MEN vs WOMEN & the perception of body image and weight in society?

[Diva Taunia 198]

I have a bit of a touchy subject that I'd love to get some input from you lovely folks about. Tomorrow on The Backstage Pass Radio Program, we have a panel of gentlemen that will be joining us to discuss weight status and the perception of men's body image in society today. (Good ol' Alex Brecher from right here at Bariatric Pal will be on that panel!). We'll be discussing a number of different topics, ranging from when men were just adolescents and dealing with being overweight and perhaps bullied, to being men in society now either struggling with their weight OR having lost a great deal of weight and viewing the world as a thinner person.

What are YOUR thoughts about men and weight/obesity? Does society treat overweight men differently than it treats women?

If you were an overweight or obese man at one point and are now thinner, does the world view you differently?

What types of topics or discussion points do you think are important to cover?

I'd love and appreciate your feedback on this! Many thanks! Cheers, Taunia

PS: If you'd like to hear Alex and the other gentlemen, the show will be on at NOON, PST at www.backstagepassradio.com. You can even call in to talk with us at 347-857-2052!

[sgc 538]

I'm not going to speak for women but men do get treated differently based on looks. Men are discriminated against based on weight. One thing I will say is that there is more awareness and more discussion about body image with women than men. Society makes it ok for women to be more vocal about body image whereas men are pressured more to internalize things. I think this societal pressure of not being open by men is a big reason men commit suicide at a higher rate than women.

[James Marusek 5,244]

As a child I was short and skinny. I used to get bullied and beaten up on a regular basis. As I approached adulthood, I gained a little weight. This meant that I could defend myself better because I had a little weight to push around. In later life as an obese adult, I felt I was being discriminated against in the work environment because of my weight. Nothing that was said to my face and nothing that could be proved in a court of law. Only this is one of the sad realities of life. After losing the weight due to RNY gastric bypass surgery, I can observe the difference that society treats me. I went from invisible to visible. It seems like I have gained more respect. These are subjective observations and may not have a basis in reality. They lie in the smallest of things.

[Travelher 915]

I have a bit of a touchy subject that I'd love to get some input from you lovely folks about. Tomorrow on The Backstage Pass Radio Program, we have a panel of gentlemen that will be joining us to discuss weight status and the perception of men's body image in society today. (Good ol' Alex Brecher from right here at Bariatric Pal will be on that panel!). We'll be discussing a number of different topics, ranging from when men were just adolescents and dealing with being overweight and perhaps bullied, to being men in society now either struggling with their weight OR having lost a great deal of weight and viewing the world as a thinner person.

What are YOUR thoughts about men and weight/obesity? Does society treat overweight men differently than it treats women?

If you were an overweight or obese man at one point and are now thinner, does the world view you differently?

What types of topics or discussion points do you think are important to cover?

I'd love and appreciate your feedback on this! Many thanks! Cheers, Taunia

PS: If you'd like to hear Alex and the other gentlemen, the show will be on at NOON, PST at www.backstagepassradio.com. You can even call in to talk with us at 347-857-2052!

Clearly obese men face discrimination like the rest of the obese population. the biggest difference is the societal expectation that women are required to be attractive.

I once was told by my obese male boss in my performance review that i was overweight and it made me look sloppy (I have always worn suits and dressed professionally). I had a 40 bmi at the time. after I had lapband surgery (he didn't know) and I lost weight; the following year he told me that he was happy i listened to his feedback and gave me an Exceeds on my performance review. I was angrier after that than I was the first time.

Not sure this happens to men in the same way.

[Diva Taunia 198]

I'm not going to speak for women but men do get treated differently based on looks. Men are discriminated against based on weight. One thing I will say is that there is more awareness and more discussion about body image with women than men. Society makes it ok for women to be more vocal about body image whereas men are pressured more to internalize things. I think this societal pressure of not being open by men is a big reason men commit suicide at a higher rate than women.

Sgc, you bring up a really good point. I think it's MUCH more acceptable for women to be openly vulnerable about their weight, their bodies, etc. My brother is obese and I know it bothers him, but I don't think I've ever heard him be really vulnerable about how it makes him feel. (He's also a carpenter and a rough-tough guys-guys who never cries.) When you made this point, I sat there and thought about how many times I've talked about this issue with friends, family and therapists and it's staggering. And it's because it's socially acceptable for me to do so.

As a child I was short and skinny. I used to get bullied and beaten up on a regular basis. As I approached adulthood, I gained a little weight. This meant that I could defend myself better because I had a little weight to push around. In later life as an obese adult, I felt I was being discriminated against in the work environment because of my weight. Nothing that was said to my face and nothing that could be proved in a court of law. Only this is one of the sad realities of life. After losing the weight due to RNY gastric bypass surgery, I can observe the difference that society treats me. I went from invisible to visible. It seems like I have gained more respect. These are subjective observations and may not have a basis in reality. They lie in the smallest of things.

James, I'll never forget the conversation that my regular doctor and I had after my surgery (she and I were close). She asked me if people treated me differently now that I had lost weight. I had always thought people treated me fine when I was morbidly obese, but I was definitely treated better and kinder after I lost weight. Doors were opened for me, people looked me in the eye and said hello, small things that I hadn't noticed as an obese woman, but those subtle differences in humanity really shine through once you lose weight.

Travelher

Clearly obese men face discrimination like the rest of the obese population. the biggest difference is the societal expectation that women are required to be attractive.

I once was told by my obese male boss in my performance review that i was overweight and it made me look sloppy (I have always worn suits and dressed professionally). I had a 40 bmi at the time. after I had lapband surgery (he didn't know) and I lost weight; the following year he told me that he was happy i listened to his feedback and gave me an Exceeds on my performance review. I was angrier after that than I was the first time.

Not sure this happens to men in the same way.

That INFURIATES me. I think situations like that happen all the time. I can recall several times where bosses or superiors had told me that I'd be very attractive if I lost weight (back then the laws weren't quiet the same). Such bs.

Thanks so much for these comments. I'll still be checking in today, so I'd love any more feedback before the show. And PLEASE tune in if you'd like to hear the conversation! NOON PST at www.backstagepassradio.com

[Malin 470]

To be honest--it always seemed to me it was 'ok' if guys had some extra weight on them whereas women HAD to be thin. Maybe that's my personal programming. It seemed when I was in college that way, and I suppose I've carried that into my adult life. When I was in the military, I felt the weight charts favored the males over the females.

[MoLiver4u 29]

I am interested in the male perspective. I know that heavy men have trouble getting dates (although I think it depends on build...a beer belly seems perfectly acceptable). I never saw it run over so much in the workplace. I know that as an overweight female my job prospects are much lower and I can't really advance in my field the same way I could if I were thin. Thin women are everywhere in the media but the men on TV and in movies aren't always equivalent.

Being a fat woman always feels like a stigma and it's one that I'm afraid I will mentally live with for the rest of my life regardless of my weight. Men get to wear pretty generic suits whereas women have to look fashionable, style their hair, wear make up...so much of who we are depends on what we look like:( I know we live in a society that still considers bias against the overweight acceptable, but I think that women get the brunt of it because we're judged on our looks in so many ways that men aren't.