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Going out to eat is depressing...

Mandybb

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Mandybb    183

Mandybb
Posted

This is a rough time! During Christmas I was on my liver shrink diet, then New Years, my anniversary was last month, then Super Bowl and now Valentines! I go with my husband out to eat and Celebrate but there is no celebration anymore. The waitresses always ask if the food was bad because I only eat 5 bites, they constantly watch to see if I'm enjoying so I'm being watched on top of being full an hour before my husband. So I just sit there watching him gorge himself and not gain a pound (hate his metabolism). I feel uncomfortable and out of place to where the experience isn't enjoyable but he doesn't understand. I ask him to share his food so I don't feel awkward but he says he's hungry.

Going out used to be the highlight of my day and now I'm left underwhelmed and bored. I tried to tell my husband we need to start doing other activities not surrounded around food but food is still a major part of his life. He's very supportive of me but I'm struggling to find common ground. What new activities do some of the vets do now that they didn't before to keep the peace?

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cuchas    51

cuchas
Posted

You can always take the food to go! I still love to go out to eat and I'll be on my second year this summer. I don't eat everything, but always take a to go bag with me :)

It doesn't stop me from enjoying our lunch / dinner dates because you guys can still talk while he eats. Look at this way... you will have plenty of yummy left overs to eat later when he already finished all his :P I always look forward to my leftovers lol saves money too!

Besides food, you can go to the movies, miniature golf, amusement parks... whatever you did before, whatever hobbies you have, you guys can still do :)

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Mandybb    183

Mandybb
Posted (edited)

I probably should mention my husband is in the military and INHALES his food. He's never been one for much discussion but before it wasn't as noticeable because I was inhaling my food as well. I played Trivia the whole time at Chili's today. I might mention we have been married 19 years and our lives and travels have revolved around food or wine. I need to connect with him and it's difficult because the one thing we shared a love for is gone. I guess movies would be a good option, but the smell of butter popcorn is a bit overwhelming for me right now. Thanks for the advice though. I need a hobby and then drag him to it. I was thinking boot camp training after my strength returns. He loves working out, me not so much.

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Edited by Mandybb

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LittleLizzieLilliput    919

LittleLizzieLilliput
Posted

I don't know if this will help but it's just a suggestion. I eat very slow now when I go out so I can stay on pace with my dinner-mates. I take a bite and then lean back. I also do a lot more talking now as I dont' have my mouth full. lol!

I also take it as an opportunity to try different flavors on my Proteins. So I get something different to try. I also love knowing that I can just order off the appetizer menu now. lol! That's always fun.

But I agree, it is important that you come up with different things to connect with your husband on. I know after work it's hard to do something other than just go out to eat. Maybe bowling?? I know that sounds nuts but he can eat/drink while bowling? Something like that. Sorry, just brainstorming.

Also, maybe do some of those mystery dinner things or the dinner and a show. That way you can start to combine things?

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Go To Topic Listing POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
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    • BeanitoDiego

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      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
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    • BeanitoDiego

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      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

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      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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