Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Rant: I had gastric sleeve surgery 12/2/2015. My highest weight was 307 pounds and my current weight is roughly 194 pounds. I moved to Florida late last year after my divorce and I have received the most attention I have ever gotten in my life. Guys would stare, give me a compliment or speak but never ask me out. A friend suggested I try online dating. I tried eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid and Black People Meet. I made sure to have friends look at my profile so they could tell me if my online profile was decent or not. I do not talk provocative and my pictures are appropriate.

I have gotten rid of every profile except eHarmony, but as soon as my subscription ends, I will cancel that too. I have gone on a few dates and the men who ask me out are nothing but freaking liars! They are either conceited, selfish, demanding or downright just looking for sex. My profile clearly states I am looking for a relationship, yet guys would ask to exchange pictures without even asking me for my name. And the guys who say they want a relationship on their profile eventually show their true colors and in the end you find out that they're just looking for someone to jump in bed with. Matter of fact, men would ask me to come visit them or if they could visit me, and that's just after communicating on the first day. WTF??? Are you not concerned about diseases??? The last guy who sent me a message on POF (Plenty of Fish) asked to meet him for drinks and was incapable of holding an decent conversation. I told him it was obvious he was looking for a hook-up and that's not me, and I wished him the best.

I have gotten to the point where I am no longer interested in dating. Some people has found the love of their life online but I don't think it's for me. I have accepted the fact that being single is the way to go, that way I won't have to bother with being disappointed.

Ok, rant over. LOL.

With that being said, I am looking for friends, just people to hang out with. Anyone want to just have coffee? I am a sucker for a good coffee, Cappuccino or latte. If you're in South Florida, let's grab a cup, as a friend :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rant: I had gastric sleeve surgery 12/2/2015. My highest weight was 307 pounds and my current weight is roughly 194 pounds. I moved to Florida late last year after my divorce and I have received the most attention I have ever gotten in my life. Guys would stare, give me a compliment or speak but never ask me out. A friend suggested I try online dating. I tried eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid and Black People Meet. I made sure to have friends look at my profile so they could tell me if my online profile was decent or not. I do not talk provocative and my pictures are appropriate.
I have gotten rid of every profile except eHarmony, but as soon as my subscription ends, I will cancel that too. I have gone on a few dates and the men who ask me out are nothing but freaking liars! They are either conceited, selfish, demanding or downright just looking for sex. My profile clearly states I am looking for a relationship, yet guys would ask to exchange pictures without even asking me for my name. And the guys who say they want a relationship on their profile eventually show their true colors and in the end you find out that they're just looking for someone to jump in bed with. Matter of fact, men would ask me to come visit them or if they could visit me, and that's just after communicating on the first day. WTF??? Are you not concerned about diseases??? The last guy who sent me a message on POF (Plenty of Fish) asked to meet him for drinks and was incapable of holding an decent conversation. I told him it was obvious he was looking for a hook-up and that's not me, and I wished him the best.
I have gotten to the point where I am no longer interested in dating. Some people has found the love of their life online but I don't think it's for me. I have accepted the fact that being single is the way to go, that way I won't have to bother with being disappointed.
Ok, rant over. LOL.
With that being said, I am looking for friends, just people to hang out with. Anyone want to just have coffee? I am a sucker for a good coffee, Cappuccino or latte. If you're in South Florida, let's grab a cup, as a friend [emoji4]


I think online dating is very difficult. I've met many guys and gals online in person and had four online relationships turn real life. I can honestly say that one is not connecting online with people as they would in real life. Online the connections are short, too easy to sever, and it's too easy to lie or fantasize online. Most people at online dating sites are looking for an easy lay.

Even if you click with someone online, once meeting them happens a person is no longer able to fill in the blanks with what they assumed about a person. This is why it's better to meet someone right away.

E-Harmony is a great place to meet people but you must be very clear about what you want. Also very honest.

It can happen, but you've got to wade through thousands of rocks just to find one diamond.

I think you're better off meeting someone at a meet up, the local library, or some place where you have an interest - this way you meet someone who already has that common interest from the get go. For some it's church or a class they take revolving around a hobby.

I'm sorry you've met so many creeps, sadly most guys just aren't that deep sometimes. They all want the sex. lol.

I wish you the absolute best.


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not only disease, what about train wreck, stalkers you never get exactly what you're reading, I stay single, go out with friends and keep it simple, believing in fate is how I feel and it will happen when we quit looking. The attention is great and the right guy will have the nerve or class to not just gawk at you but ask you out like a decent human being. Revel in your new body and let them take notice. I can't wait til my surgery so I can have me all gawking again, have fun with it.!

