Feeling anxious

[CarpeDiem129 38]

I posted this under the main surgery forum and realized that was probably not the appropriate place to post it (I can't figure out how to delete it)...

So this is my first main post although I've been "creeping" these forums for quite a while now. I'm scheduled for surgery on Wednesday, Nov. 8th. I know my surgeon uses a 36f bougie and I am also having a small hiatal hernia repaired. I have some reflux issues now, but other than that and my weight along with suffering from hypothyroidism, my health is fine.

I have researched this for many months, went through the whole process, and now that it's happening, I'm so worried. I keep thinking about my husband and my babies and if anything goes wrong now or later regarding the surgery.

Anywho, I don't know what I'm really looking for by posting this. Maybe some words of wisdom or a swift kick in the booty to get over myself. Really, I would love to hear about experiences who have gone through the exact same thing, surgery with the same bougie size as it seems like there may be some merit to bougie size and recovery and hiatal hernia repair. How are you doing? How was your recovery? Any advice at all?

Just feeling a little overwhelmed.😩

[EatPrayLove 16]

First, congrats on finally getting a date!! I know it feels like forever, and I'm still in that forever stage waiting to be approved and get a date going. I have babies and a hubby at home and all I think about is well what if I didn't do this? Then how long would I be here? Who knows, all I know is that I am taking the leap to make sure I am here in the future, because these surgeons do this everyday, and everything is going to go so well. Please don't worry about anything, just know you are doing the right thing 100%!!

[ShelbyMoore 84]

I’m 10 days out from being sleeved. So here’s my experience. First off I have no idea what my bougie is. I’m meeting w/my surgeon tomorrow so I might ask. I also had a hiatal hernia repair (which I didn’t know it needed repairing). The surgeon found it when inside and fixed it. He said it’s a 1 minute procedure.

I was excited the day of surgery. They gave me a relaxer to keep me calm as it’s a few hours of preparing for the actual surgery. I’m glad I had it. It made me feel real comfortable but not drugged up.

I don’t even remember being in recovery and faintly remember them wheeling me to my hospital room. First day in the hospital I just wanted to sleep. I felt minimal pain. My only gas pain was in my left shoulder area. I was on IVs which kept me hydrated and how they gave me all my pain meds. I had a button to push if I felt I need more pain medicine. I recall I just kept pushing it when ever I was awake. Again I felt no pain. They brought me a cup of ice chips and some Water. I enjoyed the ice chips and took them slowly. After a few hours I was brought broth, Jello, diet cranberry juice and a water bottle. I took a few sips of the broth with tasted good and a few sips of the juice. I really just wanted to sleep. I did walk once. The nurses didn’t push it.

Surgery day very minimal pain, mainly sleeping. I spent the night. Day 2 I felt great. The surgeon asked if I wanted to go home. I did. By the time I checked out it was late afternoon.

First night home I began feeling nauseated. I sipped water the best I could. I slept in my recliner which was more comfortable on my stomach. I was feeling more pain at home because it was difficult to keep my pain meds down. If you have a choice try and stay an extra day in the hospital. They can give you everything via the IV which is great.

My second day home I felt like I had the flu. Mainly because of the nausea. I had anti-nausea meds which began to work. It was a small pill that dissolved under my tongue.

After that I did great and am still doing great! So I only had 2 days where I felt nauseaous and minimal pain in my abdominal area. I do feel some slight burning pain under my breast bone which I think is the Hiatal hernia repair.

It was all very manageable and I’m so happy I’m now sleeved. I’m 10 days out and have no regrets.

You will do fine! Think positive thoughts and look down the road at how much better you will feel. Anxiety the days before surgery is normal. I wish you the best. Continue to reach out to this forum, as you just did, for support.

Edited November 3, 2017 by ShelbyMoore

[CarpeDiem129 38]

Thank you both so much for your replies @EatPrayLove and @ShelbyMoore!

I know I need to do this. For some reason, with everything I do, I'm always afraid of worst case scenarios. I'm very much a hypochondriac, have been since I can remember. I hate it, sometimes it can be crippling. So, one can imagine how a few days out from an elective surgery is giving me terrible anxiety.

@EatPrayLove, you're absolutely right. I'm doing this for my family so that I can live more fully for them. I want my self- confidence back. It really affects so much. I wish you all the best with your upcoming surgery and I hope you get a date soon!

@ShelbyMoore, I can't think you enough for your detailed account of everything. I read a lot of posts on this forum about terrible recoveries with hiatal hernia repairs, so you've helped put my mind at ease some with that. I REALLY appreciate it. I like knowing what to anticipate, even though everyone is a little different. I'm glad to see you could swallow and keep things down pretty quickly, this is something I've worried about. I hope my situation is similar to yours. I wish you all the best on your journey!

[confusedturtle3 246]

This is how I sort through all of the worries and what if’s going through my mind. The risk of death from/during the surgery are slim, about the same as getting a c-section (at least that’s what my surgeon says) and I’ve survived one of those so I’m not worried about that.
My mother died pretty young from a massive heart attack, her whole family had issues with weight and weight related health problems. They died young and missed out on so much with their kids & grandkids. I may not have the problems yet but they are in my very near future. I haven’t been able to do this on my own, so now I’m getting help to renew my health. If I don’t fix this now I might not see my youngest graduate from high school, I won’t meet most of my grandkids and I will have so many health issues that I will suffer in the end (watched family go through this) so I’m putting my foot down Now and taking back the control over my life. I won’t let food decide when and how I will die, I plan to go out fighting. There is too much I haven’t done in my life for me to just give in to being fat but temporarily healthy anymore. That is just me though, I have a weird way of looking at things I guess lol.


