I've always been the "big girl" in the group but now that i have told my friends im getting surgery everybody is like oh you don't need it you're not even big.... i hate the fact that people always wanna tell me what i need and don't need. i swear i see myself cutting a lot of people off on my journey

I am 5 weeks post op and doing well... 32 lbs down. I was what I guess is considered a lightweight, 232 being my highest. With that being said, I suffered from sleep apnea, used cpap, have osteoarthritis in both knees , GERD with Barrets Esophagus and my A1C was creeping up each time it was checked. I am 45 years old and a nurse, a nurse who has a weight requirement for her job and I couldn't make the weight anymore..... I have crash dieted, done everything from programs to HCG to cutting weight like an MMA fighter... 6 yrs ago I lost 60# and have gained back 70...I have always struggled.
Nearly everyone who I shared my intention to have a gastric bypass had either some horror story ( I get it.. the only RNY pts I took care of had something that had gone terribly wrong) or people would tell me that I didn't need it, I didn't look "that big" you carry your weight so well! I was open with folks bc I am off work for over a month and will look a little more slender when I return....
Since my surgery, I have heard no negative comments, and preop someone even shared with me that they were jealous... they wanted a more sure bet in the weight loss arena...
My point is, I feel better, physically and emotionally and I no longer snore ( husband is very grateful for that.) This has not been the easiest, I have felt nauseous sometimes, sad sometimes and even a little remorse....but, I think back to how I felt everyday when I woke up and looked in the mirror, how my knees hurt, how I worried about my long term health, not to mention my job! I hated me. Now, I don't. I am hopeful, I am happier, I am more confident.
Let the naysayers talk, smile and nod, make your decision because you know it is right for you and when it is all said an done, you'll find peace.
-sorry if I ramble a bit!

I guess I've been lucky. Initially I told only those that needed to know.. family and work. As I began my 5 week pre op diet I created a Facebook group and invited my closest friends who I knew would provide unending support and encouragement. I had my surgery on Tuesday and have now told my Facebook friends. My whole experience has been one of love, support and encouragement so I am counting my blessings [emoji173]️ I wish you all a wonderful journey

Sassy683, it's your body, your struggle , your choice. Ignore them and do you.

I decided to tell only my wife and children. I learned long ago that "friends" and coworkers have a natural tendency to adversely judge your actions irregardless if they are good or bad and there is no profit in their opinions, so why even bother. I don't need anyone else's validation for the informed choices I make.

Edited August 12, 20179 yr by apu

My husband doesn't want anyone to discuss his toenails, his heart stent, his diabetes and sleeve. Damn, life is so much easier not sharing your health information!

I've only told my family and a couple of friends, one of whom is a recovering anorexic and has a feeding tube so she would never judge me weight journey.

I think it's no ones business unless I want them to know. I'm a little insecure that people will think I took the easy way out even though I bust my ass in the gym and will have to continue a good diet.

I'm am however pissed my mom is telling every one she knows because she 100% disapproves of the surgery.

I virtually told only a hand full of people. Not even my closest friends. I still only told a few friends a few days after the surgery. I didn't want the negativity because this was a long and thought-out process that I wanted to do regardless of what people thought. Don't let them get to you!

Many people said the same thing to me, I gently explain that I am 100lbs overweight and an hourglass shape, so when I get fat, I get evenly fat all over. Everyone has been really supportive.

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Can't really offer advice because I am not telling anyone. Only my mother, my husband, and 1 of my cousins who had the sleeve himself and was in the same situation as I am now. Hang in there and don't let the naysayers influence you [emoji1417]

Only my husband knows. As time goes forward, I'm still very glad I told no one else.

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5 hours ago, KateBruin said:

I've only told my family and a couple of friends, one of whom is a recovering anorexic and has a feeding tube so she would never judge me weight journey.

I think it's no ones business unless I want them to know. I'm a little insecure that people will think I took the easy way out even though I bust my ass in the gym and will have to continue a good diet.

I'm am however pissed my mom is telling every one she knows because she 100% disapproves of the surgery.

I'm debating about telling my mom.she has that diarrhea of mouth.ive only told my son an boyfriend.

Here's another perspective.

I've always been pretty open about my surgery. I've told relatives, friends, neighbors, co-workers. Yes, even strangers.

I started out at 222lbs, and often heard comments like "you don't need it" and "you're taking the easy way out". The comments have now stopped and people just root me on with my weight loss.

I did hear negative comments from some of my friends, and they stung. But rather than chalking it up to them being bad friends, I realize that this is scary for them too. They dont know as much as I know about WLS, and they think it's much more dangerous than it is. I've always been the "fun" one in the group, the first to plan outings, meals and push drinks on everyone. They worried that after surgery our relationship would change and they'd lose me. It's selfish, but it's human.

The way I navigated this is by opening up to them. Telling them how much my weight affected me all these years. All of the things I was looking forward to doing when I lost it. How committed I was to it and how much I needed them to be a part of this journey with me. When they told me I was taking the easy way out, I told them it's not easy! I'm still going to have to do everything a normal person trying to lose weight does, plus the surgery and liquid diet phases. It's REALLY hard. And I wouldn't be doing it if I felt like there was another way.

Today I'm 3wks post op, and happy with my decision to have told everyone. I have so many cheerleaders!

Of course, I know some people can have a deeply negative effect on you and if that's the case, avoid them. But I'm just saying before cutting people you love out of your life, or leaving them out of this major journey in your life, try opening up to them about why you're doing this and tell them what you need them to do. Most will realize they were being jerks and be there for you. If they don't, well #byeFelicia.

Good luck!

"Oh my goodness, you never looked like you weighed 400 pounds!"

That was the most common thing said, in my case. When I started the process of the surgery, I was more than happy to share my plans, including my ultimate goals. I had so much support, heck, support I didn't even expect. I track my journey on my FB and Instagram, you'd be amazed at how many people will continuously walk the walk with you and encourage the progress you're making. Apart of who I am is my journey, I'll never keep that hidden. Live to be an example!

"Oh my goodness, you never looked like you weighed 400 pounds!"

That was the most common thing said, in my case. When I started the process of the surgery, I was more than happy to share my plans, including my ultimate goals. I had so much support, heck, support I didn't even expect. I track my journey on my FB and Instagram, you'd be amazed at how many people will continuously walk the walk with you and encourage the progress you're making. A part of who I am is my journey, I'll never keep that hidden. Live to be an example!

Edited August 14, 20178 yr by heycrystal2052

"Oh my goodness, you never looked like you weighed 400 pounds!"

That was the most common thing said, in my case. When I started the process of the surgery, I was more than happy to share my plans, including my ultimate goals. I had so much support, heck, support I didn't even expect. I track my journey on my FB and Instagram, you'd be amazed at how many people will continuously walk the walk with you and encourage the progress you're making. A part of who I am is my journey, I'll never keep that hidden. Live to be an example!

Edited August 14, 20178 yr by heycrystal2052

I now tell anyone who asks me what am I doing or how am I doing it. If they don't ask I assume they don't care. For the ones that do ask ... The reactions are mixed but I have now talked to dozens of people who have literally ruled out surgery with no research or education because of the stigma of surgery.

I didn't really care about what people thought about me being fat and I don't really care about what they think of me getting healthy.

I am hoping that my sharing will make a difference and contribute to other people dealing with obesity having the space to educate and chose for themselves.