who knows? lol. I'm so new to the dating world and add to it the fact that i'm sleeved 6 months post op just don't know what i'm doing. lol. oh well, i'll just wait until HE finds me and in the meantime i'll enjoy learning this new tummy.

XD omg I feel this on a spiritual level. Who knows the dating game seems so complicated. Just don't let em play games with you!!! >_>;;;; I'm just ready to get cats...

SW: 328
CW: 256
GW: 150
Surgery date: January 12, 2017

Nothing wrong with looking either hon. Call me old fashioned, even though I'm only 38, but I think the best way to "date" is to get in groups and become friends, to eventually best friends. Now I didn't go that route, lol, but if I did it all over again, that's the route I'd take.

.....and there is more than one fish in the sea too.

Edited June 2, 20179 yr by Newme17

Yeah I'm single and I'm going to try dating because I feel like meeting people is better then jumping back in a relationship especially when going through this new transition

Not ready to be in a relationship, but I'm curious about the possibilities out there. I'm almost where I'd have to describe myself as "average" instead of "curvy" or "a few extra pounds" etc. I can't blame my weight anymore and say that's why I can't find a decent guy, now it's more clear that my confidence was always the issue at the root of my dating problems. Going to have to take it slowly...

Learn from my mistakes, wait until 1 year post-op to date.

Live life, be happy, if Mr. Right is there, he's there. If not, oh well.. at least you'd be enjoying life. If he comes along when you're 6 months out, he does. If your intent is a long term relationship, playing the games people do in the dating scene won't work anyways.

Edited June 2, 20179 yr by PatientEleventyBillion

DATING IS SCARY TO ME MY IDEA OF DATING CAN BE DIFFERENT FROM THE NEXT AT THIS POINT IM MORE FOCUSED ON LEARNING WHO I AM MINUS THE WEIGHT KINDA DONT HAVE TIME FIGURING SOMEONE OUT BUT IF SOMEONE COMES ALONG IM DEF OPEN TO A FRIENDSHIP LEADING TO MORE OVER TIME

14 hours ago, vsgClarese said:

who knows? lol. I'm so new to the dating world and add to it the fact that i'm sleeved 6 months post op just don't know what i'm doing. lol. oh well, i'll just wait until HE finds me and in the meantime i'll enjoy learning this new tummy.

Girl.... I was married for 26 years. When i got banded 11/09 i was 230#.. zero self confidence or self esteem. My ex brought me down at every turn. He never wanted me to lose the weight to begin with. Now i see that it was just his way of keeping me down and him in control. But, 100#s later and 8 years..... i am soooooo happy. As the weight went down.. the confidence went up and up and up and up.... he hated it... So, last year i filed for divorce. He moved out about a year ago and i started dating..... and dating.... and dating..... my friend Tracy insisted , i joined Match. I was thinking...OMG, what kind of crazy men will i hear from. BUT, i didn't post a picture. Some say if you don't have a pic they wont talk to you... i say... get to stepping. If you don't like what you read on a profile and your that superficial that you need a pic ...then F U.... The first week i had dozens of men contacting me. I weeded through them and replied to a few. One of which was Tim.... I will say he was not what i "normally" go far.... but he met all of what i was looking for in a partner... and i messaged him.... I am so glad i did.

So dating i did.... there were quite a few.... and i almost needed a spread sheet to keep track of who, when and where. I was dating so much that i was wearing myself out. The men all knew that i was dating multiple men and were cool with it. Tim got real smart real fast.... he started scheduling our next date during the current date. He got tired of me saying... NO i already have a date that day/night/weekend..... hehe Got to the point were he was occupying most every weekend and some weekdays. The rest of the guys faded away.... Tim is one of the last remaining gentlemen. He opens every door, pulls out chairs, holds my jacket, holds my hand, compliments me all the time.... we have great conversation. Our first dated was Oct. 15th and things are going great. Last month he got promoted and is having to relocate to Mississippi... which is about 3 hours from my house. He asked me to move in with him..... so last weekend we went look at houses. so Yes, i'm moving in.

