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Super Nervous and Unsure??



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My husband passed away earlier this year. We have a very young daughter together. His passing was the catalyst for me and this surgery because I want to be healthy and around for my daughter. I have struggled with my weight for a while now, plus health issues, and family history.

My surgery is scheduled for 12/4 and I’m getting really nervous! What if I do this to be healthier for my daughter and myself but instead I die during surgery and leave her with NO parents??

Also, lesser concerns, but I’m suppose to start my two week pre-surgery diet next week and I already feel embarrassed and like I’m going to fail because it’s my daughter’s birthday AND Thanksgiving. I’m also worried about judgement or being embarrassed in front of my family. They know and have been super supportive, so I think it’s mainly in my head and nothing that they’ve said or done, but the thoughts are still there. And so much more but I’ll just ramble.

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My husband passed away earlier this year. We have a very young daughter together. His passing was the catalyst for me and this surgery because I want to be healthy and around for my daughter. I have struggled with my weight for a while now, plus health issues, and family history.
My surgery is scheduled for 12/4 and I’m getting really nervous! What if I do this to be healthier for my daughter and myself but instead I die during surgery and leave her with NO parents??
Also, lesser concerns, but I’m suppose to start my two week pre-surgery diet next week and I already feel embarrassed and like I’m going to fail because it’s my daughter’s birthday AND Thanksgiving. I’m also worried about judgement or being embarrassed in front of my family. They know and have been super supportive, so I think it’s mainly in my head and nothing that they’ve said or done, but the thoughts are still there. And so much more but I’ll just ramble.


I think you have made a great decision for you and your daughter. Your husband would be so proud of you. [emoji4]Your daughter needs you and this will improve your health dramatically.
I just had mine on 10/28/17 and I was scared too. I was soooo happy after it was over. Now I am THRILLED I DID IT. You can do this and you will have everyone here for support afterwards.
You got this!!!


5' 5"
HW: 259
CW: 235
GOAL: Healthy and hard 140-ish?

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You are making the right decision. Yes there is always a chance for complications but life is complicated or can be. You stay strong and brave and show your child never give up. Your family and friends should be supportive and most likely will be. You are making a life long decision. I was very scared and pissy before surgery. I almost did not go through with it because my surgeon had an emergency and i was in pre op Forever! I got so mad i just about ripped my IV out. So fast forward 11 months later and 130 lbs skinnier...one of the best decisions I have made. You can do this!

Sent from my SM-G920P using BariatricPal mobile app

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I felt the same way. I’m a single disable mom of one daughter. My ex is in prison and for along time so he’s not in the picture if something was to happen to me and I was really worried about it because I almost died 2 years ago from sepsis 3 times... but having my sleeve so far has been one of the best decisions of my life. I’m 11 days post op now.

On 11/16/2017 at 11:55 PM, aberry said:

My husband passed away earlier this year. We have a very young daughter together. His passing was the catalyst for me and this surgery because I want to be healthy and around for my daughter. I have struggled with my weight for a while now, plus health issues, and family history.

My surgery is scheduled for 12/4 and I’m getting really nervous! What if I do this to be healthier for my daughter and myself but instead I die during surgery and leave her with NO parents??

Also, lesser concerns, but I’m suppose to start my two week pre-surgery diet next week and I already feel embarrassed and like I’m going to fail because it’s my daughter’s birthday AND Thanksgiving. I’m also worried about judgement or being embarrassed in front of my family. They know and have been super supportive, so I think it’s mainly in my head and nothing that they’ve said or done, but the thoughts are still there. And so much more but I’ll just ramble.

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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