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PTSD from being fat?

BrookeTiffani

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BrookeTiffani    54

BrookeTiffani
Posted

I am in fear that I have PTSD from being fat. (I'm still fat, just not as fat as I was). I started this process on July 6. Had surgery 10/31. from July 6 to now, I have lost 77 pounds. I cannot see much of a difference when I look in the mirror. I can tell in clothes and sometimes pictures, and my double chin has reduced significantly from what I can tell, but when I look at myself from the side I feel like I am still over 400 lbs!! Also, even though I never go over 3 ounces and measure out my food and meal prep I feel like I am eating way too much. The feeling I have after I eat is that same guilty feeling I used to get when I would binge.I also catch myself still in the mindset of where I used to be. Say, driving home from work and having that urge to go to fast food. It's like second nature. I realize I have a food addiction. Has anyone else ever felt this way? I cannot get past the feeling that I am making no progrees, or too slow progress, even though I have had a few NSVs and the evidence shows I am progressing. :blush:

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reree6898    1,164

reree6898
Posted

Many people feel this way. Myself included. I've lost around 170 lbs since surgery and still have a hard time seeing the difference in myself most of the time. I have heard several others talk about how therapy has helped them with this issue. I am on the waiting list for a therapist with eating disorder training.

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Who'sThere    331

Who'sThere
Posted

What you are feeling is pretty normal from everything I've read. PTSD is very serious and I'm not sure it is a fair comparison at all.

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BrookeTiffani    54

BrookeTiffani
Posted

Sorry if I didn't know a better way to explain. Thanks for your input though.

What you are feeling is pretty normal from everything I've read. PTSD is very serious and I'm not sure it is a fair comparison at all.

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Healthy_life2    8,319

Healthy_life2
Posted

I'm not ashamed to admit I went to a counselor to deal with my weight loss issues. It takes time for your mind to wrap it self around you physical changes. Working on Body image, the urge to go back to old behaviors and guilt/ shame about food. Will help you to be successful long term.

I wish you the best,

Jenn

The urge to go back to old behaviors is something

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RJrocks    69

RJrocks
Posted

An eating disorder, yes. Emotional scarring, yes. Struggles to put your true size to reality probably. PTSD, no. Not unless you suffered a close call with death due to your size such as a heart attack.

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BrookeTiffani    54

BrookeTiffani
Posted

Emotional scarring is more along the lines of what I meant.

An eating disorder, yes. Emotional scarring, yes. Struggles to put your true size to reality probably. PTSD, no. Not unless you suffered a close call with death due to your size such as a heart attack.

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nlmguerrero    50

nlmguerrero
Posted

I had surgery two weeks ago and I feel like I didn't have surgery. I know its still extremely early but I feel like my eating isn't as restricted as it should be. I'm worried that this way not work. I'm definitely worried. Post op appointment is tomorrow so I will see what they have to say. 77 lbs is amazing by the way!

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BrookeTiffani    54

BrookeTiffani
Posted

I also feel like I've never even had it. I measure three ounces and I'm like this is way too much. It's not supposed to be this big of a portion

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Go To Topic Listing POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • KeeWee

      KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
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    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
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