I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?

Yes, my husband & children know, but other than that I am not telling anyone else in my family. As others have said, I just don't want it to be the constant topic of conversation (good or bad).

I have told 4 people, only one is family. I am not telling my kids. They are grown and out of the house and Im single. Im getting nervous. My 10 day pre op diet starts tomorrow.

I posted earlier that I was only telling husband and sons, but since told my mother. Big mistake. Don't follow in my footsteps!!!!

I haven't told anyone on my mother's side of the family (including my mother) with the exception of my sister in law, because she had a bypass 5 yrs ago. My surgery is on Nov 8th and mother has no idea. I don't plan on telling her anything until after I get home from the hospital. Some might say this is cruel, but my mother is the type to make it all about her medically. She has been in and out of the hospital for different things most of my life, and I don't need her "I'm worse off than you" attitude. I just want to get this done in peace and positivity. My husband and his family knows. My mother in law is going to be there because she is a positive influence and will be helpful to my husband. I'm just glad to see I'm not the only one who has been keeping mum about it.. at least partially anyway.

I’m not telling anybody either because I pay out-of-pocket and my husband would raise hell if he knew I’ve been saving this money. The thing is, back in 2008 I had a lap band surgery and that was a waste of $15,000. But I have got to lose this weight because of my type one diabetes. I just don’t feel like listening to my husband gripe. The thing is, how do you hide it? What about all the pre-and post op evening and pills? I want already made the story up about how I’m going out of town for business I’m November 30. I hope it works. A friend of mine had it done and besides my son, she is the only other one that knows I’m having surgery.

I'm not telling my family that I am having surgery, is anyone else here doing the same ?

I’m not telling anyone either so you are not alone. The only ppl who do know are my sister and my best friends. I don’t even want to tell my boyfriend. I’ve been stressing as time gets closer to surgery date (Dec 4th) on how I will explain the scaring. I still don’t know but I’m not worried about it anymore. I’m doin this for myself.

I’m not telling anyone either so you are not alone. The only ppl who do know are my sister and my best friends. I don’t even want to tell my boyfriend. I’ve been stressing as time gets closer to surgery date (Dec 4th) on how I will explain the scaring. I still don’t know but I’m not worried about it anymore. I’m doin this for myself.

My scaring isn't bad besides we don't walk around shirtless lol don't worry

You all inspire me to keep the secret. I told a few people that I was considering it and they were very unsupportive. I had decided to keep it a secret, I’ve told hubby & my kids and my dad and that’s it. I will just say diet & exercise changes are doing it. I will be visiting family for Christmas and they are all about the food, I will be about 4 weeks post op so unable to eat anything they’ll make and staying with them. What should I do?


Have a great day!
Amanda [emoji16]
HW 248 CW 241 Surgery Date: pending 11/21/2017. Goal weight 150’ish [emoji23]

You all inspire me to keep the secret. I told a few people that I was considering it and they were very unsupportive. I had decided to keep it a secret, I’ve told hubby & my kids and my dad and that’s it. I will just say diet & exercise changes are doing it. I will be visiting family for Christmas and they are all about the food, I will be about 4 weeks post op so unable to eat anything they’ll make and staying with them. What should I do?


Have a great day!
Amanda [emoji16]
HW 248 CW 241 Surgery Date: pending 11/21/2017. Goal weight 150’ish [emoji23]

I had my lap band surgery on December 4, 2009. I had a couple of Christmas and New year's dinners to attend as well as my company holiday party. Guess what. When everyone is busy visiting and talking nobody pays attention to what you're eating. I just moved food around on my plate, compacted it to look like less than what I started with and put my napkin on top when I was done. I took a nibble here and there of like a mashed potatoes or something soft and mostly just visited and talked with everyone.

Now that I think back, I do remember putting a gallon size ziplock baggie in my purse in case I needed to hide food when nobody was looking. I had the same concerns as you.

Sent from my XT1635-01 using BariatricPal mobile app

23 minutes ago, confusedturtle3 said:

I will be about 4 weeks post op so unable to eat anything they’ll make and staying with them. What should I do?

Take lots of those pouches of yoghurt and lots of bottles of drinking water. Also, start checking out mix-up cup soups with no lumps (or nearly no lumps). Flavoured tea-bags that you like.

Have your cover story ready ... you've had surgery involving trying to stop irritable bowel and intestinal problems that have been upsetting you for some time.

Make sure that you talk to your husband and kids and tell them that you will do all the discussing of your different xmas food and drink consumption, NOT THEM. Be firm. If there's a leak of info, it'll likely be one of them.