Have a great day!
Amanda [emoji16]
HW 248 CW 241 Surgery Date: pending 11/21/2017. Goal weight 150’ish [emoji23]

[kaydo 63]

Thank you for sharing your post-op experience, @ShelbyMoore! My doctor says that, for me, VSG will be "a walk in the park" compared to my c-section (which was an emergency c-section after 27 hours of labor) but my c-section recovery was rough (the first time a nurse made me get up and walk, I thought I'd die). However, I also keep reminding myself that 1) this surgery is laproscopic, and 2) I won't be carrying & breastfeeding a 10 lb baby afterwards, so that's good too! Still, it's very helpful to hear what others experienced, so thanks!

[CarpeDiem129 38]

Thanks for your response @confusedturtle3! That's a good perspective to have. I guess I'm just a big barrel of nerves! The only surgery I've had was a tonsillectomy about 10 years ago when I was 18. Even so, I'm actually worried less about the surgery itself and more about the aftermath of it as in the recovery and long-term info that hasn't been published yet because it's a newer procedure for weight loss. But it seems like anything in life that's worth something, is somewhat risky. I know I just need to take the leap! I don't know why I'm trying to psych myself out this close to surgery date. I wish someone could just guarantee everything is going to be okay, but I know that's not the case the anything in life. I try to remind myself of all the times I've been worried about something medically and it ended up working out just fine. This seems to help some! (My tonsillectomy, both of my pregnancies and childbirths, even my EGD). As you can see, I'm just an incredibly anxious person, about everything. It drives my family crazy, they often make fun of for it. Like, "oh goodness you have headache, must be a brain tumor" type of thing. 😛 I have to catch myself because sometimes it really is that extreme!

Anyway, I thank you for your insight!

Edited November 3, 2017 by Lauren_jos19

[Apple203 1,314]

@Lauren_jos19 You should consider asking your surgeon or PCP for a small prescription of an anti-anxiety med like Ativan or Xanax -- the night before big procedures is the worst for people with anxiety issues (I know firsthand!), and this is usually OK'd by surgeon.

Edited November 3, 2017 by Apple203

[LylaLovesCoffee 182]

On 11/2/2017 at 9:43 PM, Lauren_jos19 said:

I posted this under the main surgery forum and realized that was probably not the appropriate place to post it (I can't figure out how to delete it)...

So this is my first main post although I've been "creeping" these forums for quite a while now. I'm scheduled for surgery on Wednesday, Nov. 8th. I know my surgeon uses a 36f bougie and I am also having a small hiatal hernia repaired. I have some reflux issues now, but other than that and my weight along with suffering from hypothyroidism, my health is fine.

I have researched this for many months, went through the whole process, and now that it's happening, I'm so worried. I keep thinking about my husband and my babies and if anything goes wrong now or later regarding the surgery.

Anywho, I don't know what I'm really looking for by posting this. Maybe some words of wisdom or a swift kick in the booty to get over myself. Really, I would love to hear about experiences who have gone through the exact same thing, surgery with the same bougie size as it seems like there may be some merit to bougie size and recovery and hiatal hernia repair. How are you doing? How was your recovery? Any advice at all?

Just feeling a little overwhelmed.😩

We are more alike than just our surgery dates. I too have a hernia and I'm hypothyroid. I don't really get heartburn that often, I think because I prefer a bland diet that doesn't kick up a storm for heartburn. I'm weird that way.

I have moments where I'm overwhelmed but I tell myself to breathe and sit with the moment until it passes. It usually doesn't take long, unless I start to have a panic attack and then my husband rubs my back while reading something from reddit to me. It calms me down. We're almost there.. We can do this!!!

[Apple203 1,314]

When I feel like I'm approaching a panic attack, I count backwards by increasing #s -- 100 (-1) 99 (-2) 97 (-3), et cetera -- works for me.

[LylaLovesCoffee 182]

This surgery will be #8 for me. I've been around the OR a few times. Some I asked for some I didn't get a choice in (thanks youngest son). I tell people I'm a practically a pro at this. I say that because I don't want them to know that I get anxious before any big thing or change in my life. I know it's going to be okay, but it doesn't stop the feelings of "Oh boy here we go" like the beginning of a roller coaster. I keep telling myself in a few days I'll be over the hump and off to new journey. That's what will get me through this.

[CarpeDiem129 38]

@LylaLovesCoffee It seems we certainly do have several things in common! I have GERD symptoms from my hernia. I get reflux and my throat feels tight a lot of the time. I'm hoping this will go away when it's fixed. I didn't get any of these symptoms until my last pregnancy so maybe I developed the hernia then. You're exactly right about surgery being like a rollercoaster, that's a perfect analogy... "here we go." Also, a rollercoaster is risky, but you usually come out on the other side feeling wonderful. I hope that's how this is going to be.

@Apple203that's good advice. I don't really get panic attacks that often, more of a persistent state of anxiety. It can be very debilitating and frustrating because I'm very aware of it, I just can't always control it.

I'm always just a worst case scenario kind of thinker. I hate it, but it's true.

Edited November 4, 2017 by Lauren_jos19