The last thing i wanted to do was get serious with a guy, but, like a friend told me.... Chris, men like him are rare, ride this train and see where it goes.

Put your self out there, be accepting of people and new adventures... Never know who's around the corner......

Chris

PS..... this was us a couple weekends ago in Boca Raton, Fl

I've been single for over 5 years now and never really thought about dating. I am pretty content but people has been asking and I'm wondering if maybe I should give it a shot.

Isn't funny how things change. When I was dating (I know I am a older person) going out meant something totally different now than then. They call it going out if they are hanging out together? Say WHAT. What happened to going steady? Just me I guess. Then they say they are going out but he lives 100's of miles from her. (which is fine for me and her mom) LOL So very thankful I don't need to do that anymore as I have been married going on 43 years this August.

I date sporadically, but figured I would wait a year, heal and then finally put myself out there. I feel like you really do need to be friends with the person you potentially get with or at least have some of the same interests.

Edited June 3, 20179 yr by Aysla

On ‎6‎/‎1‎/‎2017 at 6:07 PM, SandyToes143 said:

it's more clear that my confidence was always the issue at the root of my dating problems. Going to have to take it slowly...

I think your sentiments can be echoed throughout this website with many of us. Understanding ourselves and our idiosyncrasies is a path which is hard to follow. The fact that you have had this revelation about yourself is a great leap forward in becoming the new person you're transforming into.

"I am not ashamed to confess that I am ignorant of what I do not know." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Girl.... I was married for 26 years. When i got banded 11/09 i was 230#.. zero self confidence or self esteem. My ex brought me down at every turn. He never wanted me to lose the weight to begin with. Now i see that it was just his way of keeping me down and him in control. But, 100#s later and 8 years..... i am soooooo happy. As the weight went down.. the confidence went up and up and up and up.... he hated it... So, last year i filed for divorce. He moved out about a year ago and i started dating..... and dating.... and dating..... my friend Tracy insisted , i joined Match. I was thinking...OMG, what kind of crazy men will i hear from. BUT, i didn't post a picture. Some say if you don't have a pic they wont talk to you... i say... get to stepping. If you don't like what you read on a profile and your that superficial that you need a pic ...then F U.... The first week i had dozens of men contacting me. I weeded through them and replied to a few. One of which was Tim.... I will say he was not what i "normally" go far.... but he met all of what i was looking for in a partner... and i messaged him.... I am so glad i did.
So dating i did.... there were quite a few.... and i almost needed a spread sheet to keep track of who, when and where. I was dating so much that i was wearing myself out. The men all knew that i was dating multiple men and were cool with it. Tim got real smart real fast.... he started scheduling our next date during the current date. He got tired of me saying... NO i already have a date that day/night/weekend..... hehe Got to the point were he was occupying most every weekend and some weekdays. The rest of the guys faded away.... Tim is one of the last remaining gentlemen. He opens every door, pulls out chairs, holds my jacket, holds my hand, compliments me all the time.... we have great conversation. Our first dated was Oct. 15th and things are going great. Last month he got promoted and is having to relocate to Mississippi... which is about 3 hours from my house. He asked me to move in with him..... so last weekend we went look at houses. so Yes, i'm moving in.
The last thing i wanted to do was get serious with a guy, but, like a friend told me.... Chris, men like him are rare, ride this train and see where it goes.
Put your self out there, be accepting of people and new adventures... Never know who's around the corner......
Chris
PS..... this was us a couple weekends ago in Boca Raton, Fl

Awesome! My husband forced my hand after 26 years and I am divorcing him. Conflicting feelings but I know it's for the best....for me. I'm 15lbs from goal and am trying my hand at online dating. Taking it slow. Definitely am not looking for a rebound. I want to eventually find a good one to share life with but I'm going to let the universe help with that! You give me hope. Thank you!