- - - - -

Or, on the other hand, just prepare yourself to call them together and make the announcement ... "come out". Tell them that it's your decision for your future health and longevity and that you are doing your best to change your body and your health risks. Politely tell them that you don't expect that they'll all agree with your solution ... that it's now a fact of life and that you are moving forward. Suggest clearly, that if they have negative thoughts or a desire to give you advice, you are not welcoming it as you're trusting the choice you have made.

Edited October 31, 20178 yr by Rainbow_Warrior

10 minutes ago, TheNewMrsR said:

I do remember putting a gallon size ziplock baggie in my purse in case I needed to hide food when nobody was looking

Nice evasive solution.

As a male, I guess I could have a few of the smaller, stronger zip-loc bags in my pocket.

My wife, a gastric balloon patient keeps a couple of flatpack chinese-takeaway containers and a plastic cover-bag down the side of her larger shoulder bag when she goes out with friends to restaurants.

"Oooh, I overestimated what I could eat tonight. That big lunch was too much," is one of her comments as she packs her uneaten food away. "I'll finish this tomorrow!" she adds.

Nice evasive solution.
As a male, I guess I could have a few of the smaller, stronger zip-loc bags in my pocket.
My wife, a gastric balloon patient keeps a couple of flatpack chinese-takeaway containers and a plastic cover-bag down the side of her larger shoulder bag when she goes out with friends to restaurants.
"Oooh, I overestimated what I could eat tonight. That big lunch was too much," is one of her comments as she packs her uneaten food away. "I'll finish this tomorrow!" she adds.

[emoji106] I used the ole "my eyes were bigger than my stomach" line a lot the first year. Now that I'm getting a revision to sleeve I guess I'll be back in the same boat again.

Sent from my XT1635-01 using BariatricPal mobile app

Thank you@TheNewMrsR@Rainbow_Warrior I appreciate the help. I may have to use the giant ziplock bag and moving the food around the plate things. They are Filipino so they will notice every bite that I don’t eat. I would prefer not to tell them but I will if I absolutely have to.


Have a great day!
Amanda [emoji16]
HW 248 CW 241 Surgery Date: pending 11/21/2017. Goal weight 150’ish [emoji23]

I had this same fear and wondered what to do since my Roux en Y was on Oct. 19th this year. I just had a 50th surprise party here at the house for a friend and no one even noticed I was walking around and not eating. I had my favorite wine glass filled with water and some fruit - a strawberry, blueberries, orange slice - to look pretty and people were more interested in why I had the pretty glass than what was in it. One person asked why I wasn't drinking wine and I told them it was my house and I wanted to be on my best behavior :). As it turns out, I had a hiatal hernia that needed repaired. Doc found it when he did my WLS. That's been helpful to use - google it, maybe it will work for you as an excuse, at least in the beginning. AND before I had surgery i did do some food intolerance testing to see if there were things I continue to eat that are not helping me. I found out some new stuff - allergy to wheat which I've known and intolerance to all dairy, green beans, asparagus, ginger, cinnamon, to name a few. I've told people truths - just not the whole truths - about why I'm looking thinner these days.

I had this same fear and wondered what to do since my Roux en Y was on Oct. 19th this year. I just had a 50th surprise party here at the house for a friend and no one even noticed I was walking around and not eating. I had my favorite wine glass filled with water and some fruit - a strawberry, blueberries, orange slice - to look pretty and people were more interested in why I had the pretty glass than what was in it. One person asked why I wasn't drinking wine and I told them it was my house and I wanted to be on my best behavior . As it turns out, I had a hiatal hernia that needed repaired. Doc found it when he did my WLS. That's been helpful to use - google it, maybe it will work for you as an excuse, at least in the beginning. AND before I had surgery i did do some food intolerance testing to see if there were things I continue to eat that are not helping me. I found out some new stuff - allergy to wheat which I've known and intolerance to all dairy, green beans, asparagus, ginger, cinnamon, to name a few. I've told people truths - just not the whole truths - about why I'm looking thinner these days.

When asked about my weight loss I plan to just say I changed my diet and I’m exercising. Those will be true I just won’t add the part about the surgery. I usually just sit and talk to everyone, I will have to get up and walk around while “eating”. Hubby said he would happily help me. He said to get a plate full of food and just push it around the plate, when he finishes his he will discreetly trade plates with me [emoji16]


Have a great day!
Amanda [emoji16]
HW 248 CW 241 Surgery Date: pending 11/21/2017. Goal weight 150’ish [emoji23]