavy and apple shaped. Everyone in my family calls me 'no ass'--and it's a big joke. But I guess from loss around my back and thighs, my butt actually is showing up! I'm thrilled about this. I can't wait to look in the mirror and not see an apple.. I'm already partially there, but if I study hard enough I still see an apple.

[stacy73 2]

Per the height/weight guidelines my max healthy weight should be 147- I set my goal for 150 because I have been 150 before and this is a weight I could live with and be happy with-however, once I have met that goal- I will decide if I want to go lower- I would not go below 140-for me 140 is like a size 5-at least it was the last time I weighed 140 lol-that is only a 10lb difference-not much in hindsight- I know what you mean though- some people set their sights too low- for crying out loud-you go through lap band surgery for a reason!! a woman setting a goal of 190-no matter what the height doesn't make sense to me-unless this is just a first goal- I say make a healthy goal-if it doesn't work-then modify it.