Sent from my N9519 using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

After, reading your post the sights your on are exactly that hook up
Sights. There are good decent hard working men who desire the same thing you desire to be in a committed relationship. At one time I had the same issue I met my wife at. We were first friends and because lovers now we're married with two children don't give up your perfect man is out there


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

On ‎4‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 6:12 PM, Lexigurl82 said:

Rant: I had gastric sleeve surgery 12/2/2015. My highest weight was 307 pounds and my current weight is roughly 194 pounds. I moved to Florida late last year after my divorce and I have received the most attention I have ever gotten in my life. Guys would stare, give me a compliment or speak but never ask me out. A friend suggested I try online dating. I tried eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid and Black People Meet. I made sure to have friends look at my profile so they could tell me if my online profile was decent or not. I do not talk provocative and my pictures are appropriate.

I have gotten rid of every profile except eHarmony, but as soon as my subscription ends, I will cancel that too. I have gone on a few dates and the men who ask me out are nothing but freaking liars! They are either conceited, selfish, demanding or downright just looking for sex. My profile clearly states I am looking for a relationship, yet guys would ask to exchange pictures without even asking me for my name. And the guys who say they want a relationship on their profile eventually show their true colors and in the end you find out that they're just looking for someone to jump in bed with. Matter of fact, men would ask me to come visit them or if they could visit me, and that's just after communicating on the first day. WTF??? Are you not concerned about diseases??? The last guy who sent me a message on POF (Plenty of Fish) asked to meet him for drinks and was incapable of holding an decent conversation. I told him it was obvious he was looking for a hook-up and that's not me, and I wished him the best.

I have gotten to the point where I am no longer interested in dating. Some people has found the love of their life online but I don't think it's for me. I have accepted the fact that being single is the way to go, that way I won't have to bother with being disappointed.

Ok, rant over. LOL.

With that being said, I am looking for friends, just people to hang out with. Anyone want to just have coffee? I am a sucker for a good coffee, Cappuccino or latte. If you're in South Florida, let's grab a cup, as a friend :)

The latter part of the 20th century and into the 21st century has witnessed a revolution in communication with the advent of the internet, social media and online dating. During its infancy, online dating used to be considered a crutch for those who had "no game" or were socially awkward and didn't have the skills to meet others at various social gathering, bars, taverns, outings etc.

Here we are in 2017 and online dating has become so mainstream with so many people swearing by its effectiveness that even the smallest of dating websites can turn its developer into a millionaire within a year. With all the positives that online dating can have there is a dark underbelly which your rant, very sincerely written, reveals.

This technological marvel of the internet allows us to become more connected to one another than any other time in human history. Yet at the same time, we're becoming more disconnected from one another than we ever have been. How many times have you seen friends out to dinner and all three or four of them aren't talking and socializing....their on their phones or tablets, checking Facebook for the latest drama, Instagram for the pictures and videos and every other activity except communicating with the ones they wanted to spend their time with at the table.

This behavior has side effects. It is reflected very evidently in online dating. The anonymity of the internet allows men and women to become whomever they choose to reveal to you. That prospective life partner whose profile you have found with the nice pictures claims to want all the same things you do, has the same interests, ready for a real relationship. Like the old adage says, "Oh what a wicked web we weave when we practice to deceive." It doesn't take long to see through the gaps and the holes which are created in that web of deceit. It's not easy to maintain a lie, it's an unnatural response for the human body to maintain proficiency at it (except for sociopaths, they are masters of the game - and I think most live on Capitol Hill in congress personally...but I digress)

Whether its Match, eHarmony, POF, or Tinder, it is essential that both men and women approach each profile of interest under the assumption that this person is not being truthful. In reality, none of us are; or we would list our idiosyncrasies and negative traits as well as all the self promoting adjectives we inscribe to our profiles. It is incumbent upon the interested party expressing an interest in you to demonstrate they are worthy of your time and that means they should have gone through your narrative and interests, not once but a few times. They need to invest themselves in communication and be willing to move as slow as you are comfortable with. They make the job much easier when they claim they just want a hook up or trade pictures etc. In this field of potential suitors there are copious amounts of chaff covering the quality wheat, and if we are to truly reap the benefits of online dating then we also need to be able to sift and burn off the chaff to eventually expose the wheat to nourish a potential relationship. Long winded, but I hoped it helped.

Edited by Guest
grammatical

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×